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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Calling all Reception teachers - what makes you hate parents?

109 replies

spiralqueen · 07/07/2010 13:48

A friend who has not long retired from teaching at a primary school recently warned us that our DD knowing too much on arrival at Reception would make the staff hate us. Is this true - honest opinions and not the PC line?

(We have a horror of small children being dragged to "mandarin for toddlers" and the like but she does go to nursery part time. She has picked up a great deal but that has not been because we have been pushing her)

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heronsfly · 07/07/2010 13:57

My sil is a reception teacher, I doubt she hates any of the class parents, but her pet moan is about parents who are far more interested in what other children are doing rather than delighting in there own childs milestones.

onedeadbadger · 07/07/2010 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gorionine · 07/07/2010 14:02

What is wrong with Mandarin for toddlers? this is the age were they will find it the easiest to learn a new language.

If teachers start hating parents because their children know too much it is really worrying!

onedeadbadger, that makes more sense!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 07/07/2010 16:13

Many friends who teach this age and she said exactly what onedead and herons said. that, and sending your child in to the school ill equipped, either materially (pe kit) or wiping their own bottoms wise.

NoahAndTheWhale · 07/07/2010 16:18

I think she will just not poo at school tbh.

MathsMadMummy · 07/07/2010 16:29

lol noah

my friend is a reception NQT and I asked her this a while ago. she agrees the apathetic parents are much worse. but also those who are always pushing her for info, being demanding etc - but that's more because of the time it takes up!

as for being annoyed if DC knows too much when they start school, I'd be devastated if DD's school took that view. I guess it can make things harder as you have to differentiate work more.

I worry about that, some of the things my friend is teaching her class is stuff my DD can do now - like number stuff as she enjoys it. I'd hope her teacher will just encourage it.

purpleturtle · 07/07/2010 16:33

If DS2 knows 'too much' when he goes into reception in September it'll be because they keep letting him in to the reception class from pre-school now!

I can't imagine going in to school once a week to tell a teacher how to do their job would endear you very much - but I walked down the road with a mum who seems to do pretty much that kind of thing today.

CompyCod · 07/07/2010 16:34

ANyone remember my story abotu my mate who works in a primary school?

she says that EVERY SINGLE PARENT she has ever shown around says their kid is " advanced for their age"

tribunalgoer · 07/07/2010 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

potplant · 07/07/2010 16:50

I was slightly offended when my sons reception teacher said DS was one of her best pupils cos he could sit nicely on the carpet. I mean come on he's been sitting up since he's 6 months old.

My teacher friend told me that the feeder nursery (that my DS didn't go to) doesn't do carpet time so most of the kids in the class just don't know how to sit still and listen for more than a very short period of time.

I would imagine that parents who don't take any interest are as bad as those who do. In my DS's class the same mother is 'having a word' with the teacher at drop off virtually every day - asking for extra work, what did they do yesterday, can they do a different topic blah blah. I imagine that gets pretty wearing after a while

PuzzleAddict · 07/07/2010 16:51

"She had to move school because she's quite bright and the other school wasn't able to cater for her" -- very stoic quiet reserved teacher friend actually guffawed out loud when she heard that; said that when a parent says that, alarm bells ring about how awfully pushy the parents must be.

potplant · 07/07/2010 16:51

Should say are as bad as those who take TOO muchy interest.

Hulababy · 07/07/2010 16:54

Isn't preschool for playing more than anything else?

I can't imagine infant school teachers hating parents at all and not for a child knowing too much anyway. Can imagine in secondary school when some children think they know everything that some teachers may find it more annoying!

I think reception and infant school teachers are likely to get frustrating with parents who don't do anything to help their own child - reading regulaly, etc.

And likewise a parent who is in here all the time qustioning what they are doing, are they pushing the child enough, wanting to know how x is doing compared to the rest, etc - now that wouldn't be particularly endearing either.

Fortunately most parents fit nicely within the middle

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 07/07/2010 16:55

I wasn't believed when I said ds was a bit advanced and could already read. Within a few days she commented "ds is very bright isn't he, we are also having a problem finding him a reading book" with a shocked look on her face. I don't think they tend to believe parents.

katiestar · 07/07/2010 17:06

'I think reception and infant school teachers are likely to get frustrating with parents who don't do anything to help their own child - reading regulaly, etc.'

