Did part-time nursery affect your child when starting reception?

[VeryFondOfWalking]

... Would you say it affected them negatively (or positively!) on starting reception?

The reason I ask is my son will start school in 2028. He currently does two days a week at nursery, two days with our lovely nanny and Fri-Sun with me and DH. Right now this routine works great for us. He gets used a group setting at nursery, but with our nanny and ourselves he has lots of days out, swimming lessons, toddler groups, play dates, and downtime at home. He's a very happy little lad, and I think we're actually incredibly lucky to have a set up like this.

But more recently we've been comments (particularly from DH family...) that he should be spending more time in nursery before school. Lots of 'how will he cope', 'it will such a long week', 'it will be such a shock to the system', 'better get him ready now, he won't know what's hit him'.

I know school is a big change. But I think he gets the best of all worlds with his current schedule, I don't want to rush it away. (His nursery is lovely so it's not a reflection on them - we chose it because it's laid back and outdoorsy, small groups, it suits him. The pre school year is all forest school which he'll love. But obviously there is only so much that he can experience there). But are they right? Will he struggle at school having had so little time in that sort of setting?

Interested to hear anyone's experiences if your children didn't do full weeks at nursery before school. Did it do them a disservice or were they just fine?

My two did 2 full days (8-6) and 2 short days (9-3) the year before school started.

Tbh school is a whole different ball game so it still wears them out mentally, figuring everything out.

My two are both May birthdays and I would say you could still see the difference in their energy levels vs an October baby in Y4. I think that is a far bigger factor than nursery or not.

The whole point of reception class is that it is the year where young children get ready for school. Hence it's called reception, rather than year 1. Reception is when they do this transition. It's play based!

Your parents are basically suggesting you go full time at 2/3 to prepare for the reception year where they will prepare for 'proper school' in Y1.

Nonsense - you don't need to start 2 years in advance, and full time nursery is a lot for a 2/3 year old. He'll be more tired now if you put him in full time nursery than he will starting reception at 4 - he will be more developmentally ready for 5 days by then.

As long as they've had a little bit of experience of being in groups of children / learning environments by reception they will be fine!

I teach Reception. We have a high number of EAL children who are new(ish) to the country and some have never left their parents. Some of them definitely struggle to adapt to 5 full days at school every week. Any nursery is better than no nursery in terms of adapting to school. However, I don't notice any difference between those who do full time nursery and those who do 2 or 3 days in terms of how they settle into school. Sometimes they struggle to adapt to the longer days if they've only ever done half days at pre-school (so mornings or afternoons only). As your son goes for 2 full days though, he'll already be used up that.

That said, it's 2 years away. Ignore anyone who is trying to rush you into getting him into full time nursery. Enjoy him being 2 and spending quality time with you. It's always good for children to spend quality time with their parents. If you wish to change the set up so he does 3 or 4 days at nursery next year, that would be up to you, but don't do it just because other people are telling you to. You definitely don't need to change anything this year if the current set up suits your family dynamic. If you do add another nursery day or two next year, I'd drop a nanny day or two rather than his day with you. Family time is so important, especially when they're so young. He'll be getting a lot from nursery, but his day with you is just as valuable in other ways and you'll definitely miss that time when he's at school full time.

My son didn't do full weeks, he coped when it was time to go full time school.
In hindsight i wish i had spent more time writing and holding a pencil etc. He is year2 now and caught up, but was behind his peers at first when it came to a few things.

Neither of mine did traditional nursery. One did 2 days forest school for preschool year. The other did 3 days.

The older one who just did 2 days took about 3 weeks to settle into school and had a few more social struggles (but also has an autism diagnosis so would likely have had this at some point). He's now in high school and adapted great.

The younger one settled into school no problem and is reading Year 5 level reading books despite just starting Year 3 and never doing phonics until he started reception. But he started reception already knowing one of the children from his forest school (my eldest knew noone) so.that probably helped him settle too.

I did feel the pressure to put them into a more traditional nursery or pre school but I think that the social experience matters more than the academic one so if still attending groups.and interacting with other children then that's probably enough

My eldest has just started school and she attended nursery two days a week 11months-2.5 and then three days a week up until she started school. The jump from 2 to 3 days made her exhausted for a couple of months but she got used to it eventually. We’re only four weeks in to school now and by Friday she’s emotional and shattered. We have more emotional outbursts but overall she’s settled really well and I think after another month or so, she’ll be used to her new routine.
If you don’t need to put your lo in nursery more then I wouldn’t. Some children start school having never been in a childcare setting at all and they manage. Expect some extra tiredness to begin with but they’ll soon settle and get used to it.

