The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome.

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

Typical of you lot - barely anyone around all afternoon and as soon as I go for a kip you all pop out of the woodwork!

Top post Venus x

tena are you still around? x

B my theme is silver and blue - only because I haven't bothered to update my decorations for the last ten years - but I still like it - and loads of plain fairy lights - eveywhere xxx

Here here mouseface and therefore tonight I will not be drinking. There is nothing to be made better by getting bladdered tonight.

Life will not be better, just my head will be alot sorer.
Away to get my jammies on!

thurso maybe you might want to spend some time with dh thinking about your relationship and expectations of each other. Maybe he finds you more attractive now you are not drinking (I sat on the bus today next to someone who'd clearly been drinking and the smell was horrid), maybe you used drink as a way of enabling yourself to be intimate, maybe he doesn't understand how it feels to come somewhere in the list of priorities behind cricket (or in my case, hill walking, cycling, and bird-watching ffs!). Could be a nice project for you to work on together

sorry White that last bit was meant for you x

You are right Mouse, and I always felt so needy and vulnerable, the morning after the night before .

I do wonder if that's why Dh is getting on my nerves a bit lately, I don't feel so needy and vulnerable any more, I have done a very strong thing so far, and it does change how you look at other things in your life, I think.

I would very much like to be a bit out of it and not caring tonight, but I can so remember what the morning would be like. I suppose I have come a bit of a way, 5 and a half weeks ago, I would have had my shoes on, and been up to the shops and back by now!

Thank you babes [kiss icon]

you and me both thurso hence the reason for the early jammies.

I also have found (in many many years of repeating the experiment) that the 'drunk' that I want to feel is an illusion.

When I say I want to get pisssed, I am thinking of a delightful, enduring intoxication that exists only in my imagination. It is a wonderful, bubbly feeling of exhilaration, as if a light is glowing out of me and I am wonderful, wise and invincible.

I know that in reality I am more likely to be rough and rude, catty and mean, slovenly and slurring. I know that I keep on drinking searching for that elusive impossibility, and that as a consequence I get further and further from it.

I have tried and tried (sometimes very hard) and I have never found my delightful intoxication in a bottle. Today I have given up the struggle of searching for it in the wrong place (repeatedly) and as a consequence I feel nearer to finding it than I have been for years.

silver hope DP gets back to help release the decs from the loft so that you can get on tomorrow. Our tree will be a wee while yet but DH and DC like to decorate and I just contemplate that one day we will have a sophisticated theme! That said, it's lovely when they get out decs they made when v little and then reminisce about Nursery School.

Thurso I do think that not drinking has given me greater clarity of thought - well not having to tackle life with an on going hangover ought to free up some thinking time! While I do find some DH things more frustrating (because I am not making allowances because I feel guilty about drinking)I am enjoying re-establishing our relationship without DH worrying about my drinking and me worrying about just how awful/ridiculous/pissed I was the night before. It is a work in progress.

Thurso, God your post rang a bell. I come a sorry third to football and beer, no fourth - forgot Facebook. Football on the computer, the radio, the TV - so no-one else can watch anything...then he comes to bed and expects to get his end away after virtually ignoring me the rest of the time.
Fuck the fuck off. This is why I drink

evening!! - i know the kind of drunk i would like to be - that feeling after the 2nd glass of champagne, the room is all sparkly, im all sparkly, in fact, life is sparkly, it would be lovley!, its a fantasy of course!, the rest of the bottle of champagne would make sure of that, then of course, you could offer me a glass of lighter fuel and i would drink it! - nothing sparkly about me then i can assure you! (unless you had a match! fgrin])

zany - i just knew you would get a snog!

bafana - i do feel for you!, that horrible feeling of worthlessness in the pit of your stomach! - i tell you what though, i do know it passes! (a liitle share coming here!), when dds father walked out on us, frankly, i debased myself. i begged that man to come home, i cried and wailed and cried and begged and generally made a total fool of myself - now i thank god he did what he did, like you, this is not how i pictured my life, its a thousand times better!, i see no reason why the same shouldnt happen to you!

anyway, sorry girls, i have to get ready or dh will start yelling! - tonight im wearing a black cocktail dress with sort of swishy bits attached to it and silver sparkly 5 in heels! , and i shall be dancing!! fgrin]

fgods sake!, those little [fs are sod arnt they!

Hi everyone.

PLeased to hear you've got your dancing shoes on Jesus

Sorry to hear about you DP Bafana good on you for staying strong and staying off the drink.

Go at text back from NG saying he agrees and wants to remain friends. Can't stop thinking about him all afternoon though! :(

Hope that everyone is having a good evening - in with a favourite tv programme or out and about - and in control of your drinking whatever you are choosing to do. We're off out but it is wellies for us not dancing shoes a la JWN, and I will not be drinking.

Mouseface still fancy Matt in tonights Strictly incarnation?

BBB - I fancy Matt from X Factor.... not Strictly. Although he's cute too. In a boy next door way

oops!

But yes, I'll be watching a Matt this evening!

hi all
what's going on?
been a bit out of touch lately

Last night I got wrecked on wine. Everything hurts. I need to catch a grip

Hello Ma

Lovely to see you back again.

Hey gingerwig - how are you? Nice to have you back on the bus.

Hey Mouse
I've been lurking. I'm the stressed quivering heap on the back seat. Snowed in for a week, caring for the olds, haven't been in work, and trying not to kill DH - again!

Thanks mouse x

Hey Ma - not a lot going on at the mo! - oh apart from me having a meltdown

Hi Ginger - welcome aboard - here's your open ticket.

xx

sorry Ginger - didn't realise you's been here before xx

Hi guys
I haven't read any posts in ages so please don't think I'm being ignorant.

Unfortunately, I've drank almost a bottle of wine tonight.

Venus, I've pmd you.

Am I out of order for thinking I should not go to my Xmas do? I just think I'm going to have a shit time as usual, and it will cause me to hate myself (as usual) and drink. I'm not bothered about the money, as I've paid it and its non-refundable, so if I go or not, that money is already spent.

I just feel so shit. Wish I could have a personality transplant!