They hate parents who won't do their (the school's) job. OOOkaaaay!!

wheelsonthebus · 07/07/2010 17:07

potplant - my dc is always coming home with housepoints for sitting nicely or queueing well. .
Agree that overbearing parents can be as bad as undermotivated ones. We do a lot with dc outside the classroom (reading/writing) and my view is that if we are that concerned about any issue, we do it ourselves.

katiestar · 07/07/2010 17:07

IME they dislike (not hate) pushy parents who try to dictate stuff like who their DC can and can't sit next to.

katiestar · 07/07/2010 17:09

Oh and parents who complain their children are bored at school because they have to spend 10 minutes a day doing phonics which they already know.

SrStanislaus · 07/07/2010 17:10

I wouldnt say 'hate' as such but Parents who annoyed me were;
Those who thought that all learning took place only in school -so they didnt have to do anything to prepare for school.So I had children arriving who could not take off/put on an outdoor coat-or hang said coat on a peg.And one who didnt know how to work a felt tip pen .And another who didnt know he had a name of his own -and that other children also had their very own names

Those who told their child horror stories of their school days and either scared the bejesus out of them or made them anti school (Oh s/hes just like me -hates school)before they had even started.

Those who thought that the entire curriculum was engineered to 'get at' their little darling. So they were given extra hard spellings/number work etc just for my amusement.

Those who assumed that I would somehow know exactly what was going on in their childs home life.Like the Mother who I spoke to for 15 minutes trying to find out why her little daughter was suddenly so withdrawn in school. She blanked every suggestion -no nothing was wrong at home, no she wasn't up too late, Yes she was eating fine etc etc. Until just as I had given up she volunteered "It 'might' have something to do with her Dad walking out last week".....

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 07/07/2010 17:10

There was a mother at one of ds's schools who was a helicopter parent, she used to unpack her daughters school bag (child was 9), she'd request extra homework at the weekends and school holidays for her daughter, she'd clean her desk for her, she'd carry all of her things etc. That would annoy me if I were this child's teacher smothered or what. I wonder what she will turn out to be like.

ninah · 07/07/2010 17:13

how about this (grandma) on being given a hand painted T shirt her dgs was really proud of
'oh that, yes we've had his sister's one already my daughter had to sneak it into the bin'
that kind of family, for me

Belle03 · 07/07/2010 17:16

OK here goes...as a reception teacher I can't stand pushy parents 'Oh he's so bright for his age' etc No, he's probably as bright as all the other kids, he's only 4. I get nervous of parents who push thier kids to loads of after school activities, it'd be lovely for them to just 'be'
My biggest bug bear is for the mums who get their child's reading book out on the playground & wave it around if they think their child is a good reader-aaaahhh!!
On the flip side, I LOVE parents who are chilled, who only do a few minues reading homework but do it every night & I love parents who let their kids dig, look at worms, obsess over dinosaurs-whatever the kid wants to do, not the bloody parent! Most of all I love parents who actually talk to their child & who actually listen to the answers, more like this please! Rant over!

MathsMadMummy · 07/07/2010 17:18

oh ninah that's really sad

DH and I will have to be careful not to be the always-talking-to-the-teacher parents. It will take a massive amount of effort for both of us I reckon!

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 07/07/2010 17:19

Some children are very bright for their age though Belle. You run the risk of alienating these parents.

Hulababy · 07/07/2010 17:19

Since when was it schools job to teach the child to read etc? Surely it is a joint effort. A school can teach a child the phonics, etc. but not many schools have time to sit and do 1:1 reading every day with every child - and everyone knows that reading imporoves with practise, and practise needs to be very regularly.

It is the parent's job to SUPPORT school and their own child's learning. Parents SHOULD be reading with their child regularly if they want to see their child reading whilst in reception.

It is not about doing the school's job for them. It is about supporting their own child's learning. Like homework later on in school, etc.

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