The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Brewery!

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse and I've been on the bus for 2 months now and not fallen off it as yet. It's much more comfortable than The Wagon!

Anyway, this is thread number nine!

Everyone is welcome to join at any point of the journey, drinking or not, wanting to stop or just to cut down.

Jump on board, you won't be judged, just supported whatever you decide.

Here is the history of The Brave Babes if you want to have a read.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

If at first you don'succeed... Silver

Fingers - f**k that - absolutely everything crossed babe - all night xxxx

Mouse consider them crossed. I will be thinking of you x

Not cheeky at all; everything is crossed. hope it goes well tomorrow :)

I know Missp - but if I try to recreate what just came from the heart it will never be as good as the first post.

However, I shall try.....

ok, tomorrow is one of the biggest days of my life, an amazing fresh start.

i am hungover, still. i have drank enough to fill a swimming pool :(
once i start that's it. shot after shot after shot, then after party....
i lost personal possessions, and self respect. people i care about have lost respect for me.
i was very vulnerable as 3 taxi's refused to take me (apparently)
and i have made myself feel so ill it has scared me. probably hasn't scared me enough not to do it again, as i've done it so many times before. i don't understand why it has to be all or nothing.

Mari - sounds like you are a bit of a party girl - if you don't mind me asking - do you drink that way just when out clubbing - or is it at home and all the time too?

Sx

Hi mouse lots and lots of positive thoughts coming your way.
Hi mari welcome aboard.
x

MissP

Basically my message was about ACCEPTANCE.

I have to accept that I cannot just have one or two drinks - a bit like my posting on here - you either get the full hit or nothing.

But I was also giving a big thank you toJWN for starting the thread and to all the other posters who keep it going.

It is a life-line to me and to many I suspect - I think if it makes us consider, where we are now, where we were 5 months ago, where we might be in 5 months, and ultimately where we WANT TO BE, then it is doing a fantastic job.

It has certainly made me re-asses my drinking AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN. rather than just slipping back into old habits without any conscious thought.

God the thread I lost was far more thought provoking.

Just off to find admistrator of site and suggest they have a place you can find messages you have just spent ages working on and then f**ing lose.....

As I said, that is the gist of it but original post was better put.

ACCEPTANCE - of what, is entirely your own choice - but until you can accept who/what/why you are the way you are I think it can be very very hard to move forward.

x

Thank you Brave Babes.

Mari

So, so sorry that I didn't say hello to you. My head is a bit all over the place. Forgive me.

Welcome to the bus. Wonderful to have you here with us. Please feel free to share the iced buns I've left at the front of the bus but watch out, these babes are sugar monsters!!

I hope that your journey with us is all that you need.

Nice to have more seats filled.

Silver you put it brilliantly! I too am an all or nothing type of girl. Even sunshine and showers piss me off! I prefer it to pour down or be hot and sunny IYSWIM
Its the continuing support on here that is working for me. I guess that is ultimately what AA is all about. Acceptance, feels like Relief to me, letting go of all the crap and heartache that drinking brings.

All crossed for you Mouse

Would you believe that I'm de-cobwebbing the room with a long yellow duster in between posts. I think my hair is full of spiders. Man I know how to party

I used to have this fab fluffy thing on a stick that got rid of anything at ceiling height - lost it when I moved house about a year ago.

Bummer

Off to land of nod babes

The bus (whose name is Gerald by the way) is tucked up and ready for tomorrows's trip.

Mari - keep lurking - talk when you are ready.

Luci - such progress - be proud woman

SAF - Keep focused

Mouse - we are all with you.

