Hi All,
my relationship with "DP" is over, i carnt take the shit anymore. I just carnt do it. Since my ds was born dp has walked in and out on diffrent occasions but recently he hasnt done it, anyway, ds woke up poorly last wednesday early hours and he had peed out of his nappy so needing changing and by the time i had changed him and settled him he was wide awake, dp was going on about how he had to get up for work in x amount of time moan moan moan anyway ds was jumping on bed at this point 4.30am and he fell onto dp head so he pushed him quite aggresivly off him onto me and we ended up headbutting ds thought it was a game but it really did hurt me, DS is 21 months can i just add anyway i stayed calm and just told him to get up for work and go to work, he ended up hitting me with his trousers which hit our ds too he then started saying i was a fucking cunt, fucking prick, fucking whore blah blah blah etc etc so instead of retaliating (sorry for spelling) i was laughing with ds going silly daddy silly daddy so ds couldnt hear his dad calling his mum a fucking cunt, anyway, ended up with dp punching through our tv in ourbedroom while son was sat in our bed, then he said to me "your not laughing now are you". I told him to get out took his key off him and calmly locked the door and went back to bed with my ds didnt hear from him untill saturday morning - not a whimper, i was very very happy actually. In the meantime id bagged all his stuff up and put it out back for him to collect (if he did, the other times he walked out he just went out with is £1600 wage and brought all new stuff) and id put the tv out back too so when i saw it i could remember why i didnt need this twat head in my life no more but whenever my ds saw it he would say "daddy bang bang!" and point at tv so moved it in the end so ds couldnt see it - anyway.....
Saturday morning he knocks on the door i tell him i dont want to talk to him and i dont care, he says please, i let him in to talk, he gives me all the tears how much he thought about me and ds how much he loves us etc etc how he has no where to stay how he will go to the doctors about his anger blah blah refuses to leave, i give up and go to my grans house, when i get back home he has literaly done nothing but sit and watch tv (So much for change) and ds is asleep in my arms he starts an argument, telling me my parenting skills are crapp, i dont look affter ds because ds doesnt get disiplined by me etc etc how i dont want him here blah blah i told him that it will not work i want him to leave i carnt do it all again, he says did i mean it that it was over i said yes he slams my front door into my pram (lucky ds wasnt in it!) and tells me "how it fucking breaks" which wakes my poor ds up so i ring the police.
Next minute he is at my neighbours who i share a yard with, her backdoor backs onto my back door stood outside my back door with my neighbour smoking looking straight through my window!!!! He begs me to let me stay because its raning and he has no where to go blah blah blah i say he can stay on ds bedroom floor as ds doesnt sleep in his cot yet (still in our bed) anyway he at work the next two days, things are ok, we get on much more when he at work , on the 3rd day he is off and he is stropping around the house, swearing, not doing anything, back to his usual self anyway today i told him to go out for abit at 3pm to get out my hair for abit, he comes in at 7pm stinking of booze wakes our ds up who i was trying to settle to sleep and tells me he been sat in the pub with his mate all evening while i been looking after our ds so ive told him to go, i carnt do all this shit anymore i carnt be mentally abused i carnt have him telling me everything i do is wrong or shit anymore i carnt do it...the problem i have now is i have £288 a month spare for food, clothes, petrol, car matience, everything and i dont know how im going to do it! :'(
PS...Not actually sad that ive left my dp....feel free....feel happy!!!! more pissed off with the fact he has £1600 a month for himself for a job I GOT HIM!!!" ugh.
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Relationships
I carnt take this shit anymore..... i just carnt...
MySonIsMyWorld · 07/02/2013 22:39
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Hope you've had a good day today. Things won't always be like this; sounds like you've had one thing after another lately. Have a 
and a 
.
As hard as it is, try not to think about him. Focus on you & ds. You are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Your ex is not worth anymore of your energy. He has proven to you repeatedly that he is violent and selfish. He's not a good dad & he doesn't love you.
Let him move on, good riddance I'd say, and I'd pity the poor woman he moves on to next. He will never maintain a happy relationship anyway, just hold on to the fact that you & ds are so much better off without him in your lives.
Regarding CSA, I'd definitely contact them & set up a case.
Regarding access, never link this with money for your child. See it as 2 separate issues. Don't try & block contact unless you genuinely think he is a danger to your child. However, I'd strongly recommend using a solicitor to deal with him as he's so volatile. If it turns out he doesn't want to see your ds then that might be a good thing. But don't be the one to stop access as that isn't putting your ds first.
It's hard being a lone parent, but it's better to be alone than in bad company
I'd think of ways to take your mind off your ex. Read, watch a good film, play with ds, plan a holiday etc etc.
Accept all offers of help from friends/family.
You will be fine, it'll just take time. Don't have him back whatever you do. Enjoy your 20's instead of wasting it on twats like I did!
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