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Original poster

New boyfriend's Ex wants to be friends with me on FB.

51 replies

botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:23

Is this a bit odd?
They split last September, no kids, but still friends who occasionally meet up for coffee, and keep in touch through text and FB.
He ended the relationship.
I met her very briefly once on a night out, just introduced and that was it. We have been together since April, and things are going well. Now, I don't really understand why she wants to friend me, but won't I look like I have ishoos with her if I don't accept her request? Haven't mentioned it to BF yet, seeing him later.

OP posts:
whatkungfuthat · 01/10/2012 16:27

She may just be one of those people with 800+ facebook friends but it seems odd to me. I wouldn't accept if I were you, she probably wants to keep tabs on you both.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/10/2012 16:28

Oh dear no.

NervousAt20 · 01/10/2012 16:28

I wouldn't accept either

Happylander · 01/10/2012 16:29

Hmm not sure. She could be someone that just friend requests everyone she meets. She could like you and feel that as their is nothing between her and your boyfriend now but friendship then it wouldn't be a problem. My last boyfriends ex friend requested me after meeting once and I never even thought it a problem tbh. I am also friends with another ex's girlfriend on facebook. It depends on how and why their relationship ended really.

Sorry that's not much help.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/10/2012 16:30

Today FB friend. Tomorrow..... rabbit simmering on the AGA ..... brr!!!!

Original poster
botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:31

Thanks what! Glad it's not just me that thinks it's a bit odd. I am quite particular about who I friend, but ,yes, maybe she is one of those that has millions of friends. By the way, we are all in our late thirties, thought that may be relevent.

OP posts:
usualsuspect3 · 01/10/2012 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:33

Thanks cognito!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:34

Won't I look like the jealous new girlfriend if i don't though??

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 01/10/2012 16:35

Block her and never think about her again. Who cares what she thinks? You aren't her friend, don't want to be her friend and don't have any kind of relationship with her. You don't owe her a facebook friendship. She is a stranger to you.

cookielove · 01/10/2012 16:36

It's a definite NO from me!!

This happened to me in the reverse, i was the ex and she was his current girlfriend and my new stalker each of her million request were ignored or denied Hmm

Some people are just odd though!!

Original poster
botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:36

I should just ask him what he thinks, shouldn't I???

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 01/10/2012 16:37

I'm friend's with an ex's exdw but we never mention him. She lives in TX as does he. The only time she mentioned him recently was to tell me he'd told her I could have his new phone number if want Hmm Oh how we LOLed Grin

But he's an ex, totally different. I wouldn't in this case. Bit odd tbh?

usualsuspect3 · 01/10/2012 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/10/2012 16:38

Of course not. I'm sure there are some happy clappy societies where ex partners all gather together for rum punch and share anecdotes with their predecessors and successors, but in the real world some things are best left private. 'Still friends' is so often code for 'I wish we were back together'.

CuriousMama · 01/10/2012 16:38

I'd mention it casually. Like ' oh exgf has asked to add me on FB but I don't really add acquaintances I hope she won't be offended if I don't add her?' And see what he says?

Original poster
botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:38

Provincial lady, you are soo right! I am not really likely to see her anytime soon, so I could just block, and forget about her!

OP posts:
lynniep · 01/10/2012 16:41

wierd stalky nutter. no no no.

porcamiseria · 01/10/2012 16:41

what ususal said! she wants to spy on u

Original poster
botandhothered · 01/10/2012 16:42

Thank you all so much for you advice. I think I will do that curiousmama, and then block!!!!

OP posts:
Daisym0use · 01/10/2012 16:45

My exes new girlfriend sent me a friend request and the profile picture was one of her and my ex and they looked like they were naked! Really wierd, needless to say it was NO from me! I have no time for my ex or his GF as am I have no desire to have anything to do with them. However my DH's ex is a lovely girl and I would have no problem beimg friends with her on FB so I guess it just depends on the person. Go with you're gut feeling i'd say

LST · 01/10/2012 16:46

I'm friends with one of my dp's exes. She's really nice.

LST · 01/10/2012 16:46

In fact 2!

Emandlu · 01/10/2012 16:46

I'd be tempted to accept her on a limited profile to see what she wanted and then block her later.

PeppermintPasty · 01/10/2012 16:47

Another vote for stalker. I've grown a thick(er) skin with FB. I live in a small village and loads of people I am acquainted with (ie a nod and possibly a hello) ask to be friends on FB. It does weird things to people. I mean just because I live within a mile or two of you you think we are friends!! WEIRD!!

I even get friend requests from people in the next village (shock horror!) who see me on a friend's page and make a request. That is seriously odd, (even allowing for the fact that I am utterly fabulous and this must be the real reason why they want to be friends Wink )

Just block and forget. She is a loon.