Toilet issues in reception class.

[VilootShesCute]

Dd just turned 4, she's always struggled wiping her bum and we basically let her do it herself for practise for months leading up to starting school in September. It still hasn't clicked she's a messy little madam. Pick her up from school today and asked if she's been to toilet and reply was a happy yes mummy I did a poo. Urgh. It was everywhere. Caked to her bum, all over pants and her tights reeked. I just don't know what to do! School says they can't wipe for her. It's not just a mess thing it's a dignity and a hygiene (for the whole bloody class) issue also. Has anyone had this problem? How to I broach it with school without getting a moany mum rep?

I am a bit shocked that so many people think it's okay to expect a member of staff to wipe a child's bottom after they have been to the toilet?! Do you also think it's the nursery/school's job to toilet train them?!

If there is a child with medical issues or possible SEN then yes they may have a specifically trained member of staff to help them e.g i know of assistants for changing stoma bags etc.

Any other incidents I feel the staff shouldn't have to be involved when a child is in the toilet. Send a change of clothes, your child can change themselves with supervision or asked to be phoned if there is an issue and you can come up to change.

Schools are breaking the law if they phone parents to clean a child following a toileting accident

Well MrsGSnow, they are little (some only just turned 4), they are in a new environment, they are learning and it isn't particularly nice to have poo crusted to your bottom for half the day.

And before anyone suggests it would never happen back in the day, I remember sitting by the (vast) 'knicker cupboard' at infant school waiting for a member of staff to come and sort me out, way back in the 70s

I'm shocked that people think that every child, even the summer borns will be perfect at bottom wiping in reception. Some of them will have only just toilet trained recently. It's not laziness, it takes dexterity to wipe well.
DS had a poo accident last week (he's summer born and in reception). Fortunately his school were lovely about it, cleaned him up and changed him.
I wonder if in countries where they start school at a more reasonable age (rather than only just turned 4) whether this is a problem?
DS is on movicol for constipation and he will sometimes need help wiping. I've told him to have a good go and keep wiping until the paper is clean (half a roll all be used, but can't help that). Then to ask the TA to check he's clean.
They do have a duty of care, they can't leave them dirty, that's horrible. The odd skid mark fair enough but properly dirty isn't kind.

My dd struggles with bum wiping - her arms just aren't long enough to reach around. And when she tries to wipe from the front, she makes mistakes and has ended up with infections.

Does your dd have quite sloppy poo OP? What is she eating? Might be worth looking at her diet.

She flits from soft to firm! Have had to have movicol too as she was very blocked up six months ago. Thank goodness it worked and now it's more on the soft side hence the problems at school. My son never had any problems and was toilet trained nice and quickly. But he was ninebmonths older than she is when he started school! Those months make aaaaall the difference! She is still so young.

Yes the movicol makes the poo very sticky and clean up is much more difficult. It takes me a while, never mind him. He has to have it though, we had problems with withholding otherwise. I have informed school that he's on it. It's prescribed by the GP for a genuine medical reason- I think school should take this into account.
They will get the hang of it eventually but they all develop at different rates including dexterity so why are they being expected to do something they aren't quite developmentally ready for? As I say, it's not laziness. We have showed him, practised a lot and he does try but he just needs an adult there to make sure he's clean.
They don't have to touch him actuslly, just supervise and make sure he gets it all off.
Our school do seem quite good about it but it is a worry. There are 17 in his class with 2 adults, I know they have more to do than supervise this but I can't help that. I laughed when someone said ring me, if he's poorly at school of course I will leave work to go and pick him up. I would finish the procedure I am on, get changed and drive straight there. Probably 1.5 hours from call to arriving.

Do agree school in U.K. Starts very young especially for those born in the summer

Some good practical advice here - also agree with PP I would ditch the tights as they just add another layer of problems you don't need

OP your DD sounds like she is doing really well on many fronts, it is just the details that need ironing out. They will come in time. I was sad to read that generally toilet training is taking a backward slide www.nursingtimes.net/news/news-topics/public-health/rise-in-children-starting-school-not-toilet-trained/7010849.article