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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Brewery!

1000 replies

Mouseface · 28/09/2010 19:33

Hello.

I'm Mouse and I've been on the bus for 2 months now and not fallen off it as yet. It's much more comfortable than The Wagon! Grin

Anyway, this is thread number nine!

Everyone is welcome to join at any point of the journey, drinking or not, wanting to stop or just to cut down.

Jump on board, you won't be judged, just supported whatever you decide. Smile

Here is the history of The Brave Babes if you want to have a read.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

OP posts:
lucilastic · 03/10/2010 14:23

I have no idea how you do it Mouse. I suspect you are not an alcoholic.
I hope that you are not. I love my girls more than I love myself but at the moment I can not stop drinking.

I admire you. Smile
I really do.

lucilastic · 03/10/2010 14:26

I am just wondering...if your reason for stopping/moderating severely is Nemo, why now?
Why start in the first place? Why not earlier?
I am not having a go. As a mother of tots myself, I am interested in what was the turning point.
And looking for hope I guess...

Mouseface · 03/10/2010 16:08

Luci

I think once he was 'out of the woods' for a while, less at risk in terms of us blue lighting him to hospital, I relaxed a little.
And the more I relaxed, the more I felt able to do other things again.

Go shopping, pop to the post office and oh yes, drink. The better he got, the 'less' he needed me. In my head anyway.

In actual fact, all that has changed is his conditions. He still needs me to be as savvy and 'on it' as I ever was. If he has a 'blue spell' (related to his heart condition) then he has to go to A&E and like now!!

Imagine turning up there stinking of booze. Hello CPA and SS.

No. That's not for me thanks. I don't want him taken away because I'd rather drink. Or DD or risk the chance of losing my wonderful husband who I waited so long to find.

No. It's just not worth the risk.

As to why now? I have posted about why now before but in short I didn't remeber Nemo waking one night. I went to pick him up but DH got there first.

Thank fuck. I was plastered. I screamed at him to give me my baby. Luckily for me and Nemo, he didn't. He put me to bed and dealt with Nemo.

Apparently. Blush

BANG!! Big light went on! That's all it took. One stupid night. That could have been so much worse.

Smile
OP posts:
hippychicky · 03/10/2010 16:10

lucilastic - what support do you have round about you regaring your drinking?

Silver66 · 03/10/2010 16:50

Hi Babes

I have just returned from the PIT OF HELL that is the Trafford Centre - DD had birthday money to spend but we ended up taking DP's 2 kids as well - 12 and 11 - had it just been me and DD we would have been in and out in half an hour - as a family .....4 hours later.... OMG that place is unbelieveable BUT I would never even have considered it with a hangover (or feeling 'normal' - whichever way you look at it).

I still feel a bit ropey but not half as bad as I would have done had I drank last night.

Mouse - I also think that you are not an alcoholic - just that your drinking got out of hand and into a habit for a while - you are doing so well - it's fantastic to hear about - gives me hope every day.

Luci - all you can do is keep trying - I am now on my third serious atttempt since April. You just have to accept it if you slip up, and start again the next day - and keep on doing that - and on - and on until one day you (and me and all of us) will beat the monster.

I am looking forward to staying sober tonight and feeling even better tomorrow - back to swimming as I only work a 3 day week now so have Mondays and fridays free - a mixed blessing and a curse at the same time -less pressure but more time to dwell on drinking.

As so many have said

ONE DAY AT A TIME

xxxxxx

pavalova · 03/10/2010 16:53

Hi Lucil, it sounds like you are feeling quite bad today. I have been thinking about your questions too.

When I was pregnant I gave up drinking and smoking because in my mind, my body was on lone to a baby (sort of). However after they were born I slowly started drinking (treating myself) and went back to smoking both times. I think because I wasn't falling out of clubs at 4am, just having a few glasses of wine at home (like everyone else right?) I really didn't see any problem.

Gradually it became every night and the few glasses were becoming more.

Now it seems weird to me that it was not ok when they were inside me and yet once they were here I didn't have the same resolve. They obviously still need me very much ? arguably more.

Although my children are a really great incentive to carry on not drinking, I have to be honest and say it was probably not them solely that made me want to stop. It was me.

I got so tired of failing each day NOT to drink, tired of feeling crap and worrying about destroying my liver or whatever. I HAD to have a go at stopping, if only for a week. Thing is, once I did the first night, each extra night gave me more strength and belief that I could do another night. I have since spent SOOO much time debating when I WILL drink next. I look at the calendar, pick days, imagine how much I will have and then how long I will wait before my next drink. Much mental energy. Actually though I have drunk only 1 night in 55.

I really can?t imagine not drinking anymore. BUT not drinking at the moment is quite OK. Honestly. I do still get upset, feel useless, unable to deal with stuff but I also feel positive, a bit proud and relieved. There are so many less haunting regrets.

I have waffled on but if I can get here then I really really believe you can. You have already begun making changes. You are so much more aware of your habits. You have shown some control.

Good Luck Lucil x

PS Mouse ? How very annoying that you can have a few glasses and not WANT more. I am very jealous.

Waves to other babes Smile

lucilastic · 03/10/2010 17:05

Thank you pavalova.

I wish I could get to the point where I think the way you do.
I feel like the only alcholic in the village.

