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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Should we delay school for son?

34 replies

anotherglass · 16/05/2010 19:52

My husband and I are having a debate at the moment over when our DS (3.5 years ) should start school. The issue is not just that our son is a late summer born baby ( August 2006) but that he was born two months early (due date was Oct 2006). Had he born on his due date, he would be starting school in September 2011.
DS has been offered a place at the local primary starting January 2011.
DH wants to turn this down on the basis he thinks the age disadvantage against DS is too great. He wants DS to start in Sept next year, when he is 5.
I can understand his concerns about DS struggling against his older classmates. But my concern is that if is held back and starts with a group of younger children, that he might be bullied for being held back. It is a stigma that he will have to carry for the rest of his school days.
I am looking for views from parents or teachers of summer born/premature children, anything that can help us make a rounded decision. My DH says the evidence is weighed in his favour, but I think it must be based on the individual child, and where they are developmentally.
DS is a very determined character and is able to count to 30, knows the alphabet and can recognises numbers 1-10. He is an outgoing boy so I don't have deep concerns that he wouldn't be able to cope socially with school.Big decision though which we need to make by Friday 17 when acceptances for his school place are due. Many thanks.

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CarGirl · 16/05/2010 19:54

Where do you live, I'm very jealous of people who have the choice!

Original poster

anotherglass · 16/05/2010 20:00

Sorry to hear that. We live in London and are fortunate in that we have an elder boy at the same school, so DS2 was offered assured a place under sibling policy. Decision would be much harder if it was our first son and it was his first choice school that we were turning down and oversubscription big problem here.

OP posts:

CarGirl · 16/05/2010 20:02

So they let you defer entry and start reception a year late? In Surrey they refuse to have children "out of year".

On balance if you have the choice for him to wait and still go into reception then I would do that because he will have a huge advantage both socially and academically. I'm a mum of 3 summer born girls and even though they are doing great it is still obvious even into Key stage 2 that they are the younger ones.

PandaG · 16/05/2010 20:07

are you sure your son will be allowed to start out of year? Here he would have to start in Y1, and may not get into the school anyway if it was already full from those who were moving up from reception, whether there was a sibling in the school or not?

If you are sure he could start in reception, then it maybe worth considering holding him back.

He may be forced to rejoin the cohort he should be with at a later date though - I've rad of that happening on MN before

hocuspontas · 16/05/2010 20:09

Check, but normally he would go straight into year 1 if you defer. And if year 1 was full he wouldn't get a place, sibling or not.

ChislersMummy · 16/05/2010 20:12

Definitely delay it if you have the power to do that. I didn't think that parents in the UK had that choice though....? Does his prematurity give you that option? There is another thread about this very subject in parenting if you have a look.

My son was born a month early and I'm not sure if there's any connection but he was dxd with GDD and he is mildly on the spectrum. I am not starting him 'til five and a half, he will be the eldest in the class, but he needs that advantage. He will be more than ready for school by sep 11 though. And I feel good about this decision. I'd be so nervous if he were starting this September.

There has been so much research that shows that being the eldest in the class increases a child's confidence. NOt only will he enjoy his first year of school more, but he will be better at sport and will do better all round.

He is far more likely to be bullied if he is the youngest child in the class than if he is confident and one of the eldest!

I know in the UK school starting dates seem to be very rigid. Even if you can delay his start til january, he will still be in the same YEAR - just having missed the first few months (i can't see the point of that!).

I miss the NHS and no mistake, but I am very glad that I have the option to delay my son's school start date.

Is there any wriggle room whatsoever? Can you appeal on the grounds that he was born prematurely?

Littlefish · 16/05/2010 20:13

I agree with PandaG and hocuspontas - you need to urgently check the guidelines.

If you turn down a place for for Jan 11, and it turns out that he has to go straight into Year 1 in Sept 11, rather than Reception, then you risk losing his place altogether. Ie. if the class is full in Reception and no-one leaves during the year, then there will not be a place for him in Year 1 either.

CarGirl · 16/05/2010 20:15

I think one of the Birmingham LEAs let's you defer and of course it's the norm in Scotland to choose when they start

Original poster

anotherglass · 16/05/2010 20:16

Thanks for your replies. I am phoning the Council (Southwark) tomorrow to check out their policy. CarGirl, do you think that holding them back might be an issue, as they will always be known as the oldest kids inthe class. If they do well, it will because they "held back". That is my worry! That it will be a stigma. Any parents of older kids who went through this have a view?

OP posts:

CarGirl · 16/05/2010 20:19

I don't think other parents ever notice/comment, they certainly haven't to me. In reception it does tend to be the older children who dominate/control the playground but I've noticed a general tendency for the summer borns to play together and the winter borns to play together but obviously there are exceptions within that.

Just do what's best for him. I will be very surprised if Southwark let them be taught "out of year"

helencw77 · 16/05/2010 20:20

Hi, I agree with the others, I had understood that if you defer entry by a year, you will in fact have to go in to Year 1, which would give him the double disadvantage of having missed Reception, and still being the youngest in his class. If he can wait and then join Reception then I agree that would be an advantage, but in state schools I thought the system was very rigid.

