Why is Lillian allowing this to happen?

[PseudoBadger]

FFS Lil, he's just a bit on the side. If he pisses you off just bin him. Don't start sounding so downtrodden.

OOh blimey I didn't know about Hellin leaving Henry with Rob. (been busy!) i'll listen to the omnibus.

They're clearly setting the Cheese Straw up with shifty Rob-with-the-imaginary-wife. They are diametrically opposed in terms of convictions (industrial mega-dairy vs. lovingly hand-stroked organic cheese) but there's a 'spark' which neither will be able to resist.

There's also some dark secret about the alleged Mrs. Rob, whom nobody's ever seen and who appears to be a figment of his imagination.

Mind you, when he finds out about Helen's turkey-baster he may not be so keen. That choice bit of information had Jono running for the hills recently, didn't it?

So how come Pip has also had a complete personality transformation this week?

Ha ha Brillig - Rob fancies having his cheese "lovingly hand-stroked" by the cheese queen :o
I think Rob has got so fed up waiting for his wife to turn up that he'll start an affair with Helen, who either won't ask or won't care that he's married. Then, lo and behold, Jess will announce her move to the village.

Pseudo, exactly!

BOAK at loving hand stroked cheese

After the obviousness of the Jonno debacle, I am cringing in advance at the prospect of Rob's industrial farming background being the implicit explanation for his eventual easy acceptance of Henry's donor paternity situation.

But Lilac Rob's married!

Oh I know, she's already lamented the fact that "all the good ones are married or gay". His open minded view of reproduction will just add extra piquancy to her frustration about that.

The Cheese Queen will go all angsty for a while but, ultimately, she will have him. Because she is Helen Archer and she always gets what she wants because she deserves to. Also Henry the wunderkind deserves to have a daddy of his very own - he has not bonded with the photo of a turkey baster.

Pat'n'Tone will be concerned and mildly disapproving at first but will quickly come round (Pat first, natch) because nothing must ever ever be allowed to upset Helen.

Mrs Rob will be quickly airbrushed out of the picture after being revealed as a beatch of the first order, whom Rob has nobly stayed with because he believes in his marriage vows, although he has been made very unhappy. Helen will convince him that he deserves happiness too. Then we can all enjoy Helen going into full-on Bridezilla mode while planning her organic, locally-sourced wedding.

Yes. Jump queue to flat above shop? Check.
Jump queue at sperm bank? Check
Jump queue to Rob Titchyknob? Check

And yes Lilac- I LOVE that he will be accepting of Helen's AI as he has 'experience' of it :o

It doesn't sound like their sex-life will be much fun.

How about Rob's wife is actually dead, and he just can't bring himself to say the words?

Or Rob is in fact a woman, who had to pretend to be a man to get on in the farming world? Better still he is a lesbian woman who will two time Helen with the new scottish herdswoman, while secretly lusting after Adam?

Can I have a job as a scriptwriter please? None of the above are less believable than the flower festival.

Helen: "Well, I suppose not everybody is comfortable with donor conception. They think it's not natural."
Rob: "Surely sometimes Mother Nature is at her best when she has a helping hand?"
Helen: "Well yes, I suppose so! Like my cheese! Ha ha!"
Rob: "Like my mega-dairy!"

Actually, am rather fearing for Mrs Rob. When Helen has her mind set on something, she won't let ANYTHING get in her way

Be afraid, Mrs Rob, be very afraid...

BoreofWhabylon you paint a picture of Rob not unlike Edward Rochester. Which would make Helen, Jane Eyre. Which actually kind of works, as don't they both have a really grating worthiness to them?

Caroline! Finally. But they're talking about occupancy rates. Are they really thinking of closing Grey Gables?

YY to grating worthiness, Thesun, but feel Rob is rather more boring than Mr R (indeed, he seems to be standard TA Middle Class White Bloke cardboard cutout) and I feel Helen makes a less self-sacrificing and rather more scary Jane

I love the grating worthiness along 'o the cheese Hellin will change the factory farm into an organic humanely run animal rightist institution and will use Pat n' Tony's herd to make it right on.

use Pat n' Tony's herd to make it right on.
but the herd is just about to be sold! All except for poor Lonely Cow.

(I don't think even H. can work on R. that quickly to get him to buy the herd)

I want Rob to fall for the herdswoman from oop north and leave Helen sobbing into her curds and whey.

OR when H makes her move on R - as she surely will - for him to recoil in horror and say "But Helen, you know I'm married, I thought we were just friends!"

Or Rob is in fact a woman, who had to pretend to be a man to get on in the farming world? Better still he is a lesbian woman who will two time Helen with the new scottish herdswoman, while secretly lusting after Adam?

Am liking this scenario choccyp1g

Or is he just sweet talking her to get a good deal on the Bridge Farm herd?

Oh, I do hope so, badger