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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Husband won't let my family visit

114 replies

sosotiredagain123 · 30/11/2012 18:29

DH has for the 2nd time in three months refused to let my parents visit they live over 200 miles away and I have not seen them since July but he wants quiet weekends

OP posts:
ThereGoesTheYear · 30/11/2012 19:17

He's abusive. He won't get the children. Just so that you know that you can do this, call Women's Aid, see a solicitor, and chek your benefits entitlement. You can't live like this.

StickEmWithThePointyEnd · 30/11/2012 19:18

Leave the bastard. Seriously. And as soon as possible. He won't take the kids, he's just saying it to frighten you into staying.

crunchbag · 30/11/2012 19:26

What would happen if your parents did come over for a visit? Could they take you and the children home with them?
Can you go to your parents without him stopping you, do you have access to a car, money for petrol etc?

Please phone woman aid or talk to you parents and ask for their help.

tadjennyp · 30/11/2012 19:32

I really hope he doesn't check your internet history and find this thread. From what you have described it is the kind of thing that would push him over the edge. Can you delete your history? You would know where to find it another time.

As ledkr says it starts small and escalates. Plenty of us have been there and had to leave. He has no right to tell you you can't see your parents and is doing that so you are isolated and he has complete control over you. When was the last time he 'allowed' you to see a friend? I am really worried for you and like the others urge you to call your parents and/or Women's Aid. He won't get to keep the dcs. [hugs]

Original poster
sosotiredagain123 · 30/11/2012 20:07

He is vile I pushed it about my family coming and he twisted my arm and poured a glass of wine over me

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 30/11/2012 20:11

PLease call someone

Family, womensaid friend or police

That is terrible and assault

pictish · 30/11/2012 20:12

Oh Hell. Sad

expatinscotland · 30/11/2012 20:12

When he goes out to work next, you leave with your kids.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR · 30/11/2012 20:14

If you think he's revving up for more tonight then call the police now and say you're afraid of him, that he's abusive, and you want him removed. The police take domestic violence very seriously; it is a crime.

KenLeeeeeee · 30/11/2012 20:15

Please contact Womens Aid and get out of there. Please.

Original poster
sosotiredagain123 · 30/11/2012 20:16

He says he will say I abusive him I wish he was dead

OP posts:
Original poster
sosotiredagain123 · 30/11/2012 20:16

abused sorry can't see for tears he is bright and very plausible

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 30/11/2012 20:17

OP stay safe. Call Women's Aid as soon as you can. Police on 999 if he is violent tonight. Stay safe.

MrsDeVere · 30/11/2012 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 30/11/2012 20:18

Women's Aid OP. Please please talk to them!

You must get out of there as a soon as you can! No marriage or job is worth this half life you are living!!

tadjennyp · 30/11/2012 20:18

Then you need to go to the police. If you have bruises they can be documented. In fact take pictures of the bruises when they come out and send them to a friend.

SoldeInvierno · 30/11/2012 20:19

OP , you are not alone on this. Women's Aid and the police seen 1000's of cases every year of women in your situation. Don't wait for it to get worse. Call someone and get help. They will believe you and help you.

skatebauble · 30/11/2012 20:22

Please get out op. Asap.
If not for your sake, for your dc.

LaCiccolina · 30/11/2012 20:22

Hang on a minute! Ur bright and u are plausible! How Fi I know? U have just written four pages of posts and have many women answering you and believing you.

You have another here. This is no way to live my dear. It's one thing when things creep up and change but once u notice, I mean really see what's happening as u do clearly do now, can u tell us u can ignore it for the rest of ur life?

Please babe, do as the others urge. U wouldn't let a friend go thru this would u? So why r u? Please....?

Chopstheduck · 30/11/2012 20:23

Do talk to women's aid. The number won't show up on your phone bill. They won't try to coerce you not anything you aren't ready to do, but can offer your device on your situation.

He sounds a nightmare. I know what it is like to be in your kind of situation, where everyone else things he is charming and don't see the other side of it.

StanleyLambchop · 30/11/2012 20:26

the odd slap or kick

Enough already, get out of there!!!

gordyslovesheep · 30/11/2012 20:27

another vote for Women's Aid

set yourself free of this utter bastard - you are your kids deserve better x

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 30/11/2012 20:43

Hello OP
Do let us know if would you like us to move this thread to relationships, won't you?

Original poster
sosotiredagain123 · 30/11/2012 20:44

Where ever you think is best sorry to post in the wrong place

OP posts:
DrCoconut · 30/11/2012 20:59

My ex kept telling me to "f" off if I didn't like his increasingy bizarre and controlling behaviour. One day I oblliged and never went back. Sounds like you need to consider the same. This sort of thing does not usually improve.