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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Toilet issues in reception class.

34 replies

VilootShesCute · 10/10/2016 16:09

Dd just turned 4, she's always struggled wiping her bum and we basically let her do it herself for practise for months leading up to starting school in September. It still hasn't clicked she's a messy little madam. Pick her up from school today and asked if she's been to toilet and reply was a happy yes mummy I did a poo. Urgh. It was everywhere. Caked to her bum, all over pants and her tights reeked. I just don't know what to do! School says they can't wipe for her. It's not just a mess thing it's a dignity and a hygiene (for the whole bloody class) issue also. Has anyone had this problem? How to I broach it with school without getting a moany mum rep?

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HeadDreamer · 10/10/2016 16:17

They will get better. DC1 wetted herself many times at school. Can you leave extra pants and tights in her bag? They won't wipe her bum but hopefully she has clean pants?

OverScentedFanjo · 10/10/2016 16:18

I would alert the class teacher and see if they can suggest something. I know they can't help, as they can't touch children.
IMO it is a duty of care issue. But they maintain children should be able to sort themselves out. In our school if a child has an accident they supervise the change of wet pants, but can't touch anything.

Original poster

VilootShesCute · 10/10/2016 16:58

Yes they've said they're not allowed to touch. I can see why obviously but still aaarrrggh! 30 kids in a class too, it must be hard for them to monitor.

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KP86 · 10/10/2016 17:00

Can you send her with wet wipes (to go into a little bag and then the bin) rather than trying to use toilet paper?

YellowPrimula · 10/10/2016 17:01

Could you put s small packet of wet wipes in her bag , they may be easier than cheap school paper .

dannydyerismydad · 10/10/2016 17:04

DS is late summer born, so year 1 now, but only just 5.

It has got slowly better during his time in reception, but I don't think his arms are quite long enough to reach!

I try and encourage him to try for a poo before going to school. When he poos at home he wipes and I do the final wipe and check before pants up. We are slowly winning!

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 10/10/2016 17:04

they can't touch

Really? I thought schools couldn't refuse children in nappies. From that follows that some children (very few, admitedly) would need a nappy change in school. What happens then?

mrz · 10/10/2016 17:22

Yes they can touch!

I would suggest asking for a care plan and possibly provide baby wipes?

thenewaveragebear1983 · 10/10/2016 17:30

I think they have one changer and one witness every time they do nappy changes in school?

MyNewBearTotoro · 10/10/2016 17:41

Legally there is nothing to say schools can't touch students. It may be school policy or it may just be something their teacher is following without actually checking if it is correct.

Schools have a duty of care to their students and as you say it is a dignity and hygiene issue. I would arrange a meeting with the teacher outlining your DD's difficulties and your expectations of how they support her in school. If teacher isn't helpful maybe go to the foundation stage leader or the head teacher.

TeacherBob · 10/10/2016 17:47

Yeah as has been pointed out schools can touch.

In repeated instances something should be put in place to ensure there is someone who can help.

Dixiechickonhols · 10/10/2016 17:49

Ditch the tights as they are a faff and get in the way. Knee socks and skirt or trousers. Maybe try Wet wipes and spare knickers in a bag on her peg. I'd liaise with school they will have see it all before.

jamdonut · 10/10/2016 17:55

Blimey...
We've always helped children if they've had a problem at our school!?! We usually use baby wipes with a child who has a messy problem. Although if it's really bad, parents have been called in the past (persistant 'offenders' )
And changing nappies in nursery...we don't have enough staff to have 2 people to-do each change!
You can't just leave them sitting there smelling...how revolting for the whole class!

IWasSpartacus · 10/10/2016 20:18

Please, please be careful of the use of wetwipes - she must not put them down the loo. Even any so called "flushable" ones.

Wipes of any kind block drains and loos very, very easily (yes, even "flushable"). A lot of schools have antiquated, overused drains. Wipes down the loo = blocked loo or drains.

Original poster

VilootShesCute · 10/10/2016 21:09

Well that's interesting. I will have to have a chat with teacher but she's definitely said in first meeting we had at start of school that no help was allowed and they aren't allowed to wipe them Also I have read that legally schools have to have a "sick room" but our school doesn't. As my poor ds found out when he had to sit in the middle of a classroom with a bin in front of him when he was throwing up waiting for me to collect him.

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mrz · 10/10/2016 21:19

Staff wouldn't regularly wipe your child's bottom when they go to the loo but they will clean up a child who has soiled

potentialqualms · 10/10/2016 21:39

Yes, there's no reason they can't wipe your child, apart from perhaps that there are 29 others in the class and there is supposed to be a little bit of teaching ?

In any reception class a good % won't be brilliant at wiping, teacher can't be expected to wipe everyone but if staff were aware that her tights etc had been soiled they absolutely should have helped clean her up. Realistically though the only way they will have known is if she told them.

I'm not aware of any rule that states there should be a sick room. We certainly don't have one.

Original poster

VilootShesCute · 10/10/2016 21:42

It's on gov website. I will try and remember all of the things you lot have said and put it across eloquently tomorrow. Thank you so much.

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potentialqualms · 10/10/2016 21:45

Careful though, if you insist she needs help wiping, the answer may well be that they'll call you to go in and do it. I don't think it's reasonable to ask them to wipe her, more that DD should know to tell if she needs help cleaning up after a mishap.

hazeyjane · 10/10/2016 21:56

I think they have one changer and one witness every time they do nappy changes in school?

This isn't true, schools do not have to have 2 people to change, and they can help a child if they have made a mess, if there is staff to cover for this.

With dd2, who was an horrendous wiper, I gave her a zip up bag with some clean pants, wipes, a nappy bag to put the wipes and soiled pants in and a clip-it to close the bag, and I gave her instruction on how to clean herself up as best as she could. To be fair she still made quite a mess of it sometimes, and then she suddenly got it, and was able to wipe properly!

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 10/10/2016 22:14

My DS is in reception and has some 'toileting issues'; it's called 'lazybuggeritis'.

He simply won't leave what he is doing and will hold it ALL in! We have bum wiping issues too as well as 'leakage' etc.

I grit my teeth and deal with it at home. Most kids aged 4 don't notice it though. Probably so used to their own bums reeking that believe me (as a teacher also) the whole class stinks and your nose adjusts.

The saving grace is that they won't be doing it at age 11 - I hope!

Yokohamajojo · 11/10/2016 09:12

I find that the kids bodies sort of get into a school poo clock, both mine did not like to poo in school so both will be dying for a poo when they get home! Could you try and get up slightly earlier to encourage a poo before school?

Naty1 · 11/10/2016 11:59

A sick room would be sensible as you catch norovirus by inhaling bits of sick in the air. So wouldnt want them being sick in the classroom unnecessarily.

Sticker chart and rewards for clean bum?
I dont think wipes are good idea especially if they are a bit messy as the likelihood of them being able to put wipes in a bag in the bin.

Blueisthemagicnumber · 11/10/2016 12:38

My issue would be that if she had tried, but not able to clean herself up, that no one had sorted her out. Bring in a bag with wipes, nappy sacks, spare knickers, tights and clothes, just in case of accidents. The school will have gloves for staff to wear.

Original poster

VilootShesCute · 11/10/2016 14:22

Well I sent her in with a change of undies etc in a bag. Why I didn't think of that is silly really! And I asked her to try and do a poo before school but she was having none of it. Fingers crossed for cleanliness on her return today.

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