My husband is obsessed with his willy

[Falsey]

Have name changed to save embarrassment.

I have been with dh a long time and we are happily married. However, he has always been slightly obsessed with his willy. This has been slightly irritating over the years, but I have learnt to ignore it (his obsession not his willy).

Anyway, I have found out that he has been going on sex toy websites and had purchased false willy covers of different sizes, which I think you wear over your willy to make them look bigger. He has then been wearing them at sporting events under hs cycling shorts!

My dh has a completely normal willy, it is not small and perfectly fine. He is a good looking successful man.

I don't know why this has irritated me, but the thought of my dh cruising sex toy websites, ordering products, having them posted to work rather than home and then wearing them when I am not with him, is strange. He then puts pictures of himself in his enhanced cycling shorts on fb.

I really don't know if I should be annoyed or not! What do you think?

I googled 'fake willy cover' and found this for faking urine sample tests?!? Never ceases to amaze me what you can find online, bloody hell.

I find it hard NOT to look at mens bulges in lycra shorts.
Or maybe it,s just me! SNOOGYWOOS chipolata in cycling shorts made me chuckle.

Sorry, but this is very funny.

Is the willy cover comfortable to wear while riding a bike?

Mind you, if it were my DH, I wouldn't be laughing.

I think this is strange. Very strange indeed.

And I would be suspicious about his motifs too.

Can he wee through it ? Would it pass a sneaky sideways inspection at the urinals.

Sorry - just need to know, no idea why .

OMG - just visualised it falling off into that gulley thing and bobbing past all the other men stood at the urinal.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

God,this is so funny.

I think l've found my level.

Ha ha ha sorry but now his willy with motifs has really made me chuckle

Lol, I'm laughing at motifs and I bloody typed it!

All the iPads fault, of course!

O dear god.... I'm laughing so hard at the mental image of a renegade cock and balls floating around a communal urinal dp is giving me very odd looks.

I think I may need a lie down to recover.

Chum of mine way back in the seventies purchased something called Cock-Socks, I think they were hand knitted willy warmers that were just for a laugh, as they unravelled quickly and looked very ribbed through tight seventies hipster loons...happy days

I noticed the motifs but was worried about sounding condescending in case it was a genuine spelling mistake. Now l have actually managed to sound condescending

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You could buy him dumb bells for willy exercises for Valentines. .......Just go with dear.

threesteps bless you for brightening up my day :)

Is it something like this?

Male genitals look like turkey gizzards. (Thanks to Sylvia Plath for that image)

I've seen lots of comparisons here to wonderbras / chicken fillets (ew) / Spanx but I really don't think that's right. With women's bodies there's a sense of 'what you see is what you get' and that's what these products try to enhance but with willies, what you see isn't what you get, it is just a flaccid gizzard (thanks for that WMD but she was right!). Now, if they went around tumescent... well that would be more interesting!

OP he's not the only one with this obsession. A friend's DH has over the years made repeated references to the size of his, to me, her mother, in front of my DP. He's a big bloke, it's in proportion, I get it. It just seems to be something he likes to mention...

Lidl Extra Silicone Penis Extension Sleeve?! Really? Do you think they stock them near the tampons & stuff, or in the veg baskets next to carrots?

YY, Lottie & others. A friend posted a picture of his best mate at some do on Facebook last night. Four of their male pals have commented that said mate seemed to have a lazy lob on ... It's the blokes who notice each other's crotch status, not women!

Although I have been known to notice when there seems to be something to notice

With women's [breasts] there's a sense of 'what you see is what you get' and that's what [fillets/bras] try to enhance but with willies, what you see isn't what you get

Which makes chicken fillets more dishonest than penis extenders, no?

Come to think of it (why am I thinking of it?!), the penis 'sleeve' is intended for use so, not only would you be getting a preview of what to expect, it is what you'd get - though you might not have been expecting it to be made of silicon The man misled by padding & chicken fillets will have to make you keep your bra on, if he wants to retain the illusion.

Erm - okay, then, they're both misleading, but at least you can have sex with the fake penis ... I need to abandon this topic, it's forcing my imagination beyond its comfort zone ...

OP, what do you mean by "he often gets it out, when I don't want to see it"?

Did anyone see that QI where they discussed how men look at other men's crotchal areas? As in - all men, gay, straight, bi. Not in a sexual way, they just do.

And... men (human), look at dogs' willies too. I will search for it on youtube, but it was kinda: face - tick; willy - tick.

Ach, can't find the clip, but the synopsis reads: The science of gaze detection is the study of how we look at things. In this science it was discovered that women will look at people's faces, whereas men will look at both people's faces and their genitals. What is more disturbing is that the American Kennel Association discovered that the same is true when men and women stare at animals. Gaze detection is important to shops because they can put the right goods on the shelves that people are most likely to look at.

Assuming this isn't a wind up:

Is it ok to have a laugh about possible male body image issues? Making it a subject for humour is perhaps unhelpful, given that men, especially male teens/young men, are starting to suffer the kinds of problems that have hitherto been mainly the preserve of women. It reminds me a bit of when John Prescott talked about his eating disorder and got the piss taken in a way that would've been deemed much more unacceptable were he a woman.

OP, I think your husband has every right to look for and buy whatever products he wants. It would be unreasonable for him to be annoyed with you for buying chicken fillets, so it should be the same the other way round. Of course, if you're worried for him, that's different.