Sweary teacher

[Camargue]

Ds is in a class of quite noisy kids (state primary, Y4) who seem to find it hard, as a group, to behave. This year's teacher has been saying 'damn' rather a lot - to the extent some of the kids are a bit bothered by it. I don't think it's acceptable, but what should I do? I like the teacher, she's young and newish, and apart from losing her temper things seem to be going fine.

[handbags88]

I am a teacher and don't think this is appropriate at all. Is the teacher very young/inexperienced? Maybe she doesn't realise she is doing it!

[Camargue]

I totally agree that it's the kids' behaviour that is the problem more than the teacher's. I stress that to my child all the time. They're not disrespectful, exactly, just (in my opinion) used to be given a bit too much licence , and gabby! There's a fair diversity of religions and some playground talk about hell, the devil and damnation, which I think makes 'damn' look particularly meaningful - bother and flipping, to me, are completely different as they don't actually mean anything serious (do they?). And yes, it is a bit of a flag for not being in control and being a bit mean to the kids, but what's the most helpful way of raising it, that won't undermine her?

[Janacek]

Is "bother" ok and "damn" not?
Personally I think bother is ok and damn, not.

[juniper9]

Maybe she's trying to be down with the kids; d'ya get me? I think lots of new teachers try to be the children's friend.

If it's an inner London school then what is behaviour like generally? My school counts as inner London but I'd be strung up by my feet if I said damn! Our parents are very precious.

Alternatively maybe she's trying to find her feet with behaviour management. It doesn't help when older teachers refer to new teachers as 'girls' in front of the children not bitter, honest

When I first started, many moons ago (ok, a few years ago), my mentor used to frequently come into my classroom and undermine me in front of my class. She told me off for sitting on the table whilst talking to the children, for example. That kind of thing makes discipline hard so her temper might be frustration. Maybe she's trying to make it clear that she's in charge.

[DrankSangriaInThePark]

It's not a word I would want used.

But then, in Yr 4 I wouldn't want to be the parent of a child "finding it hard to behave" either.

[thegreylady]

Any word can be a swear word if you choose to make it so.I used to tell my dc that the worst swear word was 'skiff' so 'skiff off' became much much worse to them than 'f* off'.It isn't the 'damn' that's the problem here, it is the children who are driving their teacher to distraction by disobedience and bad behaviour.
"Get in line please Class 4."
"Class 4 will you get in line?"
"Class 4, in line NOW!"
"Will you damn well get in line when you are asked or you will spend playtime practising until you do it first time!"
Hey ho a teacher's lot is not a happy one :)

[Janacek]

I teach the violin and often feel like swearing, but I don't OR lose my temper. Unprofessional.

[feelingdizzy]

I'm a teacher wouldn't use it myself , don't think I would be shocked if someone else used it. It's not a 'nice' word but not a proper swear word.
The kids I teach would generally hear swear words used as a verb adjective and noun in their day to day life. So I try and use softer language in school.

[teacherwith2kids]

I woiuld raise it because of what it indicates about a teacher losing control, not about the word itself IYSWIM? Any primary teacher who sees the need to say - or cannot stop herself saying - 'get into the damn line' is not a teacher under full control of her temper or the class, and that would be a significant concern to me.

[AquaCouldron]

I don't think it's an appropriate word, especially if used in the context of disciplining. I wouldn't use it directly to my DC and their friends (of primary age) in general conversation at home.

Though I do tend to be a bit sweary generally and don't have a problem with swearing per se - I just wouldn't use even slightly sweary words directly AT younger children.

[Viviennemary]

I'd hardly call damn a swear word. Not saying it should be used in the classroom but it's very mild. I'd leave it up to somebody else to mention it if it's bothering a lot of other people. I don't think it's important enough to make an issue out of so that's why I wouldn't personally raise it with the teacher.

[indyandlara]

Damn muttered under your breath in the classroom as you drop all your photocopying/ whack your head on the cupboard door/ delete the wrong Smartboard page happens. Telling the children to get in the damn line is not okay.

I'm a teacher and did once swear hundreds of years ago when I mistakenly bumped the minibus when parking. The kids took great pleasure in telling their parents I'd shouted "oh shit" as I "crashed".

[Ragusa]

I think considering 'damn' a swear word is very prudish.

People expect teachers to be blimming saints. If a class of eight and nine year olds wouldn't get into line reliably when asked I would be cross too! Somwtimes kids need to understand that bad behaviour pees others off. The endless explaining, asking, gently sanctioning approach gets on my wick sometimes. The 'do what you're asked to do or I'll get cheesed off' is not a bad approach if used occasionally and judiciously.....

If the kids are being upset by frequent teacher temper outbursts then that's a different issue of course but give this poor teacher a break otherwise!

[spanieleyes]

I certainly wouldn't use damn when addressing the children, although it may inadvertently slip out under my breath when I realise it is 2.45 and I still have to fit RE, PSHE a mental maths test and "show and tell" in before we go home!

[rwepi]

I hate swearing where children are involved but tbh it sounds like there are bigger issues here. Even "will you flipping get in line...." suggests she's not coping well

[EmeraldJeanie]

'My child is saying the word damn and says he heard it in class could you keep an eye on where he might be picking it up?' Coward approach.
'My child says you have been saying damn. I am sure this isn't true..' more coward approach.
I think it isn't on and if said in anger is a problem.
Can you talk to her?
If not you may have to take it further if you are worried about her temper.

[Camargue]

'Will you damn well get into line', I think. It genuinely hadn't occurred to me that she may not see it as a swear word - I really thought everybody did, admittedly not a terribly 'bad' one, but I think most people round here (inner London) would see it as not like drat, and certainly the kids would be hauled up by teachers for it. But I do not want to go and say to her 'my son says you said'.

[RightInTheKisser]

I'm struggling to think of how she would regularly use damn in a sentence.

"I don't give a damn!"

"Damn it, will you sit still!"

Doesn't seem natural to me somehow. It's not appropriate and you should mention it. As a one off really not the end of the world by a long shot but regularly, not appropriate.

[Camargue]

What an interesting divergence of opinions! No, I am not remotely religious, but I don't think damn is ok at work with children. I guess my question is really is there an acceptable way I can raise it with her, rather than go straight to senior management. I do think it is reliable, several children have referred to it.

[HorsePetal]

I think damm is fine.

Unless you are American in which case you would also prefer 'poop' to 'poo'

But then again I wouldn't want to hear a young child say it. So now I'm confused. Damm!

[HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood]

I wouldn't even consider it to be swearing.

[teacherwith2kids]

I am - genuinely - shocked that anyone would consider 'damn' to be an appropriate word for a primary school teacher to use, ever, in front of children. (Whether it is a swear word or not is not really the point - the point is whether you think that a Y4 class teacher should be using it, in the classroom, as part of their job.)

My concern would be that this teacher seems to have lost control, to be using such language as part of classroom management.

If you can verify your report - Y4s are not ALWAYS wholly reliable in this regard - it would be somthing that I would take up with the head.

[desertgirl]

Well I'm only mid 40s and have always thought of it as swearing - and 'darn', according to my dictionary, as an exclamation originated as a euphemism for 'damn'. If damn was in the same sort of category, it presumably wouldn't have needed a euphemism.