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Primary education

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Original poster

Have to Chip In for teachers Xmas pressie!!

47 replies

jellylegs · 02/12/2010 21:47

Some mums and I have been grabbed in playground of kiddies school and asked to put in £10!!! for teachers Xmas gift. Is it just us or is this a bit to far???To put it into context, the school is small and in working class town(But with lots of wealthy middle class parents attracted by great results).
I was planning a bottle of wine(Sainsburys are doing 25% of 6 bottles!)Views please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pozzled · 02/12/2010 21:50

I read something similar on a thread in the summer. As a teacher I would be absolutely mortified to think that parents were being pressurised into giving a named amount- absolute madness. Not that I don't appreciate gifts- it's lovely to have an acknowledgement of the work I put in- but if it's not done by choice it means sod all anyway.

Tell the other parents you don't agree with combining gifts.

Buy a bottle of wine if you want to, otherwise send a card with a friendly and sincere message.

MrsDaffodill · 02/12/2010 21:54

I quite like teacher collections. But I would never, ever, ever think it OK to have a named amount and certainly not £10!!!

Goblinchild · 02/12/2010 22:00

Just say no, they can't make you.
Otherwise the terror will continue. Someone needs to make a stand.

Original poster

jellylegs · 02/12/2010 22:13

Pozzled-Thanks .Good to hear a teachers point of view. I normally do include a card/poem made by my DD but a little busy this year with new baby.....My DD'd teacher is great and I do appreciate her...... MrsDaffodill I probably may of put an amount in a brown envelope(this is common practice in most proffessional places I have worked in) just hate the emerging playground mafia!
Goblinchild

OP posts:

Cyb · 02/12/2010 22:15

£10!! That is too much.

ImNotaCelebrity · 02/12/2010 22:16

Even at DS's extreeeemely middle class school, we only give £5. (The contributions are split between the teacher and two TAs.) £10 is extreme. Either give a smaller amount, or do your own thing. After all, if every person gave £10 they'd have £300!!! Excessive! (As a teacher, I think I'd be embarrassed to get that sort of gift!)

toomanychristmaslights · 02/12/2010 22:17

agree with Cyb I'd find that amount hard to find with more than 1 kid and being on the average wage

thypnochick · 02/12/2010 22:23

Thats a little excessive!!.. I usually a small gift that my son helps to choose, but I would not contribute to a collection like that.

piscesmoon · 02/12/2010 22:25

Mad! I never spend that much. As a teacher I would prefer that someone just gave if they wanted to, and a little card or letter from the DC is much nicer-something homemade that they have put time into.

BranchingOut · 02/12/2010 22:30

As a (hopefully) ex- teacher I have never expected but always appreciated gifts.

Genuiine thanks mean so much more though! Even more, is a bit of understanding of what it takes to plan a trip, put on an assembly or nativity, meet all the competing demands of special occasions/topic days/sports days/celebrations with 30 needy and demanding personalities in the room, on top of the usual 55-60 hr working week. Thinking of some of the recent nativity play moan threads....

I think simple gifts are best - chocolates, small plants, pretty mugs, wine... Better still, ask the teacher what he/she would like.

Love voucher collections - I bought a fabulous pair of trousers from John Lewis vouchers one year and they are in my laundry basket right now. However, I used to feel bad if parents on low incomes had spent money on something that probably wasn't quote to my taste (soap sets etc) and therefore wouldn't get much use. However, I would be horrified if people were feeling forced to contribute a fixed amount to a collection. That is wrong and not at all inclusive.

RoadArt · 02/12/2010 23:31

I would stick to a personal gift. Combined gifts tend to include names of people who havent contributed, or contributed as much, but still get all the credit.

Your Child would want to present a gift, not be told that mum has donated some money to someone else to give a bigger present.

Never ever let anyone pressurise you or make you feel guilty

piscesmoon · 03/12/2010 07:36

I think it means far more to the DC if they have something small to hand over-knowing that Mum has contributed some money isn't very exciting to a 5yr old-it also isn't very personal. You can get a little plant or something for a lot, lot less than £10.

Horopu · 03/12/2010 07:45

The group gift can be made personal - at the schools I have worked at where parents did it each child had a sticker they drew/wrote on and these were all stuck in one big card. Was lovely to have something relatively small to remember all the children (that did it) by. Would not be happy with the idea of anyone having to do it.
Stick to your guns, you are quite right OP.

mrz · 03/12/2010 08:29

As a teacher I say DON'T! It's getting silly we are happy with a thank you and a card (especially one's made by the children).

gingernutlover · 03/12/2010 08:37

i am also a teacher and I second the person who said they would be mortified if they knew this was going on.

It's lovely (but never expect it) getting little gifts from my class as it shows they have thought of me, they are normally a bottle of wine or a box of maltersers. One year i got given a £10 m and s voucher and was truly embrassed that a parent had spent that much - I would be horrified if I was given £10 from every parent.

Just say no and write a nice note thanking the teacher on your bottle of wine - that shows thought and I'm sure the teacher will appreciate it.

grumpypants · 03/12/2010 08:43

I gave ds' former teacher a £10 m and s voucher because I was so thrilled with his progress that year. Hope it wasn't me who made you mortified ginger

gingernutlover · 03/12/2010 08:45

lol grumpypants - no dont think so, it was from a little girls parents

it really was a lovely thought - I was just embarassed for someone to have spent so much on me.

grumpypants · 03/12/2010 08:50

Phew.

BrigitBigKnickers · 03/12/2010 09:06

The mums in the DDs school used to organise a collection for the teacher and the TAs but;

No one pressurised us to contribute.
It was £3 donation (fairly well to do area as well)

They would usually collect around £70 (as some chose to give their own gifts), £15 of which went to the TA, £5 for a box of chocs for the dinner lady then the remaining £50 for gift vouchers for the teacher.

As a teacher myself I never expect gifts but am always over the moon with anything I am given.

£10 per child is a ludicrous amount for a collection. I would be mightily embarrased by such an extravagant amount.

piscesmoon · 03/12/2010 09:59

The things that I treasure are little notes-not ones dictated by the parents but straight from the heart about things the parent couldn't know about-on home made cards.

Lonnie · 03/12/2010 10:02

like Brigitbigknickers the school we have our kids in asked for a donation and no pressure and it was a £3 donation something I was happy to give..

Like one of the mums said if all 30 kids gave £3 then that is £60 for the teacher thats a great amount..

Seona1973 · 03/12/2010 11:17

or even £90!!

Octavia09 · 03/12/2010 11:31

£1.00 donation would be enough for 30 kids. I think any teacher would be happy to receive a £30.00 worth present. I am not stingy but I also have friends, relatives and my own family and I do believe that most of the teachers understand it. And a card from a child with a portrait of a teacher .

goingroundthebend4 · 03/12/2010 15:18

woah no way be doing that infact I feel bad as the prsent as such i brought is infact for the dc in ds unit really .

They use certain games for breath control fine motor etc an d know that the teacher buys a lot of stuff from her own pocket so brought enough for dc have one each and a couple of spares .Job lot came to £30

Ekk should i have brought present just for the teacher

SantasMooningArse · 03/12/2010 16:22

Every year we get tis letter and every eyar it goes in teh bin. I think on averageb each teacher ends up with close to £400 (competitive giving FFS) and I am not going to be part of that shite. Besides I think it is good for the boys to hand gifts across themselves.

This year i have ordered some filigree silver bookmarks which have a piercing for a charm and we are making beaded cahrms (aples foe females, anmes for men). I consider that appropriate.

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