Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 7

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

I did that then. I reported him and fuck all happened to though there was witness statements from 3 different people saying he had bragged about it too them.

I won't talk to anyone now after the experience with the police.

SP rape crisis are good give them a try it is totally confidential, I was called all the liars under the sun the first time I told someone and slapped across the face as well.

I don't think I could talk to anyone. The police experience has made me deal with it alone for the past 6 year.

It just seems like part of me now.

one day you might be ready just keep it in mind took me until I was almost 41 ((hugs)) x

It will always be part of you but talking about it lessons the pain eventually

I just hope it goes away. I hope my memory is swiped miraculously one night and I never remember it again.

I was like that before councelling, I had a breakdown because I didn't want to acknowledge it. My abuser was a thug basically and repeatedly released by the courts. I felt I'd never be believed and I'd always be blamed. I just don't trust the system to do what it says it does.

I have had to have councelling, I still don't trust anyone but the flashbacks aren't there anymore. It doesn't take it away but makes it easier. Understanding that society is a bit shit sometimes helps.

I've fixed t'phone :)

Dotty, would he change nights just whilst you're receiving councelling?

Its his only day off Natural I'll just keep a calm tongue.

I never felt believed and that's why I don't want to speak to anyone incase they don't believe me either. I thought after 6 year it would just faded into a bad memory

Morning all. I'm back!

Had a lovely time away with the inlaws, although FIL does really really get on my nerves. But MIL more than made up for it by getting up with DS every morning and letting us sleep in and by keeping him occupied most of the day so we got a good rest. She must be entirely wrecked now, she was up most mornings at around 6 and then spent the day chasing a very very active DS while also plying us with cups of tea and crazy amounts of food. She does annoy me at times but really she's a good soul. FIL on the other hand is a waste of space and I'm sorry for her that she has to live with him. This is the same guy who does nothing all day then claimed DH was doing too much the last time he visited us because DH actually does his fair share rather than sitting on his arse like FIL.

I'm just in the process of catching up with posts. How is everyone?

Morning Cailin she sounds lovely very much like step-mil although in our case she and fil are amazing.

MIL and I have had a somewhat rocky relationship but it's improved a lot since DS came along largely I think because I have softened a lot since seeing how good she is with him. I was a bit hard on her before. FIL on the other hand just annoys me more.

Morning all

Welcome back Cailin, I'm glad you had a relaxing time, your MIL sounds lovely, shame FIL isn't the same!

SPs, you may not be ready to talk about it yet, it does take time, I'm 15years on and only just feel ready now, it's hard, but I actually want it out, all of it, every detail, it's a strange feeling, but I'm going with it. I'm so sorry the Police were no help, they weren't with me either. It makes me so angry at the legal system and society in general.. who would make this stuff up, why isn't there more awareness/ understanding.

Chips, my bitter sarcastic reply to that would be society likes to fuck kids, literally and metaphorically.

Cailin, welcome back, glad you had a good relaxing time, your mil sounds lovely, I'd look after her, my exmil did sfa with mine and complained if I asked. I need to take a break, my barriers are down, I feel really bitter. If you read in the news someone has buried their mother under the patio that'll be me.

And breathe.

Natural take care of yourself don't let her walk over you your better than her. Taking a breather kitchen is sparkling all appliances have been pulled out and cupboards cleaned [why we got gloss white units is beyond me] wonder if it will be clean when I come home off holiday whole house is done more or less now was hoping to do windows but never mind.

Want a hug Natural?

You know, she'd sit under that patio going "I told everyone she was a nutter, look, proved me right"

I fucking well and truly despise her and could gouge her eyes out with a spoon but that'd just give her ammo. I can't do anything, she makes me sick and my skin crawl. I need to not be this pathetic arrrrggghhhh.

Thanks for the hugs, I'm going to go and do pwretty things. Ds has a gig this weekend so will concentrate on that.

Has she/stuff gone yet

Just been round to have cake and lunch in my friend's house, all packed up waiting for the movers :( will really miss seeing their girls growing up, it's so sad for us being left behind, I love the whole family! they have said we can camp in their garden if we come to visit sometime and they can do the same at our house but I just worry this will be the last we see of them I'm not great at keeping in touch. I always feel like I ruin things by saying the wrong thing and I worry about being overly emotional so I just hide away and don't speak... have said we will write.

Offred a good friend of mine moved back home when DD2 was nearly 3 she's now 16 and we still see each other at least once a year she's only been back up once as she doesn't drive but I try to visit even for an hour or 2 if I'm down been neglectful this year as been past her area about 4 times but not in the right place to visit her.

I have been through that so many times Offred although it was always me doing the moving. I've managed to keep in touch with a good few people down through the years, although it isn't the same. It's really hard to let go of a good friend, they're a precious thing :(

I keep thinking I'd rather it was us moving, I love starting again somewhere new but it is very sad being left behind. My children are going to be so sad, they've known each other all their lives. They were my only visitors after I had the twins and we visited their youngest in the hospital when she was born, ds says their big one is his gf and they play together every afternoon after school. Will miss them a lot but am happy for them moving near to their gran and granddad and uncle and cousins and having such an exciting adventure... But it feels like the straw that broke the camel's back right now

Evening all bit bored tonight but been upset at yet another thread on this subject in chat poor woman

Was informed by DS this afternoon thar he ants rainbow cake for going on holiday already have his birthday cake to make seems I'll be busy on Friday.