Did part-time nursery affect your child when starting reception?

[VeryFondOfWalking]

... Would you say it affected them negatively (or positively!) on starting reception?

The reason I ask is my son will start school in 2028. He currently does two days a week at nursery, two days with our lovely nanny and Fri-Sun with me and DH. Right now this routine works great for us. He gets used a group setting at nursery, but with our nanny and ourselves he has lots of days out, swimming lessons, toddler groups, play dates, and downtime at home. He's a very happy little lad, and I think we're actually incredibly lucky to have a set up like this.

But more recently we've been comments (particularly from DH family...) that he should be spending more time in nursery before school. Lots of 'how will he cope', 'it will such a long week', 'it will be such a shock to the system', 'better get him ready now, he won't know what's hit him'.

I know school is a big change. But I think he gets the best of all worlds with his current schedule, I don't want to rush it away. (His nursery is lovely so it's not a reflection on them - we chose it because it's laid back and outdoorsy, small groups, it suits him. The pre school year is all forest school which he'll love. But obviously there is only so much that he can experience there). But are they right? Will he struggle at school having had so little time in that sort of setting?

Interested to hear anyone's experiences if your children didn't do full weeks at nursery before school. Did it do them a disservice or were they just fine?

He’s only what 2/3? By the time they are starting reception they have a lot more energy to spend a full day, and also reception isn’t full on LEAAAARNING, it’s a lot of play. Prioritize spending time with him now before he has to go to school fulltime!

He’s getting the nursery/school setting experience and the attention he needs right now as a small bub. It’s fine!!

Imo i don't think it's the norm to do 5 days of nursery/pre-school!

Mine did 3 and was totally fine. It is all down to the child and it sounds like he's very adaptable and used to different settings and routines.

Don't let people make you overthink this.

Both dd's settled fantastically into school with quite different nursery experiences due to the age gap and funding difference etc

Dd1 did 2 days and dd2 3 full days (8-6). You don't say whether your child does full sessions or part but I do think the length of days has more impact, as they are used to being there for that long stretch of time, especially if they are also going to be in wrap around care. If possible I also recommend not having a huge summer break before school, if your nursery does all year round, as that can get a bit confusing I think.

Oh yes I hadn't clocked he's not even starting school next year! Let him be!!

I don't have any personal experience of this situation but just want to say that I think these family members need to back off with their judgey comments and 'concerns'. I know kids who didn't go to nursery at all before they started school and seemed to do just fine. I know kids who were in full-time nursery from an early age and greatly struggled with the school transition.

Sometimes kids with SAHPs or looked after by family seem to have a much better preparation for school than nursery kids... and I say this as a mum whose own DD is in full-time nursery.

If your kid is used to socialising with other kids, and to some degree of structure and routine, and has built at least some of the skills that are ideal for starting school by the time they're old enough to go, they will be in a good position. A lot of these things can be picked up without nursery, eg through toddler groups, classes, get togethers with other kids or through structured directed time organised by the people looking after the kid at home.

And believe me, if your kid was going to nursery ever day, people would fine stuff to judge and criticise about that too! People judge and criticise whatever you do as a mum. You need to do what seems best for your child and your family, whatever others say.

They are being ridiculous.
First it is 2 whole years away which is a massive gap at this age.

Second you do not need to do full time nursery to be school ready.

You do not have to be doing something 2 years early to be 'ready' to do it at the right time.

My own only ever did half days and only did a full week of 5 half days in the last nursery term.

Plus it is OK to be tired when starting school and to take time to adjust.

He’s got 2 years until he starts school?? I’d maybe be thinking about upping nursery next year, so his preschool year, but right now the only reason I’d change anything is to save money because personally I’d find it hard to justify the costs employing a nanny when I had a lovely nursery. But you do you. One thing to keep in mind is that next year, his preschool year, the number of kids his age at toddler groups and available for playdates might dry up because they’re all in nursery/preschool most of the time. But right now at what age 2, he definitely doesn’t need more nursery. Are the family making these comments confused about when he’s due to start or something?

You know in the 80s kids just did a couple of mornings a week playgroup, then off to school and were fine. He sounds like he has a great balance and secure relationships which will help him. They will always be tired starting school but will cope. Mine did three mornings of nursery the year before school, and with a childminder a couple of afternoons.

Your DH's family will always find something to comment on, tune them out.
DD did 2 days a week at nursery (M+F), 3 at home with me, DH or a grandparent (T,W+T). We spent several months talking about how she would go to school everyday in the week, after we knew which school she was going to. She settled fine, just one small argument on the Tuesday of her first full week as she didn't understand why she had to go again as she had been yesterday!

