Should we delay school for son?

[anotherglass]

My husband and I are having a debate at the moment over when our DS (3.5 years ) should start school. The issue is not just that our son is a late summer born baby ( August 2006) but that he was born two months early (due date was Oct 2006). Had he born on his due date, he would be starting school in September 2011.
DS has been offered a place at the local primary starting January 2011.
DH wants to turn this down on the basis he thinks the age disadvantage against DS is too great. He wants DS to start in Sept next year, when he is 5.
I can understand his concerns about DS struggling against his older classmates. But my concern is that if is held back and starts with a group of younger children, that he might be bullied for being held back. It is a stigma that he will have to carry for the rest of his school days.
I am looking for views from parents or teachers of summer born/premature children, anything that can help us make a rounded decision. My DH says the evidence is weighed in his favour, but I think it must be based on the individual child, and where they are developmentally.
DS is a very determined character and is able to count to 30, knows the alphabet and can recognises numbers 1-10. He is an outgoing boy so I don't have deep concerns that he wouldn't be able to cope socially with school.Big decision though which we need to make by Friday 17 when acceptances for his school place are due. Many thanks.

i would definitely not send him the difference a year makes is huge at this age especially imho with little boys . in scotland the cut of date is march and i have 2 boys who were born just before we decided to defer entry as we felt they would always be running to catch up .they have never been teased bullied .children are very accepting at this age . we felt that if we had sent them had then had needed to hold them back at a later stage the likelihood of being teased would be much greater because other children would be more aware they had been kept back a year .
now with older children in secondary delighted we made the decision as there is so much pressure to make subject choices in early secondary when even the oldest at 12 are unsure what career path they want to follow .
in the long term when he moves on to higher education being 18 nearly 19 will be much easier than being 17 going on 18 in terms of general maturity and ability to cope with the demands of being away from home etc even little things you cant do at 17 but can at 18 can be an issue eg going into a pub etc

Can you actually hold him back to start in FS2 when he is just 5?

Most schools would insist he start with his peer group in yr 1 which I wouldn't personally recommend, tho roisin has done this with great success for her DS1.

I see that almost everyone else has said this about him starting in yr 1 in fact!

It does depend on the child it's true. Speaking broadly and without knowing your DS I would have him start with everyone else in his year /age group.

I thought you might be interested in this document published by my local county council - which advises headteachers on the process for delaying entry to school in the case of premature children who may or may not also be summer born.

I went looking for it because I have a friend whose DS was premature (should have been November born but actually was born in August) with the double whammy of being summer born. Her DS is currently repeating Yr1 as the school (and parents) feel that this would really help him.

Good luck.

well, assuming you really do have the choice (and you must check this), I would say from experience that there can be a bit of a stigma, but not initially - it doesn't really kick in until they are much older. Sports teams can be an issue too (being too old to be on a team, as some tournaments/matches/sports have strict rules on age. If you do choose to defer you must, must get in writing from the LEA that they will allow the deferal to continue right through secondary education, or you may find your ds has to skip a year at some stage (most commonly at the end of primary or start of secondary) which is not ideal.

As far as I know if you defer they have to go straight into year 1 and you have to reapply for their place meaning if reception is full you won't get a year 1 place.

If you have got a place at school you can defer until the summer term without reapplying. You could then go part time for the summer term because legally he doesn't have to be in school until September 2011 (the term after he turns 5)

One thing to beware of, a very serious consideration: A child at our school was kept back a year (due to sn)and started reception a year late. It was fine throughout primary school BUT we were rung by the local authority just before his 12th birthday and told he must start high school! The poor kid had to go from yr 5 to yr 7. We were told we were not insured for over 11s in primary school. Some boroughs even have the policy that they must start high school in the academic year they are 12. Be very careful, these rules change all the time.

Thank you so much for all your replies and links to the council info and other documents, much appreciated ladies!
There is so much to consider. I phoned the council this morning and no immediate answer but a call was logged. However, I did speak to the headteacher this morning ( when I dropped my elder son) and in his opinion we should accept the place now as he thinks it makes little difference down the line when they are older. He has been a headteacher at that school for 25 years so is pretty experienced. I am not going to accept or decline until I hear back from the council but at this stage it looks as though we will have little choice from general feedback on your experiences. Also, I have taken on board comments from posters the consequences of being 'held back' for him, when he is older and other children far more aware of this. Many thanks for your input. Will update once I hear back from the Council.

Hi, Ive just been reading through this forum and am about to face the same situation. My son was born on the 25th August when his due date was the 2nd November (3 months prem). This means that he has the disadvantage of being a summer baby combined with the issues that can manifest in later education. We have weighed up the pros and cons and unless I'm missing something, there are almost no disadvantages to holding him back until the following September. I have a letter from a senior neo consultant that backs our case, however I doubt it will help and the reality is that we are going to have a battle on our hands to delay his start. All we are asking is for a school to go by the date that he should have been born instead of the date he was. Has anyone been successful with anything like this and if so, any advice would be greatly appreciated

Just wondered how the Auust born premature children are getting on at school now.

My DD was born August 2008 but was due end of Sept and is due to start nursery attached to primary school in Sept 11. Teacher at the Nursery said to me last week'I'm sure you aren't making up her date of birth but she doesn't look old enough to be coming to nursery this September'

I was gutted considering I have no choice over her year goup, and I agree it is wrong that she should be in this year anyway.