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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Removing a child from school in year 6

52 replies

TheOriginalFAB · 16/09/2011 15:57

So 2 weeks in and today my child has been strangled, kicked and jumped on as well as name calling. I have left a message at the shcool and said if it happens again I will remove my child. Can someone talk to me about how that works please as it will happen again as this is another attack in a long line of them. AngrySad

OP posts:
BeaturedFloggers · 16/09/2011 16:20

If at all possible, I would not want to change schools in Year 6. If I had to, I suppose I would approach the alternative school(s) and ask what their waiting list was. I don't think being bullied gets you bumped up the list though.

It sounds like your school have not been helpful. Does your DS have good friends there- if so, that is a start. Is is one attacker, or several? Is it the same people each time? What is the anti bullying policy? Is it happening in class or at play? Have the bullies been spoken to? Has any attempt been made to physically separate your DS from them? Does your Ds want to leave his current school? Lots to think about...

ptangyangkipperbang · 16/09/2011 16:20

What a horrible situation to be in. DS1 moved to a different school at Spring Bank of Year 5. We were worried that it would be hard for him to make friends but he settled in really quickly and wished he'd moved earlier.

NiecieTheTerminator · 16/09/2011 16:44

Oh FAB. Sad

Ideally you don't want to move your DS at this stage and why should he be the one to face the upheaval and being bullied?

There should be a bullying policy somewhere that you should be able to access, either on the school website or from the office. Try and get hold of a copy and then use it against them - they should be implementing whatever they have put in there. All schools should have one - it is an Ofsted requirement.

Then Monday morning make an appointment with the head and go in person to talk about it - do it Monday if you can because you will still be angry and you will be less likely to accept their platitudes. Tell him or her that you have had enough and are considering withdrawing your DS. But if that fails to produce results i.e. the bullies should be reprimanded in some way, I would go to the governors. If the school aren't dealing with effectively it up to the Governors to make sure that they do - that is their job. The chair is the person to talk to.

Do you have a note of all the incidences of bullying in the past? Is your DS prepared to name names as well? Take anyting that provides evidence of what is going on.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 16/09/2011 16:45

This bullying has gone on for ages. The school has said this year group is difficult and they shouldn't have mixed them up. The teacher has told my son he wasn't being bullied. WTF was he being then? This is not the first time and we have been in to school several times. Apparently it is sorted. Then it happens again so no, it isn't sorted. I am so fucking angry. His best friend is more out going and will stick up for himself and ds1 gets bullied when he goes to defend him as well as other times. Today the boy mde stuff up that ds1 didn't say so the other kids laid into him Angry. I am so fucking sick of it and I will not leave him there to get assaulted. I am that close to phoning the police.

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 16/09/2011 16:47

could you take him out and home ed until he starts secondary school which will be a new start for him?
or doyou have work to consider?

FagButt · 16/09/2011 16:51

Are you thinking of home edding.

In which case all you do is write to the headteacher to de-register him. Template letters can be found at www.educationotherwise.org

Dreadful for you ds Sad

cjbartlett · 16/09/2011 16:52

I'd take him out and make it a really positive year in preparation for secondary school

build up his confidence

work on boosting him up so he's excited about his new school

NiecieTheTerminator · 16/09/2011 16:55

Actually I was going to suggest either threatening the police or actually going as far as getting them involved. It is a very hard line to take but sometimes I think these things have to be done and if you have struggled to get any action or even an acknowledgement out of the school that there is a problem, the police could be an options. Speak to the Chair of Governors though and tell him or her you are thinking about the police first. Don't be accused of jumping the gun even if you speak to the Chair and then dial the police straight after.

I am presuming all the bullies are Yr 6 too and therefore at or near the age of criminal responsibility (10yrs). The police can do something even if it is just talk to them. Hopefully that will put the fear of God in them. If it were adult doing what these children are doing then it would be assault. I don't think, once you have exhausted the school option that it is a step too far.

