Archers thread #149: This is not a drill, it’s a plot device. Here’s hoping for Stella-r rows in Ambridge. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you think George Grundy's bantz make him a great laugh and totally harmless to women, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Thanks for title suggestions - @FallonsNewCoat started us off with Drilling down OR What’s the drill?: So many jobs hanging in the balance - what’s planned for Adam, Stella, Freddie and horrible George?, @OverArmour's suggestion was ‘Drilling down on less than Stella-r performances and who will be a pig in muck’ and @TeenDivided contributed the laserdrill focussed Lets drill into plot holes and hope George gets his comeuppance. I went for a bit of all of that. The phrase at the back of my head, which I am very pleased to have tracked down, was from one of my favourite film franchises where the character Conklin says in Jason Bourne's memory This is not a drill, soldier. We clear on that? This is a live project. You are go. Training is over. Training is over. Well, that's us, troops. Training is over, discussing The Archers is a live project, and it's our job to drill down into all aspects of what we hear.

On the last thread, people were discussing how unrealistic the portrayal of mental health problems is on TA. I wholeheartedly agree, but I suppose they don't feel they can tackle long-running slow burn storylines that often. They made a great effort with Jack Woolley's Alzheimer's. Other than that, I don't recall anybody having a recurring illness that's been portrayed realistically (and actually that goes for physical conditions as well). Most things clear up and are hardly mentioned again. Sticking just to mental illness, Pat had depression after John died, Mike Tucker had a bad bout of depression, so did Elizabeth. Helen's ED may or may not be about to re-appear, but nobody's mentioning it. Ben's rapid-onset depresssion recently led to a psychotic episode but now he's fine, not least because he got prompt, skilled and appropriate treatment on the NHS, unlike most of the UK. This is one area where I feel they shouldn't even attempt it if they can't do it in a way that reflects the reality of what most of us experience, for ourselves and our loved ones.

Anyway, with that off my chest - over to you!

@BerylBillings oh perfect!

We still don't know how he found out that Rob's back do we?

Maybe the phone thing is just to remind us that Henry is now a teenager. Presumably contact from Knob would breach the non-mol so it would be fairly daft. But still

Might it be that something happens with Henry and he doesn't have his phone so can't make contact with Helen or Lee?

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves that’s my guess, too.

i want the SW to have a massive one-off blow out on the Rob story. After that is is Never To Darken My Ears Again.

Nice little tip that Brad doesn't yet know he's supposed to be staying at his grannys. (In his shoes? i would refuse. Just how big is that house anyway)

Ah. The Return Of Eric. (or Erik?) Hmmmmm. Kirsty's going to get pregnant, isn't she?

Am picturing Brad as Jarvis Cocker-esque, in his green velvet suit.

Hoping George doesn't coerce him into making full use of the honeymooners' empty house. Rave central/ George's drunken mates and assorted gatecrashers.

Now there's an idea. Helen will obviously blame herself.

In due course the programme can be re-named The Horrobins.

Suddenly feel a bit tearful. How often do we witness true revolution?

Yes, how has this breakdown in communication occurred, such that Tracy and Brad have opposing ideas of where he’ll be staying during the honeymoon of the year? Of course he won’t want to move in to Ambridge View!

Although - it really is time for Bert to be persuaded to move permanently into his other daughter’s lovely home. (Though I’m not sure how that would work in terms of Tracy ‘inheriting’ his council house.) One would think he’d be keen, as I’m sure Neil and Susan’s house is a helluva lot nicer than the house on the green.

Are Mia and Brad from exactly the same class? She may have a Grundy step-family but I’ve always had the impression her own town dwelling father is at least lower middle class - rather different to the Horrobin struggling precariat life. (IIRC Nic was poor when she first came into the story, because separated single parent, but the Will / Nic household was pretty well set up when he was a gamekeeper, I think?) I guess what I mean is that she might find the sort of opportunities sixth formers and young adults need are more accessible to her than they are to Brad. Her dad and step mother might be able to pay for trips, open days, whatever, much more easily than Tracy, who always needs a miracle. Although Brad does have a job now. Not sure about Mia.

I really hope not. I would prefer he spends an evening with Mia snuggled up watching their film.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves
My thoughts also.

yes I'm worried George is going to encourage Brad to host a rave.

I really really hope Brad can resist and Neil or Susan catch George really working at it, the scales fall from their eyes and everyone falls weeping on Brad's shoulder for ever thinking he's more of a scally than Sainted-George.

I do dislike the way Archers women all put on a Nudge nudge, wink wink voice when discussing each others' love life. We've had it with Rooth and Stella, and again last night with Helen and Kirsty. Surely they can discuss it like normal people?

I didn’t believe Helen when she said Les was a good kisser. I think a kiss from him would be very sloppy and wet - though I expect he would be quite enthusiastic. A bit like kissing a Labrador.

I don't think Helen believed it either!

I think we all know Kirsty didn't mean kissing (and nor did Helen)!

I'd completely forgotten about Erik. I hope he whisks Kirsty away from the village permanently to live somewhere exotic. Or they go travelling around the world together. I just think her life is completly wasted in Ambridge. She has no family in the village, lives with tragic Roy and faces a constant reminder of What Could Have Been when she sees Natasha and the twins (although she obviously had a lucky escape when Tom jilted her).

Life is just passing her by and she always sounds so unfulfilled and sad to me.

I'd be quite happy to have Kirsty live in the village having glorious sex with Naughty Erik, doing a job she loves (she does love it), maybe organising a festival, having chickens, maybe adopting a kid in a few years.

My problem with Erik is that I struggle to separate him out from the actor who plays him and his previous role as the creepy rapist cop in The Bill. His voice still gives me the ick, which I know is grossly unfair as if anything it shows he's a good actor.

For me the point of Erik is that eventually Kirsty might became Kate’s sort of sister in law - and thus finally have a true family connection to The Archers. And it’s obvs not too late for her to have a child if she wants to. Or to be a child free force in the village.

But I’d be equally happy if she finds a life outside the Ambridge force field.

I really, really don't want to condemn Erik to living in Ambridge, though. What has the poor man ever done to deserve that?

Oh no @Kiwano why did you have to tell me that??? I'll have to try and forget again. He was HORRIBLE in The Bill. I always automatically hate him in anything else on TV.

I’m sure his voice is supposed to be all gravelly and sexy but it gives me the ick too. I listened to an audiobook he narrated recently. The story was charming but I couldn’t get past his voice.

I am so glad I don't have a telly and can hear the voice without the nasty associations!

I had no idea The Billl was still going but now I have the theme tune stuck in my head.

The Bill came to an end a long time ago, but I have been watching repeats in a desultory sort of way on UKTV and saw the episodes in question fairly recently.

Many apologies, @WitcheryDivine!

Desultory way! Love it. Oh it's The Bill, shall we watch it? Oh go on then I 'spose. I loved The Bill in its glory days not so much when it got really daft with the bloke off EastEnders/Grange Hill (brain freeze)