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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Brewery!

1000 replies

Mouseface · 28/09/2010 19:33

Hello.

I'm Mouse and I've been on the bus for 2 months now and not fallen off it as yet. It's much more comfortable than The Wagon! Grin

Anyway, this is thread number nine!

Everyone is welcome to join at any point of the journey, drinking or not, wanting to stop or just to cut down.

Jump on board, you won't be judged, just supported whatever you decide. Smile

Here is the history of The Brave Babes if you want to have a read.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

OP posts:
RedMoomin · 29/09/2010 11:16

luci you are doing the right way. I could not bear to think about never drinking again. So I don't. I just choose not to drink today. And tomorrow I will make the choice again. (I hope!)

desiretochange · 29/09/2010 11:17

Echo what Red says Luci, just for today:)

Mouseface · 29/09/2010 11:23

Luci - you said it to us, words on a screen and all that. You let it out and that's what matter.

Don't be embarrassed or ashamed or upset. We are all here to support you. For as long as you want, in what ever way you want. Smile

OP posts:
venusintransit · 29/09/2010 11:36

Hello, venus here, hovering in the clouds and watching the the journey of the little bus and all who are on it. Looks like a bumpy road with some twists and turns but with everybody together you know that even if the bus breaks down completely, you can all get out and push it round the next bend (of course I'm too old to do any pushing, and JWN in her heels will probably be useless).

Actually hovering in an airport, had coffee orange juice, apple juice, mushroom panini. Not a drop of alcohol.

Well done msgee for catching yourself last night. Why don't you just take that bottle out of the fridge, and replace it with something else so that tonight when you fancy a glass of something chilled there will be something lovely and non-alcoholic for you. Takes some deliberate thought, but no more than deliberately planning to drink.

Interesting reading about other people's struggles. Thank goodness I am in a good place just now (so how f'ing mad that I would risk losing it for a drink (or several)), but if I think back to when exh and I split there were some terrible years. Living in a crap rented flat, moving every six months, nights when my dds would be with ex and I would howl with anguish at their empty beds, a temporary contract that had me traveling silly miles every day, had my lease car taken away and couldn't afford to buy a car - yuk, yuk, yuk. One morning I had to get a new photo for my security pass, I was disgustingly hungover, had slept-in and had not washed my hair or put on any make up, I looked awful. And I had to walk around for 3 years with the evidence hanging around my neck for all to see.

venusintransit · 29/09/2010 11:45

And interesting SAF what you said on the other thread about how tiring it is to fight against the struggle (of life or alcohol or anything).

I read something recently about Islam which said that the word Islam has its origins in the word peace and combines the twin concepts of surrender and obedience (apologies because I've probably paraphrased that very badly and possibly incorrectly). Of course in Islam there is surrender and obedience to Allah, but I have found the principle to be applicable to my own life and I find that in surrender, I find great peace. I do not mean that in a way which is about giving up or giving in, but accepting what is, and then fiinding ways to deal with it.

In relation to alcohol, personally I find that trying to control my drinking is such a fight and a struggle, whereas my acceptance that I have a problem brings a measure of relief, and a clear choice every day about whether I do drink or do not drink.

RedMoomin · 29/09/2010 11:49

Hello venus. Really enjoyed your post - as always! Veru jealous that you are jetting off - wherever it may be.

RedMoomin · 29/09/2010 11:49

By the way, I am VERY jealous rather than VERU.

jesuswhatnext · 29/09/2010 11:53

hello all!, im JWN and im an alcoholic! Grin, i dont mind saying it all - it brings me a great peace to stop struggling with the concept and just accecpt what is!

my BOOTS today mouse!, are over the knee black patent leather with a 5in heel and platform!, they are totally lush and make dh go weak at the knees! Wink i keep sashaying round the office with i hope, a hint of promise in eye! Grin

back to my deadlines, see you later girls!!

venusintransit · 29/09/2010 12:05

moomin I am off to Delhi Grin Grin.

First to the Commonwealth Games (part of 'Team Scotland') and then a bit of holiday Grin

PS I am not taking part in ANY sport, just providing organisational support, so don't expect to see me chucking a javelin about Grin or standing on the medal podium singing Flower of Scotland Grin

desire I think I have replied to your pm. If you don't understand what I have written or want to ask anything else pm again - I should manage to pick up my email at least some of the time.

