Expectations of primary school

[Tia3251]

Hi everyone can you tell me what realistic expectations you have of a primary school versus unrealistic expectations. I’m just curious what is realistic to expect from a state run primary school compared to if they were privately educated.

A realistic expectation is that they teach children.
An unrealistic expectation is that they breed cattle.

I think you might need to ask more detailed questions of what you actually mean, your question is way too broadly termed to be able to answer.

In a state school it is realistic to expect there may be some none NT children whose behaviour is more disruptive than ideal. The school should aim to manage this behaviour but may not have adequate funding.

In a state school you could expect that your child will be supported even if they have some form of SEN, whereas at some private schools they might encourage your child to leave.

I think it depends on where the state school is and also whether the private school has SEN provision. At the one I work at parents pay extra fees for SEN.

Thanks guys. Sorry for being vague it’s just people are constantly moaning about the school my kids are in, even tho it’s a good/outstanding school. So was wondering what kind of expectations people have in general from primary school education. Some interesting points about SEN. Didn’t think private schools would bully them but then it makes sense because private is all about results and attracting more people.

Realistic - your DC settle, are happy, socialising and learning.

Unealistic - that they declare your kids are gifted and offer 1:1 private tuition for free.

Agree with others - you need to ask what you want people to comment on, or we could just go round the houses listing all sorts of things

I, for example think it is unrealistic to expect the children to be provided with unicorn rides at play time, but I think it is realistic for the teaching staff to do their best in an underfunded system.

For example dealing with fussy eaters at lunchtime?

Dealing with fussy eating is something better fealty with at home.
At school we have 3 (sometimes 2) TAs in a school hall with 4 classes of 30 children. Lots of children can't cut up their own food or pour their own drinks. There are many requests to open up packed lunch boxes, those wretched yoghurt tubes, crisp packets, plastic wrapped cheese blocks, put straws in drinks cartons and a million other things, Lots of requests to go to the toilet. Lots of sorting out disputes - he's looking at me, she said this/that, crying children, children running around, spilled drinks, food dropped on floor, trays dropped, knives and forks dropped. Sorting out a fussy eater is unrealistic and an unfair request of those supervising so many children.

private: research what their demographic likes and serve it.
state: follow nhs food guide regardless of if it's eaten.
private: table manors, fork knife use, chewing with mouth closed,
state: anything goes.

oh ice cream that's a pretty wild picture you paint there of the school lunch room!! i bet your right about the amount of activity.
grand daughter's private school made it clear there would be no pandering to fussy eaters. menu available online so if the food isn't to the parents liking suggest they not register at that particular one.

@Knitclubchatter same at my son’s private school. there are 2 options, meat and vegetarian. no packed lunches allowed. weirdly enough, the kids eat it just fine.
Table manners, sitting down etc are expected.

@Tia3251 - do you want to expand ? What is the issue, exactly?

I dont expect state to do much for fussy eating as they can choose packed lunch but they then have the consequences of dc with high/low blood sugar or hungry.

I would expect them to not let dc lose jumpers so often. Or ensure they actually make it to lost property.

If the child has eating issues as the result of additional needs or a medical need, then I would expect there to be a care plan or EHCP that helped support those needs, and the school to adhere to that.

'Not let dc lose jumpers so often?' That attitude was the bane of my life when I was a teacher. Parents who thought it was my job to go and hunt for their child's lost and often unnamed clothes. Please teach your children to be responsible for their own stuff. Far too many are unbelievably careless nowadays.

For example dealing with fussy eaters at lunchtime If reception age, this early in the term I think it would be realistic to expect staff to encourage the child to have a go/sit them with other children who do like it. I only say that because it’s what happens at our primary & the teacher eats with them until around Christmas. I’d also expect menus to be readily available so parents can see if there’s anything their dc probably won’t like though (my dc have a mix of hot & packed lunches for this reason).

Sorry, I missed: it would be unrealistic to expect off menu alternatives to be found.

in terms of lost items: if it gets found, it gets put in the list property box. each friday, two year 6 children go through the box. if its labelled at the required place, it gets returned to the owner. if not it goes to the charity shop, or the second hand sale.

A good state school will have teachers sitting at at least some of the tables who will encourage children to eat up. But won’t force them.

A private school will do the same, but usually has the benefit of more staff to pupils, so can spend more time on such things per Pupil.

Both should encourage good manners.

a good state school will have teachers sitting at some of the tables

Even better state schools will employ enough midday supervisors so that teachers can

Have a break
Prepare for the afternoon
Meet with colleagues
Catch up on marking/record keeping so that they can leave at a reasonable time
Eat lunch that has not been breathed on by small children sitting at tables that are too small for adults.

Why would you think that state schools don’t encourage table manners @knitclubchatter? Of course we do. We also try very hard to encourage good food choices and deal with fussy eaters. Sometimes this is even appreciated. Often you get a mouthful and the child is put onto packed lunches. Because for all those of you who think its a scandal that schools don’t solve all your problems there are just as many who think it’s none of our fucking business.

And don’t get me started on the jumpers. It’s not my job. I label every single jumper on the first day. I tell parents this. The children wear their other jumpers or new ones. Never labelled. But that’s my fault. Aye right.

Some parents moan about their DC's primary school because they're the kind of people who like to moan! Personally I think that it's unreasonable for staff to deal with a very fussy eater and the child may be better having packed lunch.

I think people do sometimes just like to have a moan whether it's state or private. My kids go to a private (but a relatively cheap one which is known for being casual/friendly in ethos). Yet I've heard people moaning that there's no swimming pool (there never was one and no one ever claimed they were going to build one), no pony club, there are 20 kids in some classes, no free fruit available during the day, the uniform is too smart the uniform isn't smart enough, the lunches are too exotic, the lunches are too bland etc etc.

My DC used to go to a private school, and we had our share of moany parents there.

Complaining about the teachers, about the homework, about the available lunch options, about the after school club options, about the uniform, and so on....

Some people just like to complain and moan. You’re probably best off trying and identify which parents are the sort to moan about anything and then try and tune most of their complaining out.

Although picking up on the point upthread about SEN. Cutting a long story short, we were asked to remove one of our DC from the private school we were at because he has high functioning ASD and needs more support than a NT child. The state primary school we’re now at is supporting his needs much better.