You are an amazing bunch of women and I'd love to stick around with youI feel however it's going to take a more hardcore group of pissheads like AA to drag me out of the shit.
If you'd asked me last week if I'd needed AA iI'd have been insulted.
Over and out babes. X

pavalova · 03/10/2010 17:11

Oh Lucil I didn't want to make you feel worseSad. You have taken baby steps. think of the wedding reception, the two glasses on Friday. I can really see a change.

I am no different to you apart from a few more days without drinking. Come on, deep breath, one day at a time. x

gettingeasier · 03/10/2010 17:33

Lucil its not easy but I too can see a difference in your posts try and look at what you are achieving.

Pav great post and great achievement too Smile

I was reading some of the AA links MIF put on ages ago yesterday and its given me a lot to think about. This coming week until thursday should be straightforward although I have a friend coming tuesday and I need to tell her in advance I wont be drinking so that there arent any last minute temptations.

I go away for 4 days on thursday and to somewhere where I normally drink quite a bit and will not be able to control alcohol being available. I am hoping my goal of feeling as good as possible on next Sunday (the reason I started all this originally)will carry me through.

Hope everyone is having a nice sunday

algee · 03/10/2010 17:40

lucil...i've been awol a while so feel slightly out of order saying this, but the only alchoholic in the village you are not... seriously.

when finally i had internet access again, i wondered if i should seek this thread out again, and when i did, i confes i thought 'oh bugger me, they're all sorted now', but the truth is, as i see it these days, that's the beuty of the thread/ aa/ quack help, whatever...celebrate the sober days without feeling ever you have it cracked...becuse the minut you think that is the minute you've lost it again (speaking for myself, not presuming to speak for anyone else!).

SCD on record, so not paying attention to my post...hope there's some sense somewhere in it!!

algee · 03/10/2010 17:42

...sorry not ignoring other posts!!

mouse..cava...bubbles...yum...!!!

lucilastic · 03/10/2010 18:17

The fact that I can still type at this point in the weekend is something I suppose.
I am not the kind of drnker who can drink half a bottle of wine a night and feel worried they have a problem...I am a potentially a bottle a night and a few ciders/beers/shorts/whatever is kicking around kind of girl.
I would love to stick around if you'll have me but I accept (reluctantly) that I need more help as well from AA and similar.

Talk to you tomorrow brave babes. I am not quite pissed and must look after my lovely children before I sign off................sorry.
Someone be kind to me on the bus...I'd like to reserve my place...despite everything. Sad

algee · 03/10/2010 18:34

lucil...recognise you, because i recognise me...though i start with whiskey then hoover up any other old crap available...

afriad i'm a crusty old bag, can't do the 'bus' talk, but see you here later/tomorrow!

algee · 03/10/2010 18:35

...though if i recall, i did used to talk about fairies! Blush

maristella · 03/10/2010 18:45

any spare seats please?
i'm very frightened by my drinking right now and feel ready for change.

pavalova · 03/10/2010 19:36

Hi and welcome Maristella. Do you fancy telling us a bit more? or not, up to you entirely just glad to 'see' you.

I have just got my children into bed so all is peaceful here - bliss.

Silver66 · 03/10/2010 19:53

Lucil and Mari

Your seats are reserved indefinitely - no cancellation clause - they are open tickets to take you wherever you would like to get to. You will probably get on and off a few times, but whatever you decide - your names are now marked (in permanent ink) on your seats. They are here whenever you need them.

(the rest of you can fight for the back seat!)

We shall be having a leisuely start to tomorrows journey because in an ideal world - all Mondays would start that way (and I'm the driver so you can't go anywhere without me) . However we shall be travelling calmly and smoothly to a lovely destination to be revealed later

Welcome aboard

xxxxxx

MissPerrier · 03/10/2010 19:56

Evening all Smile
Algee its lovely to see you back you crusty old bag Grin I remember your posts from before.
Pav I really know what you mean about the mental debate, things are a lot better for me now, but I could start it off again in a tick.
Maristella welcome aboard, come and sit up the back!

MissPerrier · 03/10/2010 19:58

Blimey Silver you just appeared out of nowhere! Grin

Silver66 · 03/10/2010 19:58

The thing that kick started me to stop was reading Allen Carr's "easy Way To Control Alcohol"

That was my'light bulb' moment.

It might not be for everyone but it certainly clicked with something going on in my mind - in fact I am going to re-read it.
x

swallowedAfly · 03/10/2010 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Silver66 · 03/10/2010 20:02

Hi MissP

Just got back on line after day of torture at the Trafford Centre and then taking step-kids home.

Wink

OH GOD NO - DD got the violin out - well I suppose she does have to practice....

xxx

MissPerrier · 03/10/2010 20:08

Grin at your earplugs Silver! I read Alan Carr too. It really inspired me, but then it wore off. I also read High Sobriety by Alice King (she used to be the wine writer for the Daily Mail). That was another moment of epiphany for me that wore off. The beauty of this thread is that it keeps going Thank you JWN if you are out there x

Silver66 · 03/10/2010 20:26

Just wrote my bestest ever message and F*ing lost it Angry

Mouseface · 03/10/2010 20:27

Hello

Can I be cheeky please? Can you all please cross your fingers for Nemo for me? He has an important hospital appointment first thing in the morning and we could really do with some good news.

Thank you Smile

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