Night all

Ok spiders dispatched! Time for bed. Wishing you all a good sleep, and a bright shiny new week. x

hello!! - just watched downton abbey!, oohh i love a good drama!

anyway, down to business!

i have been a bit wavery this week, i have found myself debating in my head as to weather im a 'real alcholic', after all, i have got to FOUR MONTHS without a drink!, no slip ups, no 'cheating' whatever - i really nearly convinced myself that everything was ok now, a 'little' glass wouldnt hurt, would it?, oh someone slap me!!, what a daft old bag i am!, there is no way round it! I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!, and, it seems, im not the only one in village! , lets have a bit of honesty here, there is NO way that i can 'just have one', im a lush, a boozer, a pisshead, a drunk!

the thing is, if i am REALLY honest with myself, i now find that im many other things too, the alcohol no longer defines me, it is not the driving force in my life anymore, my free will has taken over, im no longer dictated to by some liquid in a bottle, my thoughts and thinking are not all consumed by the worry of 'will i, wont i?', 'is there any in the house'?, have i got the money in my purse so it dosent show up on my debit card bill'? 'will the doctor believe i drink 4 units a week'?

oh, the peace in my head is beautiful!, tomorrow i know i will not be drinking, thats my first decision of the day, done and dusted, now i can get on to the important things! (like what to wear! )

i dont really know where this ramble is going, i just want to try and explain why im here and the huge differance one small decision can make!

one thing i do know though is that everyone on this thread is very important to me, on here i have met the most fantastic women, every single one of you is helping me to stay sober and i only hope that i am helping everyone else in the same way!

am off to bed now, i feel all sort of emotional and silly

thank you all so very much! and remember, tomorrow

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

meet you all at the bus stop!

btw, mouse, goes without saying that i will say a little prayer for nemo!!!

Great minds think alike silver - I was going to post a few more than my usual 1 or 2 lines - and I will try not to loose it!

This site has done amazing things for me in just one week - simple stuff like making me face up to my drinking and being honest about the amounts consumed over the last god knows how many years. I wasn't even honest about that when I first started posting.It has also made me face up to the effect that my drinking was having on my children - reading other people's experiences made me wake up. Did I really think that 2 teenagers would be oblivious to their mum getting half pissed every night. Unforgiveable given that they have had to go through the pain of seperation, primarily due to their father being an alcoholic who is still in total denial.

Being able to check in and just read or join in conversations has been a great motivation and distraction at times when I really needed it.

I know that everyone who is on this thread has their own problems and challenges. I also know that I am one of the lucky ones. I am not great expert on alcholol issues (despite living with the ex -sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees.) - but I do believe that some people can learn to control their drinking and some can never drink. I know that I can and have already learnt control and am hopeful that I can maintain and build on this.

To others that continue to struggle and whose lives have been devastated by alcohol, I believe that this thread can do so much to support and help you get back on your feet when you have been knocked down again. It seems from reading some of the conversations today that sometimes people may feel despondent reading of other people's success as it serves to highlight their 'failure'. I do hope that that isn't the case. There is such a spirit of support and genuine concern here that everyone is entitled to - however many slips and however many times people loose motivation.

Thanks everyone - here's to another week of ups and downs!
xx

SLAP SLAP SLAP

ouch!

jwn, can echo everything you said. The peace, the simplicity of not drinking is amazing. And silver (think it was you) - Acceptance is everything. I sound like I'm preaching now, so I'm going to bed!

mouse, good luck for tomorrow.

Morning to all (nearly lunchtime here),

mouse hope all goes well for nemo today x

Alcoholic / not an alcoholic? Off it for ever / may be able to have the ocassional drink?

To be honest, on this thread, i don't think the definition matters too much. We have all being exhibiting the same types of behaviour - drinking more than we planned to, finding it difficult to stop once we'd started, thinking far too much about when we could next have a drink, not being honest with other people about how much we drank, and not being honest to ourselves about the fact that we had a problem.

As each of us goes forward in our own ways, I think the single most important thing for all of us is to keep on being honest with ourselves. To be honet if one drink is slipping into two, to be honest is we are thinking we are 'cured', to be honest if we've slipped off the bus for an hour or a day or a week, to be honest if we're sitting on the bus but with a couple of cans hidden in our bag.

None of can deal with this unless we are first open and genuine in our own heads and hearts. That is the first priority for all of us.

Keep posting lovely people.

This thread is helping me mostly because its making me think and face up to my drinking.

Back to Day 1 and today I will not be drinking.

Good luck Mouse