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Original poster

Quick Q ... is this appropriate?

62 replies

SoupOfTheNight · 19/01/2013 10:16

DH takes kids to school.

Makes coversation with a mum there.

Adds her on facebook.

Talks to her all times of night.

Never mentions her to me, I have no idea who she is.

Massive long, personal conversations and talk of the snowball fight they all had.

DH moans to her about his legs aching after work out, she says Ask '(DW - me)' to rub them for you. (with daft embarresed face after)

I go to bed last night, hes drinking, sends message to her at 11:30pm to start up conversation.

This is all through private messages, not on wall.

Appropriate?

OP posts:
Whippoorwhill · 19/01/2013 10:17

Nope. Sorry.

TrippleBerryFairy · 19/01/2013 10:18

No

LIZS · 19/01/2013 10:18

er no

elizadofuckall · 19/01/2013 10:18

Nope! And i would be telling him so right now!!!

Original poster
SoupOfTheNight · 19/01/2013 10:19

He says it is,

am going to show him reactions on here.

OP posts:
AngryTrees · 19/01/2013 10:19

No. Not at all. I would say it's the beginning of something, they seem to be getting closer and sneaking off to have exciting chats at night in secret. Definitely something that needs discussing.

TrippleBerryFairy · 19/01/2013 10:20

Is he generally a bit immature and disrespectul to you? Is he SAHD?

thixotropic · 19/01/2013 10:21

No

elizadofuckall · 19/01/2013 10:21

Really Mr Soupofthenight?

So then you will be okay with Mrs Soupofthenight doing the same with one of the dads from school?

Get a grip man..what are you? 12?

Original poster
SoupOfTheNight · 19/01/2013 10:22

He said he would be fine with it.

OP posts:
MrsBucketxx · 19/01/2013 10:22

If he is not hiding it or being sneeky no.

Dh has a female freind who texts at odd times, but I know its ok nothing to worry about. We have met etc.

Looks like he is being sneeky though.

elizadofuckall · 19/01/2013 10:23

Cool...off you go then love...sounds like he is giving you the nod to 'do your own thing'...So go test the theory :)

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 10:25

It's not appropriate at all... he's making a complete fool of himself. How many male friends does he text last thing at night after you're in bed?

StuffezLaBouche · 19/01/2013 10:26

No, it's not ok...not sure many people would be comfortable with this actually Hmm

Anniegetyourgun · 19/01/2013 10:26

He says it's appropriate, he says he would be fine with it... well he would, wouldn't he?

eliza , I like both your name and your style.

MarilynValentine · 19/01/2013 10:26

Not appropriate. I'm sure he knows that really. He's just got into a flirtation and he likes it and wants to protect his 'right' to have it.

Disrespectful of him to think nothing of how it's making you feel.

EvenBetter · 19/01/2013 10:28

I'd find an emotional affair inappropriate and grounds for him to move in with one of his mates for a wee while to mature a bit and consider his marriage vows. Long, personal conversations with another woman is disrespectful to you and not a great sign for the marriage or his opinion of his wife IMO. If he finds nothing wrong with it he's telling you he will continue and probably won't even bother hiding it.

Sugarice · 19/01/2013 10:29

It is completely inappropriate!

I would be livid if dh did this, you need to rein this in.

tribpot · 19/01/2013 10:32

But as you would never mention this school dad you were chatting to, how would he know to be fine with it?

I have a massive long chat convos with some of my (male) friends - partly that's just maths, most of my close friends are male because I work in a very male industry. My DH doesn't know all of them personally, he's heard all their names mentioned and the conversations are not typically personal - chit chat, work chat, gossip, how do you do [x] in a computer game our dc are both playing. When I do do 'personal' chat it tends to be because the other party is having a relationship problem - I do tell DH about these.

If he does all the school runs logically he will develop a network of friends and contacts as a result - that's how it goes. Some will be closer than others, ditto. But is his network really made up of one person?

chubbymomie2012 · 19/01/2013 10:33

Really not appropriate and maybe I'm a massive cynic but if this is what u know about what is he hiding. I'd be annoyed he's making a fool of me in front of other parents ESP I they see this blossoming friendship. Lastly. I'd be mighty pissed at this doll who he's messaging she is as much to blame, unless he's stalking her and she is trying to politely put him off. Hmm either way not appropriate.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 10:37

I bet all the other people at the school gates are laughing at you behind your back. "Poor old SoupOfTheNight being married to a lecherous old tomcat like that... "

elizadofuckall · 19/01/2013 10:38

Also, what could possibly be the context of the 'embarrassed face' after saying get your DW to massage your legs?

That doesnt make sense in the context of a friendship..if i were suggesting my friend get a leg rub from her DH i wouldnt add an embarrassed face!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 10:42

I know the context... The 'friend', realising he's stepping over the mark with the 'will you rub my legs' (oo-eerrr missus!!) comment is saying 'you have a DW for that ...' I also have a (mildly lecherous) old friend who occasionally texts something that's a bit risque and that's the kind of thing I like to remind him.

elizadofuckall · 19/01/2013 10:43

Exactly cogito.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/01/2013 10:47

And my mildly lecherous old friend is almost certainly having an EA with me. The fact that it isn't reciprocated is rather by the by....

OP... how about taking your kids to school yourself for a while. Meet this woman and get chatting :)