The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome.

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

Ma - you know that no matter what you have a seat on the bus, right? Night or day.

I know you are going through shitsville right now. I wish I could help you. Be Brave Babe xx

Night nomorenomore. I am glad that tonight has been better for you x

Thanks Silver.
I fell off the bus a few months ago. Got a bit stuck under the wheels :(

gingerwig - you got out from under the wheels. You are strong enough to get back on the bus and we are here for you. xx

mouse, you are wise and kind. Thank you x

Well, I've had a drink tonight (I knew I would - always do when hungover) but it's been a nice, quiet, civilised drink at a friends, where I haven't shown myself or anyone else up.

Just wish I could be sensible like that all the time :(

Thank you gingerwig xx

tene - who is to say that one day you might not be like this all the time? Why worry?

You did tonight. You did great. Move forward from that. Just see what happens but take your time. You'll get there no matter what. A day, an hour or minute at a time.

You CAN do it xx

Off to bed. Sleep well Brave Babes xxxx

Morning to all - hope that those who were out dancing the night away (aka JWN) have nothing worse than sore feet to deal with this morning

Hi to nomore and gingerwig, nice to see you again ginger, and welcome back on the bus. I have spent so many years doing what you are doing - trying and slipping, trying and slipping - there is no shame in that. It only becomes sad if you cease to WANT to try, and don't want to remember any of the places where you might talk about what is going on, and maybe get some help.

Embracing, you ask about your Christmas do - well you have many choices: you could go and have a horrid time, get smashed and have a worse time; or you could stay at home, feeling bad about yourself, get smashed on your own and have a horrid time. Not much difference between those two in terms of how you feel emotionally and physically the next day, pretty crap on both fronts, and a waste on money too. Swings and roundabouts really.

Or you could choose and select from as many tactics and strategies as you can find on here or think up, or borrow from other people, and you could get yourself out there, find ONE person who will be sober (the driver, the pregnant friend) stick with them, stick with a selection of non-alcoholic drinks, laugh at the others as they get drunk and become argumentative, and stupid and thank your lucky stars that tonight that is NOT you. Then go home, and know that you can have a night out without booze - may not have been the best fun (Christmas parties often aren't), you may not have dazzled the world with your wit and humour but the world will be too busy nursing a hangover and wondering what on earth they did, but you will be able to go to bed with pride in yourself.

Or you could apply those strstegies in an alternative way - get a friend to come over - one who will not need to get smashed, have a good old gossip, make christmas decorations, have a hand massage or a makeover. Anything. But do have a contented and sober evening, and feel good about yourself.

What I am trying to say (in my longwinded way) is the choice is not reallly about whether you go to the 'do' or not. The choice is how you stay sober for that one evening.

morning!!, no sore feet or anything else here! - i had a lovley time, danced, chatted and laughed till my ribs hurt!, honestly, i never knew you could have so much fun while sober and dressed!

embracing, i agree with everything venus said!

ginger!! , nice to have you back!

today im going to a craft fair, an AA friend has a stall for the first time - im wondering if finding a 'craft' is a something everyone does when they get sober?, i have baked and sewed and preserved like never before! , , perhaps the WI is a secret society for ex drunks!

Fantastic advice as ever Venus. I think this week is the start of Christmas 'jollity' for lots of us - it was actually my first thought when I woke up this morning. I will be out every evening this week, not all parties etc, but probably will be offered a drink at every occaision. I have a plan for the work party (driving) but have to devise one for the others where I will be travelling by train or walking locally. I think I will look back to MIFLAW's advice to JWN at her first social occaision, which if I remember correctly involves immediately grabbing a glass of soft drink and never letting go of it.
Embracing I think venus is right - there is the danger that if we try to lock ourselves away from the Xmas events the 'poor me' feeling may well kick in and lead to us drinking too much anyway. Stay strong Babes.

