Would it be mad to consider huge house with lots of work to do with 4 young dcs?

[accessorizequeen]

We currently live in a 3 bed semi with small bathroom, tiny kitchen, dining room down the hall. Dcs are 6, 3 and 18 mo dts. Saw a place yesterday which is 7 beds , south facing, huge garden, in ideal area/street, detached with driveway (not many places with driveways in this area). And we can just about afford it.

BUT it is owned by a woman in a wheelchair, there's a lift in the middle of it, a kitchen designed specially for the owner, ramps everywhere. 3 floors, massive number of rooms, basins in every room, anaglypta etc, toilets all over the place, slightly dodgy looking extension with terrace, roof prob needs retiling, could be damp, huge fish ponds in the garden, a cellar that will probably constantly flood. The things that bother me most though are the lack of original features (it's a house in a heritage area but was a residential home for a long time) and no kitchen/diner.

DP has 8 businesses and stressed out to the max already with them. I work 2 days, look after the kids the rest of the time. We are desperate for more space for us and the kids. Just don't know if this is worth the stress/risk? Have never done any renovation before, knocked walls down etc.

I wouldn't!

There must be other houses bigger than your current one which aren't in need of so much attention?

Hmmmmm could you live with it as is until the dts go to school and you have more head space?

I would and we have....
very stressful at times (doing it up ...ie all day today not finished yet not had dinner.....)

but

at the end of the day the kids LOVE the space and have a great time doing lord knows what at different corners of the house

Ponders - yes, bigger, but not with same features as this one. We really want/need a driveway but so few come up and this is south facing & detached & huge!
CarGirl, you mean live with current house? Or live with new house? Neither I don't think. Main reason for moving is to have kitchen/diner so I can spend more time with kids whilst making dinner instead of locking the stairgate & listening to them scream! And more space everywhere else. We've got no storage, need a spare room for visiting family, dp really needs a study and there's nowhere to even stick a desk.

yes yes yes
just read your op to dp (stressed and self employed ...) he says yes

Are you doing the work yourself pineberry? DP can't/won't do any major DIY so we'd have to come up with money to pay someone. I could do decorating etc but not much else.

If you can only just afford it (so presumably couldn't afford to pay someone else to do it?), & your DP has no spare time, & your spare time is mostly taken up with your children, when would anything get done?

I suppose if you could fill in the ponds, & block off the lift & the cellar, you could get by until your twins start school when you would have more time but it sounds like a huge enterprise.

Don't know if we could find some money to create kitchen diner for now, don't think we'd offer for it unless we could.
We are not the kind of couple who a) makes decisions together easily or b) will work all hours making the house perfect. We're both too knackered already!

You have to be really honest with yourselves - how much time do you have for DIY? Do you have people who can look after kids on weekends so you can work on house? Do you have money to spend on house improvements? Do you and DH like DIY? Do you agree on stuff like that?

OR can you live happily in wreck for several years and improve later or would that frustrate you?

We bought a house that needed work when we had first baby.... (watched too many home improvement TV shows!). We were keen for first year or two but then it got harder... More babies, less time, not enough money! I turned into a nag always asking DH when he would do XX job! He wasn't really that keen. We found that out about ourselves.... not sure we'd do it again unless I had the money to pay builder!

yes we are accessorise

we did have builder last year to put in rsj and skim and a nice kitchen made but have done a lot ourselves

knocking walls

completely re doing bathroom (now!)

putting in downstairs loo

laying flooors

total re decorate throughout

and the garden

I wouldn't. And if you can just about afford it where is the money going to come from to do it up? Makes me shudder to think about it with children, but one man's meat and all that.

good points, flipflops. We've done nothing to current house in 6 years (and obviously started with just the 1 baby). I would probably have done if dp would join in/help but he point blank won't. Fair enough, he already works a hell of a lot and often evenings and weekends too.
I just saw children running around that house having a wonderful time hiding on the 3rd floor!

it becomes a labour of love accessorise

we bought ours at top of market and paid over odds so money v v tight but we have managed to afford it (prob due in part to desperation!)

