Husband won't let my family visit

[sosotiredagain123]

DH has for the 2nd time in three months refused to let my parents visit they live over 200 miles away and I have not seen them since July but he wants quiet weekends

[3littlefrogs]

Wow. Lots of red flags waving here.

He sounds deeply unpleasant, bullying, controlling.

How long have you been married and how many DC do you have?

I find it very worrying that he won't let you visit your parents.

Are there cultural issues at play here?

[NotQuintAtAllOhNo]

Do you have access to money? Your own savings?
He sounds horrid.

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

He won't let you visit your own parents?

Unless there is something seriously wrong with your parents and he has a valid reason for not wanting his children around them, you need to get away from him.

[sosotiredagain123]

I am drained by him it is constant walking on egg shells waiting for the next criticism

[sosotiredagain123]

2 DC

[Iggly]

YANBU

This is a slippery slope. Consider your options.

[pictish]

You are married to a tyrant.

I think you need to speak to Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 ASAP.

You are being abused and controlled OP.

[WelshMaenad]

Has he always been like this?

[sosotiredagain123]

He says he will keep the children and I can go I can not risk that I have saved some money

[SecretCervix]

Is he actually going to physically restrain you if you try to go? He sounds a complete horror.

[JustFabulous]

He bans you from having your parents to stay.
He treats you like a child by putting a lock on the computer.
He threatens to decrease your "house keeping."
He swears at you in front of your children.
Tells you you can fuck off if you don't like it.

He is awful and seriously, get out just get the fuck out as he is a controlling bastard who sees you as nothing.

Also stop washing his clothes, cooking his dinner and servicing him in the bedroom. That sounds awful but tbh it sounds like it is probably accurate reading how he treats you.

[3littlefrogs]

Has he always been like this? Is this change sudden or gradual?

[pictish]

Women's Aid will help you practically, and enotionally - please call them. xxx

[Kalisi]

Woah! Op this is not normal and it sounds like there is a hell of a lot more going on here. Your husband sounds like a controlling arsehole and there are flags of an abusive relationship raising. Maybe move this to relationships so you can get some advice on leaving the bastard?

[JustFabulous]

Humour him. Ask him how he is going to look after the children and work full time.

[ImperialBlether]

I would be on my way out of the door, personally.

What's your relationship like with your parents? Would you be welcome to stay there? I can't tell you how fast I'd drive to pick up my daughter in that situation.

And btw, do his parents visit or are you expected to visit them? I'm not surprised they're horrible - it sounds as though the acorn didn't drop far from the tree there.

[sosotiredagain123]

he will manage apparently

[fuzzywuzzy]

he can say what he likes about keepingthe children, the law says otherrwise. Go consult CAB.

Do your family know what he's like? Have you friends close by?

Call womens aid for advice.

[3littlefrogs]

This is not normal behaviour by any standards.

How are you treated by his family?

[sosotiredagain123]

we visit them and they visit they are rude and very demanding

[pictish]

Just as their son is too.

So his parents are in, but yours are out?

He is rotten to the core.

[TerraNotSoFirma]

Can you use the money you have saved, take the children and get to your parents.
Whatever you do, get the hell out of there, away from him.
Your situation sounds awful.

Have you any support? Or does he not 'let' you have friends?

[sosotiredagain123]

I was planning to just take the children to my parents for Christmas and call his bluff if he doesn't want us back probably for the best thought I am very scared

[Meglet]

If you work PT do all the childcare and chores he wouldn't have a snowballs hope in hell of getting the children.

Call Womens Aid. Bullies don't change.

[3littlefrogs]

Sotiredagain - sorry to ask this, was this an arranged marriage? You don't have to say if you don't want to but this sounds depressingly familiar to me.

You need to get advice from WomensAid.