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Original poster

Calling all Reception teachers - what makes you hate parents?

109 replies

spiralqueen · 07/07/2010 13:48

A friend who has not long retired from teaching at a primary school recently warned us that our DD knowing too much on arrival at Reception would make the staff hate us. Is this true - honest opinions and not the PC line?

(We have a horror of small children being dragged to "mandarin for toddlers" and the like but she does go to nursery part time. She has picked up a great deal but that has not been because we have been pushing her)

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domesticsluttery · 07/07/2010 20:44

I have to say that I have yet to meet a teacher who is annoyed that a child can do things.

Annoyed that they can do them but won't in school perhaps, but that is a whole other thread.

tribunalgoer · 07/07/2010 20:46

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thirdname · 07/07/2010 20:51

[And who was it who mentioned parents should lettheir dc dig for worms. I rather take them for mandarin lessons than digging for worms.
Anthing would be better than digging for worms eeeuuukkk

GraceK · 07/07/2010 22:37

My DD will be the eldest in class when she starts Reception in 2011 (1st Sept birthday) so I asked my teacher friends what I could do if she starts to get interested in reading (rather being read to) in the next year - I was advised to try & speak to the reception teacher at her prospective school & find out what reading / spelling scheme they use - then if they are ahead when they start, they can move up along the school's curriculum & won't start complaining that the letters are pronounced a different way, etc.

BetsyBoop · 07/07/2010 22:44

my DD (starting school in Sept) doesn't do digging for worms, but hunts for slugs & snails (yuck) instead, does that count? ....she is dinosaur mad too.....and we don't get a choice about reading to/with her (not that we mind of course )

OMG that must mean I'm a chilled....

justaboutblowingbubbles · 07/07/2010 22:47

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gorionine · 08/07/2010 07:32

So far I have had a fantastic relationship with all my dcs teachers but at the end of the day, I am not here to be liked by them, I am here to do the right thing by my Dcs. If that had to mean that I need to talk to the teachers everyday after school I would.

Another thing, apperances can be very deceptive. I do open DS2(reception)'s bag as soon as he gets out of the classroom because if he forgot his reading book, and I do not realise before being home it means another 1 hour round walking trip to go and get it in order to be "the chilled parent who only does a couple of minutes reading every night"

sarah293 · 08/07/2010 07:32

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sarah293 · 08/07/2010 07:33

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MathsMadMummy · 08/07/2010 08:46

mrz - if you're still about, on another thread feenie linked to a very good publication about supporting DCs learning in year 2, and I was wondering if there was such a thing for parents of DCs in Reception - feenie said you might know of one? so I can help at home and not have to bug the teachers as much

my teacher was full of praise when I went to school already reading, but I know of quite a few parents who've been 'told off' for starting their DCs on reading too early. I suppose it's a problem if they learn a different scheme but if a DC wants to learn to read, surely saying "no you have to wait until you start school" would be damaging? it would've been in my case I think.

the idea that it is entirely the school's job to teach reading really pisses me off actually. of course we're entitled to expect that the school teaches it, but it has to be supported by parents!

DH and I are very pro-home-ed, but because DD is desperate to go to big school (and is flourishing in preschool) we've decided not to HE and she'll be starting Reception in 2011. if we were HEing obviously we would've taught reading completely, but just because she'll be at school it doesn't absolve us of responsibility! FGS

Ineedsomesleep · 08/07/2010 09:36

whoamireally you usually get to meet the teacher during the first term for a Parents Evening. If you have concerns before then you should be able to request a chat with the teacher at a time convenient to you both.

As for taking the books out on the schoolyard, I do check its in the bag too but wouldn't dream of taking it out. If another parent thinks you are showing off, they will hate you forever and you'll have too see all the parents, twice a day, 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year.

Riven I wish you hadn't moved either

spiralqueen don't you think that "horror" is a tad irrational?

BeerTricksPotter · 08/07/2010 09:47

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Oblomov · 08/07/2010 10:12

I am proud to admit that I have read the whole thread and honestly don't think i do any of the crimes listed. smug. smug. oh come on, its not that smug, its not hard. its called being reasonable.

NoahAndTheWhale · 08/07/2010 10:37

DD wiped her own bottom yesterday aternoon [proud].

Still think she will just not poo at school.

tribunalgoer · 08/07/2010 11:01

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Miggsie · 08/07/2010 11:11

I would just like to say in defence of those who tell the recption teacher that their child is advanced?

I met DD's recpetion teacher and said "DD is quite bright, she will consider you to be her personal assistant." Cue teacher's eyes glazing over and automatic "yes yes" to a deluded parent tone of voice.

