My husband is obsessed with his willy

[Falsey]

Have name changed to save embarrassment.

I have been with dh a long time and we are happily married. However, he has always been slightly obsessed with his willy. This has been slightly irritating over the years, but I have learnt to ignore it (his obsession not his willy).

Anyway, I have found out that he has been going on sex toy websites and had purchased false willy covers of different sizes, which I think you wear over your willy to make them look bigger. He has then been wearing them at sporting events under hs cycling shorts!

My dh has a completely normal willy, it is not small and perfectly fine. He is a good looking successful man.

I don't know why this has irritated me, but the thought of my dh cruising sex toy websites, ordering products, having them posted to work rather than home and then wearing them when I am not with him, is strange. He then puts pictures of himself in his enhanced cycling shorts on fb.

I really don't know if I should be annoyed or not! What do you think?

[MonkeySea]

So can we link to Awkward Boners here?

www.awkwardboners.com/2012/03/too-tight-or-too-little-tight/
www.awkwardboners.com/2010/04/someones-got-a-heart-on/

[ZacharyQuack]

There's just no truth in cycling these days.

First Lance Armstrong and now this...

[lottiegarbanzo]

Garlicblocks, yes, more dishonest because the deception is more meaningful. My point is that, in contrast, this deception is pointless, because, to the extent that woman judge male attractiveness visually, we don't generally place a lot of emphasis on flaccid bulge size.

[lottiegarbanzo]

SomethingOnce, really? So if the OP stuffed her bra to double size and donned a skin-tight dress to socialise in her husband's absence (but never in his presence), then posted photos emphasising her mega-cleavage on Facebook, he would be unreasonable to be the slightest bit concerned?

Not the same thing of course. Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic that are normally visible and part of a woman's body shape. A penis is a primary sexual organ and not usually displayed in public.

I'm all for being empathetic when people have problems but sometimes, their over-confidence is the problem, for other people!

[Falsey]

Thanks for the replies all. Some very amusing ones!

I don't think he is trying to attract women or men, just 'impress' them for his own self esteem and an ego boost. His willy is a good size.

It sometimes does feel that there are 3 parts of the relationship, dh, me and his willy. As if I'm lucky to have his willy....a precious gift. He would talk about it a lot if I gave him the chance. He also thinks his willy gives a great performance in bed!

We have spoken about this in that sex can be about his performance rather than him being able to keep his hands off me. He agreed and did admit to having a bit of an obsession.

I don't think the willy cover is the same as spanx or enhancing bras. Dh knows I wear spanx with fitted clothes and has seen me struggle into them! He wears a false willy to impress others when I am not there.

He has gone too far this time and when I 'raise' it he is embarrassed. He s a lovely, gorgeous dh most of the time.

Do other dh have these issues? Maybe in secret??

[sudaname]

Somethingonce l agree with you about John Prescott although l have been prolific on this thread in joining in the fun, but only taking OPs lead - would not dream of it in front of the person with the 'issue' or indeed if the OP herself didnt see the amusing side and was just very upset about it.
I might add too - if John Prescott had been slim, there would have been much less frivolity and cruel jibes around it too.

[threestepsforward]

Falsey,

Sorry if my post was a bit flippant yesterday. Because of the subject matter I linked the Bruce pic to offer some balance with the red cycling shorts (which made me really giggle!)

I genuinely have no advice to offer, but hope you can sort it all out and somehow get him to downgrade the status of his willy in your relationship!

I have to say you write very well by the way, very funny :)

[MysteriousHamster]

I want to repeat Tortoiseonahalfshell's post:

OP, what do you mean by "he often gets it out, when I don't want to see it"?

[iclaudius]

Has anyone actually confirmed that these 'enhancers' actually do EXIST?

[iclaudius]

Op not doubting you on anyway but just what ARE they?

[CheerfulYank]

I'm still dying over "motifs". :o

I don't care for the look of cocks at all, clothed or unclothed...it's not an active dislike, just, "meh". It's just the function that concerns me!

[FlorentinePogen]

Has anyone actually confirmed that these 'enhancers' actually do EXIST?

www.sextoys.co.uk/realistic-dildos/fleshlight-mr-limpy-large.asp

I guess this would give him a good bulge. Public school has a lot to answer for, eh ?

[HotDAMNlifeisgood]

I know plenty of little boys who are fascinated and delighted by their penises.

It's not such an attractive feature in a grown man though, is it?

[SomethingOnce]

I'd say the same about women re: boobs.

I don't think it matters whether the sexual characteristic in question is a primary or secondary one; people who are obsessed with bits of themselves are a bit tedious generally (although sympathies if it's crossed over into a bona (see what I did there?) fide MH issue).

[FlorentinePogen]

Something, what does MH mean in your post ?

Male hard-on ?
Member hugeness ?
Male health ?
Mental health ?
Moribund Homosexuality ?

We should be told.

[SomethingOnce]

Sorry, I meant mental health, as in Body Dysmorphic Disorder-type issues.

[GoSuckEggs]

i think I might actually waste my whole day on laughing my pants off!

Thanks for the link

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

"As if I'm lucky to have his willy....a precious gift. He would talk about it a lot if I gave him the chance. He also thinks his willy gives a great performance in bed!"

Does it drive you mad him taking himself too seriously? How is sex? High opinion of one's sexual prowess isn't usually correlated with actually being a good shag, I wouldn't have thought.

I have been known to comment on my "sacred fanjo" but I was entirely joking I promise

[TDada]

OP to answer your question about other men...never occurred to me

[lottiegarbanzo]

Well, I remember reading my Mum's copy of Joy of Sex when I was about 12 (underwear drawer was not a secure hiding place) and it talked about considering the penis a 'third person' in the relationship (mostly on the grounds that it doesn't always do what its owner wants I think!). Maybe your DH read it too but interpreted that advice differently.

[Slolee]

Have you told him that he has got a great willy? - I suspect not - try it & see!

[Oblomov]

After Cock rings, enhancers are one of the best sellers, to male purchasers. So it can't just be cyclists and Op's dh who are requiring these.

[TDada]

Need to get good complexion match