I am in awe of you, pineberry. The thought of us doing stuff like that, we just sit in front of tv every nite.
So option is to find enough money to do the major bits of work up front & then live in rest of it until we can afford more bits. Hmmm.

I think I would maybe be that kind of person with a different dp, but he is who he is.
Really admire couple who enjoy that stuff together, we did a bit on our previous house but seemed to scare dp off for life (stripping doors that kind of thing, nothing major).

I have to say it is AMAZING how much money an old house can swallow. All the little bits (paint, carpet/flooring, lights etc..) really add up. Then you start a job and discover damp etc... All your money goes into the house!

I'd only do it with young kids if I had the budget for builders etc...

Three years later we are still living in the project with a half finished kitchen and a half finished bathroom.
It depresses the hell out of me but I guess it'll be worth it in the end.

it IS hell at times but also rewarding...

the kids get used to wandering amidst timber and caulking - you get your dream house at the end - and that could be it

sit back

enjoy!

big house makes it much easier with kids imo

I would do it again with a different DH! I mean 'if' he had a different personality! He just wasn't that keen and I always wanted to get cracking! I turned into a Nag!

I'd go for it (says she still living in an unfinished house 3 yrs down the line!!)
Just accept that you will be living in a bit of a dump for a while.
I couldn't resist having that much space -and if you get it to a reasonable standard you could always do this;
www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/Taxes/TaxOnPropertyAndRentalIncome/DG_4017804 ,
which would help a lot with money, and you might find someone who could help a bit with childcare,( my sister did!)

agree dragon

we have cellars - as yet untouched

Yes, I would.

Well, we have. A Victorian semi previously in multiple occupancy, washbasins, magnolia'd anaglypta, pervasive smell of Pot Noodle & Drum tobacco, Something Nasty In The Cellar & all.

Yours sounds a bit more in need of structural stuff, admittedly.

You'd have to be willing to live with it as it is &/or in a building site for at least a year, is the only thing.

But I've found that the amount of space absolutely makes up for the grotty Young Ones-esque kitchen we can't afford to replace until it actually collapses, the vanload of crap that fell on our heads every time we opened a cupboard, & the mad fire alarm system that goes apeshit every time the toaster's plugged in!

Seriously, go for it. Absolutely agree with pineberry that it becomes a labour of love.

accessorize CAT me if you like

I am not a zillion miles away (ok it's a big county!)

I agree that I can't quite see who's going to do the work, if you can't get someone in, your DH is working more than full-time and you're looking after 3 young children.

To me, this house sounds like a bad bet for you - because of the ages of your children, lots of things are problems and will need fixing that wouldn't be problems with older children.

We went a bit mad and bought a house that needed a lot of work, but because it had heating and a usable kitchen and bathroom at the beginning, we thought there was no rush and we could just work on one room at a time. We put aside a massive budget for works (over 10% of the purchase price), and I dropped down to working 4 days a week to have 1 day to do DIY / project manage.

Turns out that DH, who also runs his own business, finds the whole renovation very stressful, although he doesn't actually have to do anything (he got involved once and it was a disaster, so I won't let him again!)

We completely renovated a big detached victorian house. At the start we had DD who was 18 months and by the time it was finished we had DD who is 5 and DS who is 2.

It took up lots of time and meant that DH constantly torn between doing stuff on the house and it kept him away from the children, or we would want to do family stuff and the house didn't get done. I love my house but we are now moving to something smaller which doesn't need work. The work on our current house wasn't the reason for the move but I did feel like I couldn't really go through with a big project again.

In terms of the positives, the space for the children was great and I will really miss it. But the real downside for us has been the money. We reached the conclusion in the end that we were both having to work flat out to pay the mortgage and really we weren't getting the quality of life. We lived in a beautiful house but were too stressed and busy to actually enjoy it most of the time.

It is a difficult decision I think, but I would at least make sure you have the budget to do what you would want to do to the house in the forseeable future. If you spend a long time living there without being able to afford to do the work you want, I think you would end up regretting the choice. South facing gardens are great but you don't get to use them all year round.