Parent's evening, can they do this?

[fartingrainbows]

So, first parent's evening of the year, I have very little contact with the class (haven't met the teacher yet!!) as I work full time. So parent's evening is important. They offered two days this week. One was fine, the other neither of us could make at all (no room for manoeuvre, I have my own parent's evening then as I'm a teacher too) I sent my slip back the next day requesting the day I could make. I now find out that they have prioritised siblings, worked all their appointments out first then given "singles" what was left over. We got the day we can't make.
They are refusing to arrange a different time because the teacher has already given up two evenings. That means I can't meet with the teacher at all.
Not a teacher bashing thread but... how would you proceed with this? It seems unfair that we've missed out not because of our lateness in returning the slip, but because children with siblings in the school are prioritised.

@Winteriscomingfast former teacher here and as far as I understood it, the information from parents was taken very seriously

They should so be offering you an appointment at another time. I have seen parents before / free school on a different night to patents' evening as it really is so important to speak with all parents. People have been unable to attend for various reasons, including illness and I always arrange another appointment.

Parents' evening, not patents!!

I work full time so my husband and I take it in turns to go to Parent's evenings - could that be an option for you? Alternatively where we've had concerns or problems I've emailed to request an appointment (sounds more formal than it was) so we both took time off to see my son's teacher in that case.

When DS1 was at primary there were a couple of occasions where I couldn't make either of the dates given. I had an appointment straight after school on a different day. That is also what we would do at the school I work at.
The fact that they are being so unhelpful would really annoy me. I would write to the head, state that if they wouldn't be reasonable I would be writing to the chair of governors.

At the primary school my dc goes to they'd arrange another time for you to come in.

At the secondary school, well, it's a free for all. There's an fancy online booking system that opens at 8 pm. If you're not online by 801, all of the the slots have gone. It a a pain.

So what actually happens is that you often find a teacher tu bing Kate, you kiss you slot for the next teacher and parents get irate and eventually it's just a free for all. The teachers seems completely exhausted, like we're/theyre doing some weird speed dating, but with no rules.

Anyway, it wasn't about that, sorry! Just call the school.

teacher running late, you miss your slot even. Cracked screen means autocorrect is having a field day!

Is it possible that only one of you attend? As far as I can make out your partner can do the other day. If this is correct, the solution is glaringly obvious.

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies

Well yes I suppose it would be but no neither of us can make it, he works away for several days each week so to make this appointment he'd need to travel several hundred miles.

Thanks all, I'm going to write to the class teacher explaining why we won't be at the appointment, if no further help is offered then I'll have "things to discuss" and make an appointment after half term.

wouldn't it be just as convenient to do on phone for both of you parents to be present?

Write a list down of things you want to talk about.

My school has had to really clamp down on offering after-school appointments for those who can't make one of the two parents' evenings, as it was becoming a magnet for lots of people who reckoned it was a better option as they thought they could get longer than 10 minutes to talk.
We now only do it in extreme circumstances.

Our school is really clear that if you can't make the days/times then they would be happy for you to arrange a mutually convenient time with the teacher. Seems odd to be so intractable really.

But it is a complete pain. For parent's evening, you're all fired up and "in the zone." Spiel and patter ready, trays and classroom immaculate, everything sorted and at-your-fingertips. Huge sigh of relief when it's over (until the following term). But then along come all these "stragglers." And after a full and exhausting day teaching, likely with no proper break or time to nip for a wee, there is someone at your door, expecting to start chatting straightaway before you've even drawn breath, and you have to dig out the appropriate tray, find their books (or remember to get the child to take time out of their lesson to do it), locate your notes, plus any supplementary notes about levels/assessment etc) and sit down for what is invariably expected by the parent to be a much longer session than the allocated slot at parent's evening.
And then probably rinse and repeat every day of the ensuing week for all the other parents who "forgot" to come, or "had to go out" or just fancied special treatment.

Do you also work evenings?

This is awful. Complain to Ofsted.

Complain to Ofsted.
Yeah right. Excellent idea. And then complain again when you discover that your child's school can't retain or recruit any teachers.
Ffs.

Actually I am a teacher. This is why I think it's awful and needs sorting out.

Given you're also a teacher, how would you want a parent to address this if it happened at your school? It seems like you must have a bit of an inside track into how best to handle issues like this!

You're a teacher, and yet you're seriously recommending someone reports a school to Ofsted? Hope you've got your own house firmly in order, and no one has the opportunity to do this to you.

Yes, we're ready.

Do you also work evenings

@EleanorReally are you asking me this?

Yes I completely get the argument that desperate appointments are a pain in the arse however, I would happily have gone at any time suggested on the other evening, as would dh, we just aren't able to do this one.

I won't be making any complaints I don't think though, will just be pleasantly persistent until I have actually met my child's teacher (for the first time)

Given you're also a teacher, how would you want a parent to address this if it happened at your school? It seems like you must have a bit of an inside track into how best to handle issues like this!

Despite only being a few miles apart our schools cater to a very, very different type of family. We are flexible and quite creative in accommodating parents but then we're usually the ones chasing the parents for a meeting, not the other way around.

It's not hard op, just email or call school office for an appointment on a mutually convenient day, if you want

Do you have concerns op

@EleanorReally have you read the thread? I'm a little bit confused!!

But just to recap, I can make one day but not the other as it's my own parent's evening so yes I will be working into the evening that day. I have emailed, phoned and dh has spoken to 3 separate people........ I will continue to attempt to make contact but probably after half term now.

Terrible attitude, go the Head and ask them what kind of school they run where a parent wants to meet a teacher and they say 'tough shit, on our terms on nothing.'