Mine were only ever part time in nursery and no difficulty transitioning to school. I only did 2 x 1 1/2 hours at playgroup before I went to school in the 80’s. Children going to nursery for more days is because more families have 2 working parents rather than to make the school transition easier.

Ds1 was in nursery from 1 year, 5 days a week, and ds2 was in 5 afternoons a week age 3-4. Ds1 had the harder transition to school!

Sounds like you already have a great set up for your toddler @VeryFondOfWalking

My oldest started full time nursery - 9 to 3 - the year before he was due to start primary school, nursery was part of the school. He settled straight away, loads of friends. Still very sociable. He didn't have any previous childcare outside of family before that.

Youngest was in full time childcare from 10 months, much less social child. He does well at school, excellent exam results but he is still quiet and has a few friends. Don't think he will suddenly change when he leaves school.

You know your child is happy and has a good balance for his own personality and it works for your family, that's all that matters.

I agree with a lot of the comments on here. Take the negative opinions with a pinch of salt. A couple of days at nursery a week is plenty to get them used to group settings.
My in-laws said all sorts of nonsense before my first DD started school and it did worry me, but she was fine. Kids are way more resilient than we give them credit for, they generally adapt easily and quickly.

I remember the advice someone gave me at my baby shower “take all advice with a nod and a smile and do what works for you”. And it’s been such a sanity saving mantra!

No not at all. All three of mine did approx 2.5 days in pre-school (school hours).
FWIW reception class is a pretty big shift from nursery anyway, mostly due to the ratios so some children struggle anyway. Others find their feet quickly and there’s no issue.

You’re exposing your son to being away from you and to socialising with other adults and children. This is a good thing.

How old will he be when he starts reception? Just turned 4? Or nearly 5?

Does your local primary have a preschool?

My daughter went to nursery for two half days a week for a term and a half before she started Reception, and before that she was with me all the time. I wasn’t going to send her to nursery at all, but decided that it would be good to prepare her for being away from me. She didn’t struggle in the slightest when she started school and never had so much as a wobbly lip when I left her in the morning, whereas several other children cried every morning for ages. I don’t think she really benefited from being at nursery, and she was far more advanced in reading, writing, and maths than any of her classmates when she started school. If I’d had a second child, I wouldn’t have bothered with nursery or pre school at all

My twins were in nursery 4 days a week 8-6 before starting reception and it was still a huge shock to their systems! They weren’t completely loopy for a while. Don’t know if it really makes much difference or if it’s down to your individual kid.

Mine went mornings only 5 days a week for the year prior to starting school, this worked well but I didn’t need childcare

Mine both did a combination of nursery, days with me and days with grandparents - both settled into reception just fine

Their comments are weird. Pushing him too early into a long day wont do him any good.

@ClarksBarks He’ll be nearly 5, he’s an autumn birthday

My daughter did 3 days at nursery and then straight to school 5 days a week. The school day is slightly shorter obviously but other than that it is more time at school, she struggles a little, but not massively with the change. It's a shame all round that she loses that time at home with family but I don't think it's made it harder for her to settle by having a mix of time at nursery and home.

Hi, my daughter has just started reception and only went to nursery 2 days a week (she had 1 day spent with her Nanna, and my 2 days off through the week with me). She was absolutely fine at nursery when she went, she went to classes or often did things that involved playing with other children when she was with me - like going to the park/softplay. She is very happy at school and hasn’t been affected by only being at nursery 2 days a week - she has had no trouble making friends and seems to be taking everything in just fine!

Our youngst went twice a week as I worked shifts. It didn't affect her at all starting reception.

Lots of schools have a staggered start in reception
it’s interesting to see that even those children who had been at nursery 9-3 each day are (there are obviously some exceptions) exhausted by the end of their first full week at school

Ive had kids start rec who have never been to nursery, kids to do a mix and kids who are 8-6M-F…honestly the ones I remember who struggled longer term are all full time nursery kids.

it’s a shock to their system, they might ask ‘what am I doing today?’ And be surprised that it’s school, again, for a few month, but honestly it’s not going to be the cause of a larger issue. If there is a bigger issue you wouldn’t have prevented it by sending them to nursery full time.

DD starts school next September and does three days a week in preschool. I wouldn’t want her in full time but I do feel for the year before school more than two days at preschool or nursery works best.

Let him have the flexibility in schedule as long as you can! However I found once he stppped napping two long days were too much for my son he’s doing better doing school hours every day now