brave battling babes get even better without the booze!

[jesuswhatnext]

10 weeks ago i started a thread asking for help - i was in a very desperate place, totally dependent on alchohol, unhappy, lonely and floundering around trying to make sense of it all. i was in danger of losing everything i hold dear.

in those few short weeks, i have got my life back and picked up a few computer friends along the way - we help each other, support each other, and laugh and cry together - if you would like to join us, please feel free - no judging, preaching, sermonising or moralising - we are simply ordinary people with a bloody awful illness!

Hello, I'm Mouse.

I'm 6 full days sober, this is day 7. Which is amazing for me! This time last week, I was clock watching, waiting for the witching hour, aka drink o'clock.

Well, thanks to JWN and the support of the other wonderful Babes, here I am. Clear headed and feeling bloody marvellous!!

Hello, I'm 6 days sober (like Mouse) and basically agree with every word in her post. If you had told me last week I would be here I wouldn't have believed it. But I'm glad I am, thanks to the computer fairies! :)

mouse - please could you do the links??

For those who are joining the journey here, the first three threads are below if you'd like to see the amazing progess made by the Babes so far!!

First thread here

Second thread here

Third thread here

Happy reading.

Hello, I'm venus and I've been on this thread for several weeks. I have not had a drink, bur god it has been a struggle at times.

It feels like there are 3 things going on for me - the normal challenge of changing any habit; the physical challenge of not having alcohol; and the mental challenge of doing without a prop which had helped to dull some of my emotional responses. The support on here has been fantastic and has helped me through some terrific wobbles.

The consequence has been all good. I sleep better (after a disturbed start), I feel better - more energetic and motivated, my skin looks better - not bloated and puffy, and I don't wake up feeling crap, dreading another hangover.

However unlike some of the others on here, I still have not become an exercise freak, nor do I have any desire to do housework! Reminds me of a joke about the man who wrote to Tampax compalining that he'd been using their products for 6 months and still couldn't swim, ride a bike or play tennis . That will only make sense to anyone old enough to remember the adverts in the Jackie magazine

That would be me then venus!!!

Hello MissP reporting in on shiny new thread. I decided to give up alcohol on my 40th birthday... I am 45
I am hoping this time is the last time. I am a new poster but have followed the thread from the start. I am SO glad I plucked up the courage to post, everybody on here is kind supportive and nonjudgmental, this is the first time I have ever talked about my problem with alcohol. Thank you JWN and all you Brave Babes

Hi everyone, can I very shyly join you? I have been reading the threads and lurking from the beginning - not in a creepy way.

I have to start with the really awful confession. I am 23 weeks pregnant. I am not drinking a lot (beer and wine), but I am drinking more than the recommended amount and more than I want to. I have learned that one drink is absolutely no good to me - if I have one, I will want another. It was easy to not drink for the first 15 weeks or so because I felt so dreadful, especially in the evenings. Then I went to a rock festival and "needed" a few beers. There have been a couple of nights when I have definitely drunk 6-10 units and a few times where I have hidden my drinking from my husband.

I am utterly ashamed that I have put my baby at risk, and terrified by this feeling of being so unable to control it.

I know you are all lovely and unjudgemental, but I understand if you are disgusted by me because I am not only harming myself. If you do not want me on the thread, please say. I will understand.

PS Today is Day 3, this time.

Maddogs

Welcome on board the wagon!!

We've all done things that we are about and even about. No judgy pants allowed!!

Well done for posting!! And for it being day 3!

You're in good company here, I'm about to scoot off as DS is in need of his last tube feed and I need 2 hands!!

Stick around, one of the Brave Babes will be here to sit with you in a mo, I'm sure!!!

Right, Babes. Off to deal with the rest of the world!!!! Be good, be kind and sleep well!!!!

Hope you are all ok.

Be back tomorrow for daaaaaaaay 8!!!!!! Yay!!!

hello maddogs, well done for posting, and well done for 2 days sober already.

Of course you know that drinking a lot is not good for your baby, but I am certainly not in a position to be disgusted by you. I may not be drinking pregnant (I am an old bint, and would be horrified if I were pregnant) but I am here becuase I can not control my drinking and that means that I have done many things that I am terribly, terribly ashamed of. And many of those things have put other people at risk as well as myself.