I LOVE the idea of the WI being being a secrect society for ex drunks - will look at those village ladies in a totally different light now!

hi bb!

miflaw was absolutly spot on!, i do it almost automatically now - go in, when offered grab the glass, NEVER PUT IT DOWN!, NEVER LET IT EMPTY!, works a treat!, thats generally a work do strategy for me - because i have told all my friends and family, when we are with them its not an issue, i have found everyone to be so kind, i have been to dinner partys/partys/girls nights etc and EVERY time the host has made a conscious effort to find me an interesting soft drink.

the funny thing is, i have noticed that it is now becoming fashionable to be sober! , my industry is traditionally very boozy but the 'new' people seem to want to work with a clear head! , who'da fort it!

Morning Brave Babes.

Wasindie - lovely to see you. Hope your girls are all ok. xx

I'm off to my parents today to do the Big ChristMouse Swap. All the family arrive at their house, swap presents whilst Grandad entertains the DCs and then carry on with the day!

I used to have to wait until DD was in bed before I could unload the car. This year is different as DD no longer believes in Father ChristMouse and Nemo is still too little.

Thing is.......... I believe in Father ChristMouse. I believe in the 'fable' or 'myth'. That there was once a kind, selfless man who would give children gifts on ChristMouse Eve/Day.

So when DD said she didn't believe anymore, I was crushed.

No more fairy dust sprinkled over the harth, no more boot prints in the soot (DH had that job), no more little gifts leading from her room to the fire place.

Well, not until next year when Nemo is old enough!!!

Funny, I never got wasted on ChristMouse Eve, or Day. Those two days are ones that I always wanted to remember with as much clarity as possible.

Anyway, enough of my waffle. Be Brave Babes.

Back tonight xx

morning wasindi!! - my only plan for you this christmas would be this - the DTS, have NO IDEA its christmas, dont spend money you havent got making christmas 'perfect'!ime,the 'perfect' christmas does not exist, it a a myth sold by advertisers and to try and create one will only end in heartache and disappointment! as to presents, the best treat you could give dp is a sober you! i know you are a very intelligent woman but sometimes i think that can count for nothing when we look at our children and want the world for them!, i know when dd was a baby i over compensated for the fact her father had left us - all she needed was to be warm and fed and loved!

have a lovley day mouse!

btw, i have to admit, christmas has lost a certain magic since dd knew father chrismas was a story!

Morning All

Hope everyone had aggod evening, JWN glad you managed to shake your bootie last night, I can't manage to do that sober with 5in heals, however that makes me about 6 4" so doesn't happen often.

Glad to see you back indie, I agree with jwn, don't go overboard this year on the pressies, there is absolutely no point!. DS first christmas, I rewrapped DD's old toys, she opened them anyway.

Well, after a very low day yesterday, I amgoing to get my ass in gear, Christmas still needs to be great for the kids, so up and showered and heading off to my mum's to do some christmas shopping!! she is coming with me, to enusre that I keep my pecker up, as there is the possiblility of me wandering round the shops silently sobbing to myself - so that is not going to happen!!!! I demand it of myself!!

Wise words again from venus as always

OK BB's have a good day, TODAY I am not drinking. DAY 12

xx

MOrning brave babes

Not too much to add in that I'm feeling a bit fed up today, probably why I have agreed to meet abusive XP for a drink at lunchtime, stupid stupid stupid I know. As dramatic as it sounds i feel as though I have met someone (NG) who could be Mr Perfect only to find out he is really Mr full of baggage your bound to get hurt.

Anyway enough self pitying.

Welcome Ginger

Good on you Bafana for getting out and about when you feel crap

zany!, cancel!!!, tell him anything, you're ill, broken your leg, the cats dead, anything!!!, dont set yourself up for a miserable day!, thats just palin daft! as to NG, could be he has learnt a strong lesson!

'plain daft' - michael has nothing to do with this!

I have no intention of every gatting back with him but I do think it will help me to mov on to hear him admit how awful he was to me. I have set a time limit and I am going to my best friends house for dinner afterwards. Will all end in tears no doubt - why do I keep punishing myself?