DD did two long mornings a week at nursery/preschool from 3.5 for the year before reception. She hadn’t done any childcare before then and with lockdowns her world was very small for a long time. I had sleepless nights over the 6 weeks before she started school about her not having done enough time away from me and hating school but I wish I hadn’t because she bounced in on the first day and settled in happily and well. I don’t regret having her at home most of the time till then, the time she had with her grandma, the freedom and flexibility, making bread, coffee with friends, long walks, just being together. I’m doing the same with my younger DC. School is 14 years of rules and structure and bending your family time around the school calendar. You have a wonderful balance now, you’re doing brilliantly.

“We’re happy with our current arrangements”

Hmm in the 80's and actually into the oughts DCs did both half days and January starts to school as standard. Now they go in ft from the Septembet

DD did 4 days a week (8.30-5) from 1. We changed it to 8.45 to 3.15 in her last year of preschool - but that was because we moved, and, had she been born a day earlier, would have been at school already (and work let me work 4 days over 5; previously I was 4 days)

Honestly, go with your gut. When they start school, there are kids who have never been to nursery all the way up to those who were there 7.30-6.30. This was certainky the case in DD's cohort (now y2). Reception teachers are used to it. As long as they are ready to be there (no nappies, can talk, can sit down quietly, can put own coat etc on) then it is all good.

Posted twice!

Thank you everyone, these are all very reassuring and speak to my inner inkling that said family members are being daft. @DiscoElysia I suspect you're spot on - if he was in nursery lots we'd be getting comments about that too!

His nursery days are 8-3 all year round. So pretty similar to school days only without the holidays. Flexibility in my job means he won't have to do after school clubs in reception unless he wants to.

I'm all for making school as easy a transition as possible, but if I were to follow some people's logic he would be attending nursery full time from the womb so as to spare him the change in his routine😂

It might be in his preschool year we try to find some dedicated pre-school groups rather than the toddler groups if such a thing exists...

@AnneLovesGilbert That is such a lovely way of putting it, and you're completely right. Glad your DD loved school!

@HushTheNoise yes, I'm a 90s kid and I did a few mornings at kindergarten then off I went. As far as I know I managed fine!

Like I said, my MIL is one of the most persistent about preparing for this change (which as many of you rightly pointed out is 2 whole years away!) and at the same time has a preoccupation with 'very long days'. Every conversation about DS or her other grandchildren at school or nursery has a lot of hand wringing and 'oh dear but it's such a long day!' I got a bit snappy a while ago and explained that a 3pm pick up for my son involves me wrapping up work from 2.30pm. It's essentially a half day at my desk! Frankly it's a miracle I've been able to maintain any kind of career at all! (Sorry, rant over...)

Sounds great!

I would taper up slightly as you get nearer but you don’t need to do a full Mon - Fri imo.

You could add some mornings so he gets used to up and out or add an extra day but I don’t think you need to until 6 months before.

Sounds great!

I would taper up slightly as you get nearer but you don’t need to do a full Mon - Fri imo.

You could add some mornings so he gets used to up and out or add an extra day but I don’t think you need to until 6 months before.

I’m a Reception teacher. He will be absolutely fine. Children start school with all sorts of childcare experiences.

My son has just started school. He’d only ever been to childcare twice a week before that.

He’s absolutely fine. No issues at all.

It was extremely unusual in my son's private preschool to do full time. Vast majority were 2-4 days. He was 3 days 8-5. He's been absolutely fine in reception, which he's just started. At the school nursery in the same site, all the children do 'full time ' except that actually means 8.30-2.30. So arguably my son was more experienced in staying longer all day, which he now does for after school club on some days.
It's absolutely bonkers to send a child to preschool childcare when you don't need to. They are going to have 12-14 years of mandatory attendance, why start earlier than you need to! Let them enjoy their freedom.

I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years. I have 3 aged 10 and under and have done all combinations: stay at home mum with no nursery, part-time nursery, nanny and nursery.

I believe the answer varies based on 1) the child’s personality/cognitive abilities and 2) the quality/style of childcare provided (whether it be SAHM or nursery or other).

My first dc and his cousin were entirely at home before school and in hindsight I think it disadvantaged them majorly. His cousin is so painfully shy and it’s still (10 years later) a big issue for them at school - I think nursery would have really benefited them and my first dc. My third is sooooo clever and like a sponge at her incredible nursery (set in beautiful sprawling grounds). I just don’t see how I could have ever given her those experiences myself. They also offer school time hours (9-3) which I feel makes it less intense. Including her 2 hour nap it’s not much ‘awake time’ away from her family. However, 8-6pm five days a week at a poor quality nursery is likely to be detrimental.

So - it depends!

Both my daughters were doing 4 days at nursery in their pre school year and both adjusted fine to reception.

The one who only did 2 days from age 1 struggled with nursery much more than the one who did 3.5 days from age 1.

If it works, dont change it.
If for example you nanny leaves next year... consider more preschool.