No-one on here will condone the irresponsible things each of us might do when drunk, but I cannot judge you for what you have done, and I doubt you will find others here who do.

hi all

I'm on day 1 (for the third time)

Hello maddogs and welcome. You're here and want to stop for you and your baby. My dc3 is nearly 7 months old now and I was worried about drinking in pregnancy - luckily I was sick the whole way through so couldn't, otherwise who knows how I would have coped? No one will judge you on here, like venus said we have all done things we're ashamed of.

Do you think you could talk to your midwife or is that an unbearable idea?

So maddogs, it's up to you now really. Come and post on here whenever you need to and want to.

Even though you have several weeks of your pregnancy still to go, I'd suggest doing exactly the same as most of us and taking it one day at a time. So don't worry about how you're going to manage without a drink for the next 17 weeks, don't worry about what your going to do when your baby is born (do you have other dcs?). Just decide that for today you are not going to have a drink. And then maybe do the same tomorrow - when tomorrow comes.

Is that what you want to do?

Trinity

Night lovely. Been thinking of you. xx

waves to wasindie, mouse, trinity and clear-head xx

Hello, I am looking - six days sober - and found the encouragement that i needed to start - or should that be stop - again after reading the previous threads. Am very encouraged by the support and good practical advice on offer here and I am sure that anyone perhaps thinking about joining will find that too. Maddogsandenglishmen (not sure what to shorten that to) I am not sure what to advise, but am sure someone who does will be along shortly. Well done on getting to day three. The first few days are definitely the worst so on a positive, the physical symptoms will start to ease. If I have taken one thing from these posts it's to focus on not drinking a day at a time and that seems to work. I would try to keep going and not dwell on what has gone before. I find it helpful, although early days for me, just to try and keep busy and fill the day as best I can as a distraction and to break the patterns. Perhaps DH would be supportive if you confided in him?

Have you had a good day Trinity? I was with dd2 at the Edinburgh festival. We even sat outside in the sunshine and had some ice-cream sundaes.

hi all, absoluty knackered - i am home crafted out! , i have been cooking and sewing up a storm here!

a big hello to you maddogs! is this your first? what a lovely exciting time!, i too am an old bird and tbh, 18 years ago there was not quite the judgy histeria surrounding pregancy that there is now, however, you at least recognise the fact that you need to stop the booze, which is a jolly good start! the next fwe months should be a happy time for you and if we can all help we will be glad to! , we also get first dibs when it come to the new born cuddles!! (ask wasnindie - she has to explain one day where all these honerery anuties came from! )

thanks for doing the links mouse

back later!

Great advice from looking

Definitely agree re the first three days being worse physically. My dh is being amazing at helping me when I get the urge to drink - I have been distracting myself with baths, walks etc. Also planning what soft drink I am going to have from lunchtime (sad I know but before it was planning my alcohol and making sure I had enough in).

Also when it's a battle I think 'Just for today'. It helps.

Wasindie - sympathise with double baby sick attacks, your clothes don't stand a chance these next few months!

btw - to any newbies on here, contrary to how it looks, i am actually sober, i just cant spell!

Thank you so much everyone

I already have a dd who is 6 and back to kindergarten tomorrow so I have to go now and try and get her into bed (we're not in the UK as is probably obvious from that information!)

I find it so hard to focus on one day at a time and not think "right, that's it, no more drinking for the rest of my pregnancy" but I've done that so many times now and it clearly doesn't work.

I have spoken with DH, a few days ago, and he is being great - emotional support does not come naturally to him but he tries.

Thanks again. I really get lonely sometimes being abroad and it helps to know there are people, even virtual people, who understand.

venus I am in Edinburgh too

maddogs we are here for you. Where do you live? It's so hard when you're abroad. I had Dd1 when I was abroad in a wild place where drinking while pregnant was positively encouranged. I was away for 2.5 years in total and found it pretty tough. I tried to escape in all sorts of unhealthy ways, drinking topping the list!
Remember, one day at a time, that's all you need to think about

maddogs have you got any pregnancy yoga or pilates dvds, they are really nice and might take your focus off drinking. If you CAT me with your address I can send you my old ones, I have Shiva Rea