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Original poster

My boyfriend and I argued and he walked out, but my period is late.

34 replies

5mins · 16/10/2011 11:28

I'm totally stressed. My boyfriend and I had an argument last Sunday and he walked out saying that he had enough. I have been calling him all week but have had no response to either say he needs space, it's over or anything. I don't know where I stand. I'm pretty sure that he will contact me again once he has calmed down - do men confirm the break up? or do they just ignore you and silence is the confirmation?

Anyway, my period was due a few days ago, it's usually like clockwork but it's late. I've not taken a test yet as i'm hoping the delay is just stress but i have many of symptoms and am shitting myself. I don't know what to do. Do I contact him again? I cannot tell anyone.

OP posts:
fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 16/10/2011 11:32

The first thing to do is buy a test. Your period could be late because of stress. Were you trying to get pregnant or using contraception? And what were you arguing about? If someone can walk out of your house and not contact you for a week, well, I'd not want to be with someone who could do that. But the first thing you need to do is buy a test, there's no point guessing.

Kayano · 16/10/2011 11:32

Firstly take a test and find out either way.
You don't want to go in 'I might be pregnant' because then if you are not he might see that as you trying to trick him into gettig in contact again

I know you are not btw but some men are funny like that.

If you are let him know
If not, I would maybe give him one more text and leave it at that. Balls in his court then Sad

Sorry this has happened

izzywhizzysfritenite · 16/10/2011 11:34

How long have you been together? Did he take all his gear or has left some of his belongings behind?

Before you do anything else, go get a pregnancy test - and use it.

Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 11:43

I took a test 4 days ago and it was negative. I was relieved and thought that I could just move on but now my period is actually late i'm totally freaking out.

We had talked about having a baby but this would certainly not be called a planned pregnancy.

The argument was actually a misunderstanding that got out of hand but basically he thought i was calling him a liar and didn't trust him. I had said a few things to a friend of his that in hindsight, i should not have said. He is a very private person and added to which the conversation was about an ex and we had agreed that I would never bring it up again. He got annoyed, i was then pissed of that he got annoyed and the whole thing escalated.He was so mad and i was too that we said things in anger.

I'm now wondering that if I had just backed off and let him calm down he would have just got back to me but I called everyday for 6 days and had to stop as I was beginning to feel like a stalker - I just wanted to know where we stood.

Anyway, I didn't want to mention the late period to him because i didn't want him to think that I was being a drama queen and trying to manipulate him.

OP posts:
TheOriginalFAB · 16/10/2011 11:48

Have you apologised yet?

Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 11:48

He left some of his things - to be honest i think he was leaving so that it wouldn't escalate but i wouldn't let him go! So, then things got worse. We don't live together and so it was easy for him to walk out.

I will go and get another test today. I'm really hope the delay is due to stress.

OP posts:
Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 11:49

I have apologised every day for 5 days in a row but email, sms and phone!!

OP posts:
TheOriginalFAB · 16/10/2011 11:50

Then leave him alone for a bit,

If you are pregnant, let him know and then leave it.

izzywhizzysfritenite · 16/10/2011 12:07

As FAB has said, leave him alone (and they usually come home wagging their tales behind them).

If you are pregnant don't rush to tell him; give it a few weeks to see if he gets in touch with you otherwise he may think you're lying and stay away longer.

Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 12:22

I've actually just done another test and it's neg. I'm not sure if drinking lots of liquid and taking it in mid day will make that much difference. I hope not!!

I've backed off since Friday morning. I hope he does come back but i certainly don't want to to be because i'm pregnant.

OP posts:
Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 12:33

thank you all for the advice :)

OP posts:
HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 16/10/2011 12:54

You've taken 2 tests. They are both negative. Leave it a week and take another one just to be sure, but I think you should assume that you aren't pregnant.

You seem to really want to tell him this, when you have nothing to tell him, not reallly. Are you wanting to tell him about the late period in an attempt to open communications? Because that would be a mistake.

Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 13:07

No, it's the opposite. I want to move forward (i've already spent a week stewing over it) and if he gets in touch he does. I've just been stressed about the period because my cycle usually goes like clockwork and i would not want a delayed period or pregnancy to be the reason he comes back. If he needs space to think or it's over, i would rather let that be.

OP posts:
Bogeymanface · 16/10/2011 13:13

Now you know you arent pg you can focus on how you feel about a man who can bugger off for a week to sulk, leaving you in limbo. We all need space, but not replying to you even to say that you are through, is shitty in the extreme and if he did come back then I for one would be saying that he neednt bother, as I want a man in my life not a stroppy kid!

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 16/10/2011 13:14

Good. Glad I'm wrong. It's hard to tell tone etc on here sometimes. It sort of came across like you were really wanting to tell him, to get him talking, to draw him back. I'm pleased for you that I read it wrong, because it wouldn't have been a good situation for you.

Re your period - If I said "Don't be stressed" you would laugh in my face Grin but it's true. The more worried about it you are, the more likely it is to be late.

If you have white trousers, start wearing them. I find nothing brings a period on faster than white trousers Wink

CantBelieveImAskingThis · 16/10/2011 13:27

I'd be tempted to send him one last message, although tbh this would have been my only message as I can't abide sulkers who give the silent treatment and I refuse to pander to them..,

"I'm sorry we argued and for the things I said, and I'm sorry you're still annoyed at me. I take it from your silence that this seems to be the end of things between us but I understand and I will leave you alone from now on".

It's the best thing you can do to moody sulky people, deny him the attention his silence is receiving.

Original poster
5mins · 16/10/2011 13:47

I'm not sending him any more grovelling notes, i've sent enough already and tbh there are bigger things that happen in relationships and in life. He was scared that I was going to ask him to leave and so he walked. If i had ignored early past week he probably would have come back but my persistent apologies have made it seem bigger than it is. I gave him too much attention.

As far as being pg - i really hope i'm not but sadly am too big to get into my white trousers.

I sent the email saying sorry and saying to let me know if it's over - he's not replied! I think i've apologised beyond humiliation! :)

He is being a childish prick and is trying to punish me at the least and at the most does not have the decency to say it's over.

Why do men just run when talking would resolve things???

OP posts:
buzzskeleton · 16/10/2011 14:21

God yes, stop contacting him. 5 days of apologising, fuck that. If he comes back, it's more than his turn to do the grovelling. Time to shut that door.

DroveABroomstick · 16/10/2011 14:34

5days of appologizing , is 4 days too long IMO. You've just mde yourself look desperate. Now the bloke will milk it for all it's worth.

Walk away and find someone better , Wine Flowers

FabbyChic · 16/10/2011 14:50

You aren't pregnant. It's the stress.

Original poster
5mins · 17/10/2011 08:59

The sad thing is I love him. I don't think I even realised it myself until all this happened. What is a reasonable time to wait for him to calm down? I can't stay in limbo forever, it's been one week.

OP posts:
DroveABroomstick · 17/10/2011 09:06

5mins , let him go ...look bottom line is if he loves you back he will be back of his own accord. If you beg and plead with him he might come back , but you'll never know if it was because you made yourself the easy option.

Give it a month . If he's not been in touch by then ,I'd lose intreats in him.

Original poster
5mins · 17/10/2011 09:13

Thanks Broomstick - by the time a month has passed i'm sure i will feel differently anyway. I was hoping two weeks! :)

I just want to know one way or the other so I can move on but i'm guessing he is trying to work things out himself. I've stopped contacting him now but this waiting game feel like torture :(

I know men retreat when things go wrong, but i've never experienced the silent treatment like this before.

OP posts:
Original poster
5mins · 17/10/2011 09:16

I also want my things that are at his flat and I have a load of his stuff that is here. I guess i'm just not good at this whole waiting thing.

OP posts:
DroveABroomstick · 17/10/2011 09:34

Well i said a month because your missing a period. You should know one way or another by then .

In normal I'd have said two weeks.

For your stuff ...I'd just txt him you really need it and could he drop it off ? , that way if he's wanting his back he will say then , if he doesn't want it , the he's either wanting to come back to you or not bothered about things.