3 weeks after DD started reception the same teacher came to me and said "I now see what you meant about your DD, she's really really bright." DD went on to do the literary SAT tests in reception.

So, statistically, there is ONE that beats the norm.

Same teacher once dropped in that she found the "my child is a precious over sensitive angel who must be protected from rough play in case it damages his self esteeem" from mothers of boys annoying and ludicrous.

CompyCod · 08/07/2010 11:12

lol at miggsie

you are SO SO typical

Miggsie · 08/07/2010 11:18

Thanks Cod, but DD is not a typical child, she just isn't.

Litchick · 08/07/2010 11:32

The reception teacher I work with hates the parents who won't do any reading at home with their child or support them in any way.
Who will often be late.
Who will not attend parents evenings.
Who will not teach their children basic manners or kindnesses.
She adores parents who are interested in the children's schooling.

Conversly, my Aunt hates any parent she feels to be 'pushy'.

I suspect that, as humans, different teachers like and dislike certain things depending on personal tastes.

zoelikesjam · 08/07/2010 11:33

DD1 started school last september, reception. As she was one of the oldest she did two years of prechool which i think really helped initiate her into school life.
I knew she could read some words, as she reads with me every night, i also knew she could write words and do some basic sums. She was a very talkative child but we never atributed that to her being bright.

When she started, the teachers took an instant shine to her...within two months she had been moved from reception to year one work.
By January she was reading at age 7 stage.

School, but mainly her teacher and the teaching assistant have been amazing. They give her one to one sessions as and when they can, and luckily they are keeping her in the same class for next year(our sch's reception and year one classes are intergrated) so they can continue to work with her.

I cannot praise her teacher any higher, she is amazing.
I just wish more teachers were like her!

cory · 08/07/2010 11:53

Miggsie, if teacher's sense of humour quota had been used up for the day (as happens with those who spend their day with the you and fractious), she may have thought you meant the second half of "DD is quite bright, she will consider you to be her personal assistant."

It was a joke, wasn't it?

the subtext surely should be, "dd is quite bright, but I would come down on her like a ton of bricks if she considered an adult as her personal assistant- or indeed anybody else until she is in a position to pay for a PA"

Teachers ime don't need to be reassured that the children are average in intellect: just that they have been well brought up.

Oblomov · 08/07/2010 11:54

I am the opposite of miggsie.
was talking to reception teacher last year, "oh, i said, so long as he's not struggling. i just want him to be adverage. i never want him to struggle". (looking back seems a bit inappropriate at reception stage, more liek the conversation at gcse stage !!)
oh no, mrs obs she said. he's far from average. he's very bright. oh i said. oh right.

obs downplays everything in life. thats her problem.

Butterpie · 08/07/2010 12:15

I would be pushy, I think, if mine went to school

I KNOW DD1 is maybe slightly above in some areas, but she is slightly below in others. I think I would be worried that they wouldn't see the bits she is good at and just see her being clumsy and a bit dreamy. Or the other way round and she wouldn't be given help with the bits she finds hard.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 08/07/2010 12:17

Ob you are like me then. As long as there is no struggle im happy! Anything for an easy life.

Not quite the same as being a teacher (not as much training involved ) but I work at ELC and you would think I live in Britains Brainiest Town. Because every child is advanced and couldnt possibly play with the age appropriate toy because it is far far below the childs intellectual level.

The funniest one I have been asked for was an educational toy that can teach newborns to read.
The saddest one was the parents insisting that toys were too young for their 12 month old when it was clear she just hadnt been taught how to play with them.
Trying not to get completely off topic, Im trying to say that I could see it being annoying for teachers to be told that little Mickey is a genius and should be worshipped.

MathsMadMummy · 08/07/2010 13:04

lol ferret I hadn't even thought of parents asking ELC staff that kind of thing. 'tis both depressing and hilarious!

I was a bit worried about being pushy as I've spoken to the preschool staff, but I just wanted to check DD is behaving herself. they frequently tell me (even when I didn't ask) she's beautifully behaved so I am now very smug proud. especially given that some of the other kids are stroppy nightmares.

so I really empathise with teachers being more concerned that kids know manners and other basic skills. it's a parent's job to teach that stuff!

as an aside, I'm also wondering - what a PP said about it being down to personal taste, what a teacher finds annoying in the parents. Maybe it relates to whether the teacher has kids? I think it's hard to know how desperate you can be to ensure your child gets the best schooling possible, until you actually have your own child? just my random musings, as you were folks...