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What do I do?

49 replies

ImaMummyof3 · 13/10/2017 17:34

I'm a Mummy of 3 - Twin boys, who are Five (They just went into year one) and a little girl who's three. I work at the school my Sons go to (I work in the reception - Answering calls and sorting files) Today I heard my boys teacher screaming at the top of his voice at them in the hallways. I don't know the full story but I do know I wasn't comfortable with the level or the tone of his voice

After school I went to talk to the teacher about it, he told me it was none of my business how he disciplined my children. I said it was every bit my business if I could hear him, and ushered my boys out of his classroom, it's now half past five and all they've been saying is how they don't want to go back to school on Monday - What should I do? The headteacher of the school is useless, should I take it to the Governor's of the school or the police

Many thanks in regards
Hannah - A concerned Mummy of twins

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tiggytape · 13/10/2017 17:44

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iamUberA · 13/10/2017 17:49

Why have you signed it off like that...

BurnTheBlackSuit · 13/10/2017 17:49

What do your children say happened?

Tilapia · 13/10/2017 17:52

Your first step (as you’ve already spoken to the teacher) is to arrange a meeting with the head. I know you say they are useless but give him / her a chance. Ask to see the school discipline policy.

Don’t go to the police. If shouting at kids was illegal we’d all be in prison by now!

pinkdelight · 13/10/2017 21:22

Disciplined them for what? What did they say? What did the teacher say? Did you have a calm conversation, asking him what the issue was? Or did you tell him you didn't like his tone/shouting before getting the whole story? I'm not saying he's right and yabu but even suggesting the police makes you sound OTT. No idea how that'd cross your mind. If you can't have a reasonable conversation with the teacher, raise it with the head of year, and be as non-confrontational as you can. It's a tricky situation being a parent and a staff member.

pinkdelight · 13/10/2017 21:24

(Sorry, know this isn't aibu just used to the shorthand)

Offthepaul · 13/10/2017 22:05

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Lurkedforever1 · 13/10/2017 22:16

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BackforGood · 13/10/2017 22:27
Hmm
GreenTulips · 13/10/2017 22:29

Teachers shout

Usually because kids are loud

Pud2 · 13/10/2017 22:40

The police?!!
Not appropriate to go to the governors. They would simply pass it back to the head because it's an operational matter. It's hard when you are staff but you need to separate from that and act as a parent. Make an appointment to speak calmy to the teacher, then the head if you're not happy. If you are still not happy then follow the school's complaints procedure.

MidniteScribbler · 13/10/2017 23:00

The police? Because a teacher raised his voice at students who were no doubt doing the wrong thing at the time?

Guess what, you may be a "mummy of twins" (boak) but you've never dealt with a class of 30 students doing something either dangerous or loud and having to be heard over the top of them.

user789653241 · 13/10/2017 23:26

I can understand it must be difficult to be objective when you can see/hear what's happening.

I have heard one of the most nicest teacher shout once. It maybe because you cannot be heard of the surrounding noise.
I asked my ds while ago if he was ever shouted at by any teacher, and he said yes. That didn't make him dislike or scared of the teacher.

I think best thing you can do is talk to the teacher calmly what was about, if you are worried.

LandofTute · 14/10/2017 08:07

Are your dc not wanting to go back to school because of the original shouting or because of you arguing with their teacher in front of them?

jamdonut · 14/10/2017 10:02

When I was training to be a TA, I was, in fact , in my son's class. I made sure I never interfered with any disciplining the teacher did, other than to uphold her decisions.
My son ( then 6 years old) knew and understood that I was not there as mummy, I was there as Mrs Jamdonut and that during school time I was the same as any other member of staff.
His class teacher was ( and still is ) a wonderful teacher, who rarely raised her voice, but sometimes it is necessary for teachers to shout loudly or sharply. Being all quietly spoken and lovely simply just doesn't cut it , sometimes.
I think if you don't understand that, you are going to find working in your children's school very, very difficult.

Wait4nothing · 14/10/2017 10:09

Did you ask the reason for the shouting? It sounds like you have jumped to conclusions because of what you heard. If your check listen were doing something dangerous at home would you shout? (About to touch the hot hob, run out on to the road). What about if they were screaming at each other and they couldn’t hear you trying to stop them? If your children had been hurt/upset by someone else would it be ok for the perpetrators to be shouted at? What if it was recurring and the first 3 things hadn’t worked (talking to, missing play, etc). Or even if it was the teachers error - haven’t you ever lost your temper with your children?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 14/10/2017 10:10

Really? The police?!?

I raise my voice to the children to be heard. I rarely shout at them though because it’s not my style.

I suggest you find out what happened and what caused the shouting.

I would also suggest that working in their school is maybe not the right job for you if you can’t separate yourself.

MrsKCastle · 14/10/2017 10:11

Teachers should not be screaming at the top of their voice. If that's really what happened and you're not exaggerating, you need to speak to the head. The teacher may need some support to look at his behaviour management.
If this is a one-off, I would maybe chalk it up to a bad day, but if it is happening often then it is a problem that needs dealing with. As a staff member (even an office-need one) you should know about the safeguarding and whistleblowing policies. There should be a whistle blowing governor who you could contact, but only if you feel the issue is serious and ongoing.

jamdonut · 14/10/2017 10:49

Also, men teachers voices always seem to boom, and be heard further, where women sound shrill.
If a teacher is shouting, it is usually because they have been pushed to the edge. There is only so much quiet reasoning and behaviour management strategies you can do before you finally flip!

Also, aren't you going to make it really awkward for yourself at work?
In our school several members of staff have children in the school, from teachers to dinner ladies. I don't think anyone has ever called out another member of staff for the way they have managed their class before. Probably because we all understand how difficult it is, sometimes.

MardyMatilda · 14/10/2017 20:52

What an odd way to end this thread
What did you do in de end?

Stompythedinosaur · 14/10/2017 23:17

I think shouting aggressively at children is unacceptable, if that's what you heard you need to do something. I would say another appointment with the teacher to find out what happened and express your unhappiness, then a meeting with the head if you aren't satisfied.

GreenTulips · 15/10/2017 08:13

I think shouting aggressively at children is unacceptable

Depends on the circumstances

'Oh Dear' won't cut it if they are about to do something stupid and dangerous

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/10/2017 09:28

My shouting is reserved for dangerous situations. For example, last year, one of my Y5 boys went to put a bag over his head. I shouted across the classroom then to stop everyone in their tracks.

Glumglowworm · 15/10/2017 10:54

I agree with a PP that it's equally likely your DC don't want to go back to school because they saw you argue with their teacher.

I also agree with everyone else that you're hysterical overreaction mention of the police is absurd.

If this is the first time you've heard the teacher shout like that, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Possibly one or more children were about to do or actually doing something dangerous. Possibly the class was loud and ignoring lower-voiced instructions.

Make an appointment to discuss it with him WITHOUT your DC present. Do not let them see you arguing with their teacher.

BubblesBuddy · 15/10/2017 12:33

Do something dangerous in Y1? What, exactly could that be? Unless they attacked the teacher or another child, it would be rare for something to be so dangerous as to provoke shouting from the teacher. If it was totally unacceptable behaviour, then the school should have spoken to you immediately and the boys should have been temporarily excluded from the classroom and sent to the Head. This has not happened so it cannot have been that bad.

Teachers should not shout at very young children. It is losing your temper and not professional. Just imagine an Ofsted inspector witinessing that! Do see the Head. That is the next step. The teacher should tell you what the problem was and be honest about what happpened if they did over-react. You need some facts about what actually happened.