Parent's evening, can they do this?

[fartingrainbows]

So, first parent's evening of the year, I have very little contact with the class (haven't met the teacher yet!!) as I work full time. So parent's evening is important. They offered two days this week. One was fine, the other neither of us could make at all (no room for manoeuvre, I have my own parent's evening then as I'm a teacher too) I sent my slip back the next day requesting the day I could make. I now find out that they have prioritised siblings, worked all their appointments out first then given "singles" what was left over. We got the day we can't make.
They are refusing to arrange a different time because the teacher has already given up two evenings. That means I can't meet with the teacher at all.
Not a teacher bashing thread but... how would you proceed with this? It seems unfair that we've missed out not because of our lateness in returning the slip, but because children with siblings in the school are prioritised.

Ask them for a solution. You cannot attend day x, school has no appointments on day y. How to they plan to let you know how child is getting on?
Phone call? An email conversation? A letter at the very least.

I'm guessing the siblings need to have an appointment on the same day as each other so that the parents don't have to go on both days?

If so, I can understand the reasoning. It's just bad luck that it's filled up the day that you needed. The unreasonable bit is them not giving an option to see the teacher at a mutually agreeable time on a different day.

Is there a class WhatsApp/Facebook group? Where you can ask if anyone is able to swop? That’s what normally happens here

I've always made a point of writing on the slip why another slot is inconvenient - work, distance to travel etc. And I feel this has been taken into consideration. So going forward try this approach. But yes ask for their solution.

And emphasized that you are also a teacher so can't just pop by any time.

That was the system that our school used to work to, the appointments were all worked out by someone by hand. I expect it was beyond tedious. Now they use Parentmail and it's the parents responsibility to sort it and it's easier all round. If you have more than one child and/or limited time then you log on the minute the system goes live.

I'd just ask for a phone call.

There has been a significant amount of moaning on the WhatsApp, clearly one day was much more popular than the other so no swaps available. I appreciate that this is a headache for the school if everybody wants the same day, but I'm not doing it to be awkward and just wish they'd meet me half way. My dc has made a less than stellar start to the term so I'd really value the opportunity to touch base and see how we can support him.

I would make contact with Head of Year and explain you cannot attend on the allocated date because as a teacher you also have to work at a parents evening. Ask them what they suggest in order for you to meet with the teacher either in person or virtually ( surely you could skype?)

Why do areas always have them so close together?

I've always made a point of writing on the slip why another slot is inconvenient - work, distance to travel etc. And I feel this has been taken into consideration. So going forward try this approach. But yes ask for their solution

I did this, always do and it has worked in the past. They know I'm a teacher as I've collaborated with their school on professional projects.
I communicate with the teacher exclusively by emailing the office and asking for it to be forwarded. I could work out the teacher's own work email as they're standard across the authority but would that be a really cheeky thing to do?

I could phone or Skype I suppose but I just really wanted to meet his teacher face to face. I'm rubbish on the phone and would forget what I wanted to ask. Plus dh wants to be there which makes things trickier.

FaceTime? Phone call over Lynch?

Lunch not lynch

They just put a sheet of paper up on the classroom door at our school, it has two days and various slots from 3-6pm and you pick a slot and write your name down. No use if you don’t do pick up or drop offs though 🙄

I'd just ask for an email or after school one day.
I think it's fair to accommodate siblings otherwise parents would have to go home and come back for the next appointment.
Ours used to give sahp/ siblings the earlier appointments and working parents later.
Maybe suggest they do this in future, or even have a list at school entrance to note your preferred times.

Two evenings for the teacher is more than enough, some schools manage it all on one night.

I'm a teacher and if a parent can't make a meeting we'd meet them at another time. We have a target where we have to meet all the parents regardless how. Obviously if they had a rubbish reason I would be very unsympathetic but for something like work I would definitely try to meet with you and dh husband before or after school. The teachers at the school will have meetings. I have met with working parents after an evening staff meeting. If there is no major issues it would just be a ten minute chat.
I think the school is being very ridged and unreasonable. I would ring the school and tell them your reason. So basically they're saying because the teacher has given up two evenings, she's not available for a chat the rest of the school year (which is basically what the first parents evening is). Would they let one of there teachers off a parents evening because their child had one? I doubt it

It is good of the school to try to make sure sibling appts are on the same day. Even that, in itself is no small task.
I too was going to suggest you put the reason you can only do the one day on the slip, but see you have done that.
If it were my class, and I knew you couldn't do it because of your own PE, I'd see if you wanted to come after school one day.
In your case, I would ask the school what they suggest the solution is, especially as you feel your dc hasn't had the easiest start to the year and you would really like to meet the teacher.

Are you asking for another time of an evening, or are you willing to be there straight after school? I have no problem meeting after school or before school, but I refuse to hang around until 6:30pm of an evening. You need to arrange to leave your school straight on the bell and high tail it over to the school, then they should be able to meet you.

Yes, i agree with what Midnite said. Or are they refusing to meet after school too?

We do this with bookable slots online.

Are you asking for another time of an evening, or are you willing to be there straight after school? I have no problem meeting after school or before school, but I refuse to hang around until 6:30pm of an evening. You need to arrange to leave your school straight on the bell and high tail it over to the school, then they should be able to meet you.

Yes, I can do this as a one off no problem. I can be there fifteen minutes after their bell goes or at a push, arrange to go during the day using PPA time. At the moment though they're not engaging, just saying "you were offered a slot and that's it"
I think I'll wait until after half term now and make a fresh attempt to "discuss concerns" then.

I find it somewhat amazing that they aren't offering you the professional courtesy of an alternative date/time given that you are a teacher! Are they such a stellar school that they don't care about parent feedback for OFSTED?

It’s not welcoming to any parent if you don’t offer to see the parent privately: teacher or not! Quite often parents are unavailable due to work commitments and I’ve never known a school to be so unfriendly and unaccommodating.

I would ask for a private appointment directly with the teacher. Say what you are concerned about. This should be a common courtesy!

Are they such a stellar school that they don't care about parent feedback for OFSTED?

You are joking? How do you think the Ofsted free form parents feedback is used?

Is it possible that only one of you attend? As far as I can make out your partner can do the other day. If this is correct, the solution is glaringly obvious.