Are there spaces in other local schools?

NappyShedSal · 16/09/2011 16:56

If you do move him then try and choose another school within the same partnership of schools so that he'll know people that he's going to secondary with - he'll then know 2 lots of friends at secondary which would be a good thing.

OddBoots · 16/09/2011 16:56

If he has been physically assaulted have you thought about getting the police involved? If those doing it are in his year they are old enough to be criminally responsible.

NiecieTheTerminator · 16/09/2011 16:57

If these children were at my DS2's school where I am a governor they would be excluded, at least temporarily. I think that is the sanction you should be looking for at the very least.

OddBoots · 16/09/2011 16:58

Sorry, I was a bit slow, lots of x-posting.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 16/09/2011 17:02

I need to go back and read all the posts but just to say I just phoned the police and they have taken a report of what has happened tooday and told me what I need to do.

I don't work.

MIL is a retired teacher and I would ask her to teach him if possible.

OP posts:
BeaturedFloggers · 16/09/2011 17:04

FAB, does your DS want to leave school, or does he want to stay and for the bullies to be sorted out?

cjbartlett · 16/09/2011 17:05

I agree with callign the police , getting the bullies excluded etc

but also i would take him out if he is really miserable anyway

how is he everyday? does he dread going in?

That's great about MIL.then you wouldn't be on your own in home edding him

what does his dad think?

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 16/09/2011 17:09

I keep going in. I get told it is being sorted. The head says there is no bullying and is well known for doing nothing. The deputy head is the one we have seen and says he can't stop it 100%. I have said about taken the children out and they think I am over reacting.

When I was threatened by a mother because my 5 year old had hurt her child we went straight in and sorted it out. These year 6 parents were only called in after years of this and I am so fucking angry.

OP posts:
NiecieTheTerminator · 16/09/2011 17:17

Good for you FAB. Smile

NiecieTheTerminator · 16/09/2011 17:18

About the police I mean.

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 16/09/2011 17:23

His dad thinks that I over react and make snap decisions whereas I think he needs to man up and tell the school to stop letting our child be bullied. Work is really hectic and stressful for DH at the moment so bad timing but enough us enough.

OP posts:
BeaturedFloggers · 16/09/2011 17:36

FAB, what does your DS want - to stay or to change school, or to be HE?

Doobydoo · 16/09/2011 17:37

Haven't read all thread.Just to say we removed ds1 in year 6 and Home edded for a few months then found a fab school where he had a very positive few terms before secondary.Wish we had found it sooner.Will go and read now

Original poster
TheOriginalFAB · 16/09/2011 17:39

I don't want to ask him if he wants to leave the school in case it turns out not to be an option for whatever reason. I just knolw he is fed up. He said this afternoon if they touched him again we would knock them out. I told him I wouldn't have a problem with that. And oh how soon one of them forgets that he came to ask ds1 to play out with him a couple of weeks ago Hmm.

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 16/09/2011 17:40

Is this the same kid you were posting about trying to get him into grammar school to escpae these bullies at secondary school?

I can see what you were saying now Smile

I would be tempted to home ed until secondary but, as you have realised already, you then have to work out where to send him to avoid meeting them all again in future.

I am really saddened to hear that you have had no support from the schooll I expect the bullies know that, whicch is why they feel able to do this to your son.

saoirse86 · 16/09/2011 17:45

I find it utterly ridiculous that these things aren't taken seriously when it's children. Angry I mean, if it was at work and someone was being attacked by colleagues there'd be disciplinaries, police involved, all sorts, but it's children so it's ok?!

I can't offer any advice but I hope you get something sorted and can move on from this soon. Smile

SandStorm · 16/09/2011 17:46

I work in a year 6 class and we had a new child this year. Two weeks and he has settled in with no problems and if a stranger came to the class I would challenge them to pick out the new child.

It's the beginning of the year - there's plenty of time to form new relationships with his classmates so if you can move schools I would do that.

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