Dating thread 15! cock-cages, hopeful pensioners the occasional glorious success!

[Snapespeare]

apologies for title, I am bereft of ideas as the sodding times 'kindly' edited my profile for me.

this is war!

Like it! Marking my place - with my geriatric ward of admirers!

so - go on then snape - spill.
how are you a genius? and how can they do that to your profile?

my tomorrows date... well, i asked for a pic, to remind me, he took it down ages ago. he said was a double checking he was ok. of course i denied and said i didnt want to be squintinly staring at men trying to work out if it was him.
he said ' i oly have naked pics of my phone, if you give me your email ill forward one. Well the squinty eyed looking at random people would be more fun for me but if you want a pic to make it easier then you'll have to decide whether I was being serious about the naked pics or not before telling me your email, or Facebook stalk me (his name)

grrr. annoying.

ive told him ive stalked him and found him ( i think??) but that im taking the bait and want a pic.
( i dont for a second belive its naked, he doesnt seem that sort)

Started another thread - will get it deleted.

shit.shit. shit

he sent the pic. Its not good.
In fact its terribly awful and looks nothing like the one he had up.
It also doesnt look much like his fb pic.

i do not fancy him.

But its so bad, i dont know if i should say something, because he thinks hes being funny? or just say nothng?

because if he looks like that, then i really do not want to go on the date AT ALL.
5'6 and good looking is ok. 5'6 and not good looking isnt.

HELP!

Oh no!!!!! Are you sure he is not having a laugh with you?

I (genius!) re-jigged my profile, starting seemingly random words with capital letters, painstakingly spelling out my dating email address.

10 minutes later got an email from 'them' (EVIL!) stating policy violations etc. This has, of course just increased my ire and made me DETERMINED to find a way around it.

watch - only has naked pics on his phone. yeah, as you do. you've called his bluff tho, he'll be off to the gents to shove his iphone down his pants...

watch shit! last minute emergency ill-child? (they have some uses)

hmm. i replied, ( post pic seeing)
what - its not naked!!!

and he came back with ' sorry, didnt mean to piss you off, im not into naked pics'

andi was all ' no, i was joking'

hes sending me another ' old' one.
ill see what that is like and then dump. ho hum

ah no. its just come in. Tbh it looks like a school age pic. and hes half naked and he really shouldnt be.

oh, for goodness sake.

now what do i do?

I would say, "In light of your most recent pic looking nothing at all like the pics you have previously shown, I will not be in attendance for tomorrows date. On this occasion I will refrain from taking legal action against you for misrepresentation. Kind regards. Watch."

You could go along for a laugh and the chance of bumping into Johnny Depp but make it clear you won't be going for a second date. A Just Friends date.

time

'...however, your details have been entered into our database and any further attempts at misrepresentation shall result in your details being circulated to our members.'

ive said ' i have to say, you look quite different to your original profile pic'

and now i feel like a cow.

im not some super model myself. but come on. Time and snape - PM me your email address and ill send it to you. tell me if im being horrible.

if i pm you my email address it will have to be in alpha numeric code to thwart the all encompassing powahs of the times dating website

Gah, what a nightmare. His profile photo was probably one from 10 years ago and is the best pic he has ever had taken!!!!!
If you think there is no chance you'll fancy him, then bin. Not sure whether it is kinder to do it now, or have a child emergency a couple of hours before the date.

snape - that is genius. and time consuming :)
and ggggrrrr to them.

Do The Times think they are speshal or somat? huh?

watch just no. looks like a creepy bank manager.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Nerd alert! No no no no no!!

NO!!!

I think we are agreed. you CAN'T DO IT!

Your profile on the Times site is probably being monitored especially, since Rupert Murdoch himself is interested in your body (and mind)

i know. i cant. its awful.
I sat looking at it with my jaw on the floor. totally.
he looks NOTHING like his original pic.

i shall fein illness this evening.
and not mention rearranging.

The Times has hacked me. I am a victim! I shall go to my MP!

....and i do tend to attract the attentions of the elderly gentleman. I could be Rupes love-slave

Snape, I think you should go to the Robert Jay QC in the Leveson enquiry. He is quite twinkly!