The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Christmas Party (part 1)

[TheMousefaceBeforeChristMouse]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Bus. I'm Mouseface and I used to abuse alcohol and to be honest, there is always a risk that I'll do it again.

This is a bus journey for those who drink too much, or drink now and then, not at all, or actually aren't quite sure what their drinking means to them.

Come and meet the other Brave Babes, everyone is welcome.

Here is the history so far -

Thread 15

Thread 14

Thread 13

Thread 12

Thread 11

Thread 10

Thread 9

Thread 8

Thread 7

Thread 6

Thread 5

Thread 4

Thread 3

Thread 2

JWN's original thread

Thank you x

You're welcome babe - in every way - off for a lovely afternoon nap now - if DD will leave me alone!!!! xx

Hey all

Another hellish day here unfortunately. exDP has said that he absolutely does not want to come back to me and the kids.

8 year relationship down the fucking drain. Although my drinking has been a factor, his inability to faceup to the fact that he is 38 and not 20 is even bigger, he does not want to be a family man with responsibilities and all the stuff that goes with it.

To say that I am heartbroken is truly an understatement. He has taken the kids out, and I am a sobbing mess.

However this will pass, and I am not going to let this mess up 11 days of sobriety. Not for him. I will stay sober, for me and the children.

Hope all the other BB's are having a good day.

Good for you bafana - what ever else is getting messed up by ex's behaviour, you are doing just the right thing to stay in control of what you can. 11 days - well done.

thanks venus

I hope that you are having a good weekend?

I just feel so despondent and let down, surely he should try and make it work, rather than just walking away?
My life now looks so incredibly different to the one that I had imagined. I am worried about how the hell I am going to cope financially as well if I am honest, ah well, saving a small fortune on the booze!!

Nice name venus

Am sitting at computer trying to practise the competency questions for my interview along the lines of the help you gave me. As it's so not the job I want I am finding it SO hard to keep the old motivation up. AAAAArggggggggghh....

Hello everyone else. Slept like an angel last night (no wine. Coincidence? I think not)

bafana so sorry, you must be so heartbroken. What a horrid situation. I have nothing to say but that things will slowly slowly get better, I am sure of it.

Not posted for a few days and have just caught up. Hope all posters and lurkers are OK and taking strngth from the bus ride.

Bafana So sorry that you are having to deal with such a sad situation but there is something in your post that makes me picture a strong and resiliant woman. He is definately not worth your sobriety. Sob away - it's meant to help.

tenebris how are you doing?

silver - hope you managed a nap. Do you have a colour theme for your tree or do you like lots of stuff and lights and tnsel?

Hello oops, sorry if I woke you up Silver

How did everyone get on with the Christmas shopping. The supermarket was like armageddon, anyone would think it was Christmas Eve, although the elderly chap just behind me in the queue, reckoned everyone was stocking up for the bad weather next week!!!

The twinkly mince pies went down well, and had a call fron DC1, so I was happy (for a bit).

However DH has watched football all afternoon, not said a word, and now gone out to play sport . Last night he fell asleep for ages in front of the TV, went to bed before me, but still bl*dy tried it on when I went to bed. Then, this morning he came back to bed (after watching the F*ing cricket at 6), and was all over me, (no thanks, do it to a bl*dy cricket ball). Talk about any port in a storm. Makes me feel really attractive, I can tell you!

Wine O'clock, I should bl**dy think so! Have poured a large raspberry soda (bleugh).

Rant over

bafana my life is so different from how I imagined it too. But try to think about the things that have worked. No-one is perfect. No-one ever makes all the right decisions. Just one step at a time. Life is half chance anyway.

tenebris hello.

You say you don't know why you keep doing this. Does the reason matter that much? I kept on messing up and messing up because somewhere in my mad mind, I have a problem with alcohol and when I have one drink, I just want more. And often i would just want to get smashed. Oh I could think of lots of other 'reasons' why I might have felt like having a drink on individual occasions, but none of that maters as much as the fact of how I want things to be for me today. Today I want to be clean and sober and in control. I want a life that has calm in it, not panic and upset. I want a life where I can have warm, loving relationships with other people, not one where people can't trust me and never know when I am next going to let them down. I want a life where I can plan how to spend my money, not one where I piss it away in booze.

And what has been important to me, is not endless wondering about why I am like this, or who's fault it is, or whether it is genetic, or whether it is FOREVER. What IS important to me, is all the little approaches and steps that I can take along the way, the ones that I am learning about that help to keep me from picking up the first drink.

Sorry bafana X posted.

Ignore my stupid post, so sorry for your situation. Are the children your DP's children, if so, he has no choice, he is a family man, and has to do his best for them, and for you, who he wanted to have children with.
Bah, men!

fab post venus that is exactly my mindset at the moment.

hey thurso you post is not stupid at all, yes they can be irritating pains in the butt, unfortunately I love my pain in the butt, but I cannot make him love me!

He is not the kids dad biologically, but has been in their lives since DD was 3 and DS was 1, they regard him as their dad, and adore him, and he them, makes it really hard to bare.

But - I -am- -sure- hope that there is something better for me round the corner, this will make me stronger, better, and it has made me face up to me drinking, whxih has to be a good thing.

bloody crossouts am sure

He is their dad then, don't know if biological makes any difference (can of worms here), but I think that the parents/carers who bring children up, sit by their beds when they are ill, play with them, and love them, are just as much mums and dads as any biological tie can be. (Only my opinion guys, don't shout at me)

You are a star, and don't let this set you back days, if you don't want it to. It's hard, but I bet you will deal with everything better if you are not hungover. I won't say drinking, because everything feels ok at that time!!

not drinking, I meant.

that is exactly what I think, he has done all the dad things, cleaned up sick, played and helped with homework. but you are right it is a can of worms.

Am making another pot of soup, there is something reassuring about making soup! and having a glass of pomengranate juice.

You are right, wine would make me feel better right now, but I want to have a good day tomorrow, and therefore I choose not too.

Are you having a good evening tonight, mine is now going to be xfactor and I'm a celeb with the kids, they think that xmas has come early as they have watched more tv in the last couple of weeks than they have in the last 11 months .

nomore that is exactly the way that I drink (sorry used to drink), I never start out wanting to get smashed, but that first drink/sip my head goes straight to getting as drunk as quickly as possible, I can drink two bottles of wine in as little as 1.5/2 hours

Me too , and I REALLY want right now

want to! Haven't honestly !!

Also I think I do start out wanted to get a bit pi**ed. Certainly feel like it tonight.

Right, deep breaths, it will pass.

thurso
HALT - can you work out where you are on the scale and work at it that way. Some chocolate perhaps?

I have all these little stickies on my PC that I read when Ifell like you do a the moment.

Here is one - hope it helps

Do you like who you are drunk?

Do you know who you are drunk?

Do your family like you drunk?

Can you see the the benefits of drinking over not drinking?


They help me decide not to have the first drink.

Just a quick post to say hello to you all and that no matter what life throws at you, no matter how hard it feels, it is always worse hungover.

You will never wake up utterly hungover and think, 'oh this is fun, I need to arrange access for my children to see their father' or 'I have all the housework, ironing, lunches, homework to do, yippee and I'm so hungover!' or 'that deadline is now, and I'm hungover! Yay!'

Over the top but you get my drift. Everything that you are all going through is ALWAYS much, much worse pissed or hungover.

Always.

But until you go through it sober, you won't know for sure that I am telling the truth.

Sorry that there are some of you out there tonight struggling. xx