Dizzydollybird · 29/09/2010 12:11

Luci, I echo everyone else, well done for your admission to yourself. I clearly remember the day I first said 'I'm dizzy and I'm an alcoholic' - the relief was immense and I had a strange sort of quiet calm come over me as I realised that I didn't have to fight anymore, it was sweet sweet relief.

Your inner struggle has been clearly documented in previous posts and has been heartbreaking to read, I really hope you have a peaceful day and go forward one day at a time x

Red above is for you too, no decision has to be made immediately, maybe you and DH will be able to find a compromise in time but right now your sobriety is your priority (the selfish alcoholic card) and you're so right, what will be will be x

JWN I have a bit of shoe fetish, and now a small girl crush Blush

venusintransit · 29/09/2010 12:19

Dizzy I can remember that day so clearly too. I was in an AA meeting and I said "err.. I'm venus, err... I'm an alcoholic. err... that's it really." I was more nervous saying that than standing up infront of a room of people and giving a presentation. My face was puce and I couldn't look anyone in the eye. Still can't when I say it.

Mouseface · 29/09/2010 12:33

venus - hello lovely lady. Have a wonderful time. xx

JWN - see! I knew that you were into S&M, not M&S! Grin

OP posts:
desiretochange · 29/09/2010 12:36

Venus, replied to your pm, have a fantastic time away.
How is everyone feeling today?

Dizzydollybird · 29/09/2010 12:39

Hey Venus - my embarrassment was that I still didn't feel worthy of the title, I looked around at all these people and didn't think, based on some of the horror stories, that I was qualified. Now I realise it's about how I felt about my drinking alone, it's not a competition.

I can be quite open about it now, I always wanted to be the one to say outrageous things, now when I say that to people I quite enjoy the shock and awe it causes Grin.
It's also interesting that many people are fascinated by my story and confess that on the quiet, they feel the same.

Anyway, have a lovely trip and I think you should get down with some Flower of Scotland if possible, have you packed a gigantic Saltire?

swallowedAfly · 29/09/2010 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mouseface · 29/09/2010 12:48

Hello desire hope you are ok today.

OP posts:
desiretochange · 29/09/2010 12:53

Hi Mouse, feeling a bit brighter today, how are things with you?

RedMoomin · 29/09/2010 12:59

venus now I am even more jealous! I may have lived in England (with a full-on English accent!) since I was 8 or 9 but I am a true and proud Scot! (Was born pretty near Edinburgh in fact!) Have a fantastic time.

Mouseface · 29/09/2010 13:05

Not too bad. I'm just a bit tired. Thank you x

OP posts:
WasindieNial · 29/09/2010 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gettingeasier · 29/09/2010 14:18

Hello everyone.

So sorry to read all the difficult times people are going through at the moment , life really does suck sometimes and I think in these difficult economic times it can be sooo hard to stay positive.

Christi half a bottle is better than a whole one and I havent really got anything useful to add to all the supportive posts you've had . Hang in there and try to see some sunshine in the clouds.

MsGee thats amazing but take it out of the fridge now or it will keep calling your name.

Red you are doing well and I hope you can find clarity re your marriage and what you want and need.

Venus that post about your past was very powerful stuff thankyou for sharing it. Have a lovely trip.

Lucil dont let a sip of beer derail you later on.

Dizzy thought your post was amazing too just sorry you have been through this although you sound fine with everything Grin

Wasin be careful later no celebration drinks !

I am doing really well and whether I am or am not drinking is dominating my thoughts a little less now. My goal is to make it to a Day 7 which will be saturday as so far it has eluded me. However overall I just dont intend drinking today

See you later

ChristianaTheSeventh · 29/09/2010 14:54

Thanks for everyone's posts
Am still crying buckets. Just had therapy and cried so much that I thought I was going to throw up. My eyes are so tired.
Not sure what to do. Maybe I shouldn't be banging on here full of self pity.

swallowedAfly · 29/09/2010 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

desiretochange · 29/09/2010 15:15

So true Swallow, life through the lens of depression is so difficult, everything seems so overwhelming and it seems next to impossible to remember when life felt good.

ChristianaTheSeventh · 29/09/2010 15:48

i can remember when life felt good. It was when i had a job. Or when i had something to look forward to. I can't think of anything to look forward to apart from possibly going to sleep.

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