Although I think summer borns are disadvantaged in the first year or two, I think they do all level out and if he's outgoing and confident then he might be ready, my son was old in his year (currently Reception), and that last year at nursery was a killer. In his class, now at the end of Reception, it's not obvious who the summer borns are, there are older children who are behind, and young ones who are in the top groups and who have come on in leaps and bounds over the year. Statistically, a third of the class will be summer borns so it's not really a case of "the others will all be a year older".......

UniS · 16/05/2010 20:24

Be very carefull. check double check and check again before you turn down a YR place. You may not get a Y1 place at same school, you may not be allowed to back year.

You should be able to defer one or 2 terms but not beyond easter. By Jan your son will be 4 and 4 months. Its 8 months away from now. Think how different his abilities were when he was 2.10 to now.

hocuspontas · 16/05/2010 20:25

OP, sorry but I think you are overthinking these 'stigmas'. Accept the place now and when the time comes, either you will feel your son is ready for school or you can make another decision then. You can't second guess what other children will think of him! You say he is able and confident - what's the problem?

ChislersMummy · 16/05/2010 20:27

Is it a stigma??

Where I live it is seen like, a pushy parent thing! (I am doing it but I have good reasons for doing it)

activate · 16/05/2010 20:29

it is less fair to send a 5 year old straight into year 1 with no experience of school as a reception child - reception is far easier - he will be shell-shocked and should go in Jan

paddingtonbear1 · 16/05/2010 20:31

Based on what you've said here, I would send him in Sept. If you kept him back, he'd have to start in Y1 in 2011 and not reception.
All kids are different. dd is summer-born and young for age, wasn't ready to start at just over 4, and has struggled. My friend's dd who is only a few weeks older has been fine.
From what you've said, your son already knows more at this stage than dd did when she started school.

Original poster

anotherglass · 16/05/2010 20:58

Just checked the Council's website and no guidance so will have to call in the morning. ChislersMummy, thanks for the tip about the other thread, will check it out. Thanks for all replies so far.

OP posts:

ShoshanaBlue · 16/05/2010 21:32

If you do manage to keep a child out of year, and to be honest, I've only ever known it in isolated cases of very severe special needs, which I don't think are applicable to your child who sounds just like an ordinary 3 year old to me.... then there will be problems applying for high schools. You will either have to miss a year of primary - or apply a year late and risk getting the only school in your authority that will have places left in his year group.

seeker · 16/05/2010 21:44

I don't think you can defer entry to reception. You can defer entry to school, but that means your child will go straight into year 1 without the introduction to school provided by reception.

I would send him in September, but use the fact that he is below statutory school age to take him out on the occasional Friday if he's tired, or to keep him to half days for a while.

beccagrace2 · 16/05/2010 23:03

hi my ds, june birthday, started reception sept 08, although i really didn't feel he was ready. I was right, he made very little academic progress during that year so was able to start reception again sept 09. he is now doing well and will continue in this year group even though he is 2 months older than some of his class. no problem at all with the school, they were happy to support me and now seem to feel it was the best thing for him too.

NoahAndTheWhale · 16/05/2010 23:12

It may be that there are two intakes in the year so that all younger children start in January.

I agree it seems unlikely you will be able to defer the place in reception, although I do have a friend who has done that with her DS due to various SN he has.

NoahAndTheWhale · 16/05/2010 23:20

Have found this on the Southwark website - if you go to the first link and to paragraph 1.3, it says

Parents however will not be able to defer a child?s entry beyond the beginning of the term after the child?s fifth birthday, nor beyond the academic year for which the original application was accepted.

That suggests you wouldn't be able to defer until September 2012 and for your DS to enter reception then.

MollieO · 16/05/2010 23:23

Would he be bored doing another year at nursery? Ds was born 7 weeks early - arrived in June rather than August so still in the same school year. Big difference between him and the more socially adept Sept/Oct borns when they started in Reception. Less so now in year 1.

I was guided by his nursery teacher on whether he was ready for school or not. Where we live summer borns get no time in reception if they go to state school (no rising fives) so I chose private school to ensure a year in reception. I also did a detailed profile (required by the school) on the particular issues with ds so they could understand that some of his developmental difficulties were due to his prematurity rather than his age.

He did well in reception but has had some issues in year 1 due to problems with his memory (developmental from being a prem) and these are being addressed.

TheklaVonStift · 16/05/2010 23:28

There is a school of thought that suggests that it is a disadvantage to summer born children tp start school in January not September - by the end of Reception they are only younger than the autumn born children, but have had less school time as well.

Also, if you were allowed to enter him out of year (ie wait a year to start reception) check very carefully on what the situation will be in the secondary schools you might want him to attend. Some may be very rigid about being in the correct year for age, and you may, be delaying now, be ruling out options for him 7 years down the line.

lolster · 16/05/2010 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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