Sweary teacher

[Camargue]

Ds is in a class of quite noisy kids (state primary, Y4) who seem to find it hard, as a group, to behave. This year's teacher has been saying 'damn' rather a lot - to the extent some of the kids are a bit bothered by it. I don't think it's acceptable, but what should I do? I like the teacher, she's young and newish, and apart from losing her temper things seem to be going fine.

It's hardly 'sweary'. Losing her temper is not good, but how do you know for sure she's not being a reasonable level of cross?

I say pants as my expletive of choice.

I guess different people have different levels of what they think is acceptable. I certainly don't classify damn, crap or fart as "sweary" but other people do.

I don't think that a teacher should be using language that they wouldn't want repeated, tbh, and I wouldn't want children to be saying 'damn'.

If Year 4 children are bothered by the word damn then they will get a real shock at actual swearing.

It is not a word I would use in the classroom but nor is it the end of the world. It is entirely your perogative to mention that you disapprove to the teacher though. At the end of the day she is teaching your child and if you are not happy you should let her know.

Are you religious OP?

To me 'damn' has not been considered a swear word for about 50 years.

I bet the teacher doesn't realise it's swearing. She should be told that it is and why imo.

Is she really losing her temper-or just looking/acting cross?

I would class damn as swearing, and I'm not particularly religious. I wouldn't want my children saying it and I wouldn't be happy about their teacher saying it either.

How on earth is damn swearing? Thought that it was a pretty acceptable word used instead of saying fuck or shit.

All good points. I don't think it is the word damn that bothers them, they certainly hear worse, it's the fact that a teacher is doing something they understand as forbidden and bad. I am pretty sure her crossness is reasonable, too, and I don't really feel like I should be telling her I disapprove of her language - it's not really my business, I'm a parent, not her employer. I guess it's the temper losing and the upset it causes that I'm more concerned about.

It's difficult to say though, without knowing context and tone. My DD3 is 4 and she's obviously heard someone saying 'damn'. So when she says 'Oh damn' and laughs because she's dropped something, it's no way near as 'sweary sounding' as if an adult were to say 'put that damn pencil down!'.

If it's used to convey anger and frustration with pupils it's not on.

Damn on the very minor end of swearing but it still is swearing.
I would be concerned for teacher getting into trouble for saying it. If you are worried do you feel able to talk to her rather than go above her head?
Maybe she needs to say darn or drat or even double drat!!

How is darn any better than damn?

Swear words are swear words because they're designed to shock and draw attention. Using any word in anger is not great. I gave my example of using 'pants' but that's more like if I drop something or forget something etc. there no anger involved.

Damn is not a swear word and it's not unprofessional either. Get a grip and give the teacher a break....and why on earth would you need to go running to the head? Unless that's the preferred communication style in the school speak directly to the teacher.

When did 'damn' stop being a swear word then? I wouldn't find it acceptable round kids either, there are plenty of other options.

Why is damn inappropriate and unprofessional?

I'm in my late 50s and have never considered damn as a swear word! Just a mild expletive like blast! rats! or blow! when I've done something silly or annoying. I use it in the classroom as well. Not AT the children but certainly within their earshot.

Regards the temper, is this something you have actually heard yourself? Might it just be a raised voice?

Well I'm only mid 40s and have always thought of it as swearing - and 'darn', according to my dictionary, as an exclamation originated as a euphemism for 'damn'. If damn was in the same sort of category, it presumably wouldn't have needed a euphemism.

I am - genuinely - shocked that anyone would consider 'damn' to be an appropriate word for a primary school teacher to use, ever, in front of children. (Whether it is a swear word or not is not really the point - the point is whether you think that a Y4 class teacher should be using it, in the classroom, as part of their job.)

My concern would be that this teacher seems to have lost control, to be using such language as part of classroom management.

If you can verify your report - Y4s are not ALWAYS wholly reliable in this regard - it would be somthing that I would take up with the head.

I wouldn't even consider it to be swearing.

I think damm is fine.

Unless you are American in which case you would also prefer 'poop' to 'poo'

But then again I wouldn't want to hear a young child say it. So now I'm confused. Damm!

What an interesting divergence of opinions! No, I am not remotely religious, but I don't think damn is ok at work with children. I guess my question is really is there an acceptable way I can raise it with her, rather than go straight to senior management. I do think it is reliable, several children have referred to it.

I'm struggling to think of how she would regularly use damn in a sentence.

"I don't give a damn!"

"Damn it, will you sit still!"

Doesn't seem natural to me somehow. It's not appropriate and you should mention it. As a one off really not the end of the world by a long shot but regularly, not appropriate.