Hi Lucil, it sounds like you are feeling quite bad today. I have been thinking about your questions too.
When I was pregnant I gave up drinking and smoking because in my mind, my body was on lone to a baby (sort of). However after they were born I slowly started drinking (treating myself) and went back to smoking both times. I think because I wasn't falling out of clubs at 4am, just having a few glasses of wine at home (like everyone else right?) I really didn't see any problem.
Gradually it became every night and the few glasses were becoming more.
Now it seems weird to me that it was not ok when they were inside me and yet once they were here I didn't have the same resolve. They obviously still need me very much ? arguably more.
Although my children are a really great incentive to carry on not drinking, I have to be honest and say it was probably not them solely that made me want to stop. It was me.
I got so tired of failing each day NOT to drink, tired of feeling crap and worrying about destroying my liver or whatever. I HAD to have a go at stopping, if only for a week. Thing is, once I did the first night, each extra night gave me more strength and belief that I could do another night. I have since spent SOOO much time debating when I WILL drink next. I look at the calendar, pick days, imagine how much I will have and then how long I will wait before my next drink. Much mental energy. Actually though I have drunk only 1 night in 55.
I really can?t imagine not drinking anymore. BUT not drinking at the moment is quite OK. Honestly. I do still get upset, feel useless, unable to deal with stuff but I also feel positive, a bit proud and relieved. There are so many less haunting regrets.
I have waffled on but if I can get here then I really really believe you can. You have already begun making changes. You are so much more aware of your habits. You have shown some control.
Good Luck Lucil x
PS Mouse ? How very annoying that you can have a few glasses and not WANT more. I am very jealous.
Waves to other babes 