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Original poster

Have to Chip In for teachers Xmas pressie!!

47 replies

jellylegs · 02/12/2010 21:47

Some mums and I have been grabbed in playground of kiddies school and asked to put in £10!!! for teachers Xmas gift. Is it just us or is this a bit to far???To put it into context, the school is small and in working class town(But with lots of wealthy middle class parents attracted by great results).
I was planning a bottle of wine(Sainsburys are doing 25% of 6 bottles!)Views please

OP posts:

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Lydwatt · 03/12/2010 16:26

I'm another teacher who says no!!!! do your own thing...it shouldn't matter to these other mums and if it does, something is VERY wrong.

SE13Mummy · 03/12/2010 16:32

Yet another teacher (plus DH - he's sitting on the sofa as he doesn't teach on Fridays) who says no. Do something small if you/your DC want to but don't get involved with remortgaging to buy the teacher something!

goingroundthebend4 · 03/12/2010 19:28

Can I ask you teachers quickly what I brought is not so much personal for them but Is something that all dc will use fun and doubles up for theraphy to as teacher often buys stuff out own pocket

would it be acceptable or should I have gone with the wine though that would have cost more

SE13Mummy · 03/12/2010 19:30

It sounds like a wonderfully thoughtful gift - I'd be delighted if someone noticed I bought things out of my own money and gave me a useful gift.

Ne11 · 03/12/2010 23:26

I actually think it would be lovely if the money was spent on something for the school/classroom.
I've never understood the Presents for Teachers thing (and I am one!)

MrsDaffodill · 04/12/2010 09:52

Our school do the combined gift thing but with personalisation (stickers for in cards usually).

If I could find the text of the letter I got this year I would post it up as it was really good.

Something like "Please do not feel you need to give to this collection. The class reps are providing this as a service but if you have your own traditions or just don't want to get involved that is obviously your own choice and just fine too. Equally, if your child would like to decorate the cards for the teachers this does not imply you must donate any money. Your child's drawing will be worth more to Mister XX than anything else, after all!

People have asked what to give in the past, and while we are loath to give any guidance we can say that donations are often in the range of £2 - £5 per teacher. Sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes nothing, please make your own choice, especially in this current financial climate".

I usually write my own thank you note and often also give a picture book to the class from our home country at the end of the year, but not at Christmas.

Our school usually give WH Smith vouchers so I guess the teachers could spend it on themselves, the class, or their Christmas shopping as they see fit.

goingmadinthecountry · 04/12/2010 21:46

I really appreciate the thought that parents/children put into cards and presents, especially as I only do supply! Those teachers who complain at a bottle of Merlot because they only drink white really wind me up. I guess most teachers are like me, and a thank you is great. I love home made goodies too and since starting teaching in the 80s have never yet been poisoned by a child made biscuit.

Have given nothing, wine, books, home made goodies, chocs and on one occasion a bottle of Bolly - but teacher was fab and I knew she'd enjoy it. If I give to teachers, I also give to TAs, even if they have little to do with my dcs in class. As a supply teacher they are my lifeline and make going to work far more fun.

BetsyBoop · 04/12/2010 22:05

Oh dear, I think I'm going to look a right skin-flint....

DD has 2 teachers & 4 TAs and as we are pretty broke ATM and with DH being made redundant in February, we can't afford to go mad or try & keep up with this competitive present buying.

However I know DD loves the idea of handing over a little pressie & card & as I'm a papercrafter I've made 6 little parcels something along the same lines of these but Christmassy, with a packet of maltesers in & DD is going to make them each a card & I'll help her write a special message in them (she's only in Reception so can't write it by herself)

I was kinda hoping it's the thought that counts...

goingmadinthecountry · 05/12/2010 00:46

I'd love that Betsy - obviously lots of thought gone into it. As a teacher I'd much rather have well thought out gifts like this than £200 to spend at Monsoon. I find giving money a bit embarrassing/tasteless if I'm honest.

BetsyBoop · 05/12/2010 21:50

thanks goingmad, that makes me feel a bit better :)

panettoinydog · 05/12/2010 22:01

I'd refuse. SIlly idea.

cat64 · 05/12/2010 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

londonartemis · 06/12/2010 10:54

I was asked - very nicely - for £15...Said no!
It's mad all this money on the teachers.

mumoverseas · 06/12/2010 11:08

DD2 just started in F1 in September and I'm a bit shocked the PTA have organised this. We were all given a letter 'demanding' an amount equivalent to approximately 5 pounds (we are abroad). Apparently last term the letters went home in the book bag which some of the teachers felt very uncomfortable about as they felt they were begging for their own present.

To be honest, its probably a lot less than I would have spent but I don't think its right to put pressure on parents which is what appears to happen.

gramercy · 06/12/2010 13:06

This happened to me in the summer. Embarrassingly the Organising Mother was dd's best friend's mum, so I had to cough up. I handed over £5, and then she said that actually, no, it was £10. £10!!!!

The worst point was that then dd said she wanted to buy Miss X something with her own money, and when I said I'd donated, dd was really upset - so I ended up donating £10 and buying a present too.

And then I discovered that most people had baulked at the £10 donation and only five mums had been weak enough to hand over the money.

Furthermore... Organising Mother went in in the morning to present the gift and unbeknownst to me had arranged for the dcs to recite a poem under her direction.

Never again.

Helenagrace · 06/12/2010 14:41

Goodness - hope our playground alpha mummy isn't watching this thread! £10 is ridiculous!

I usually give a practical gift at Christmas - often hand cream as I imagine teachers wash their hands a lot and probably need it. It's also useful to leave at school and they won't need to find somewhere for it to go at home. I make fudge and it's always popular so I usually also send in a box of that for the staffroom which covers the PE teachers and french teachers etc.

At the end of the year I usually give a book token.

ElsieMc · 07/12/2010 11:09

mrz - It's good to hear this comment. I don't get a present for the class teacher and I think it is absolutely ridiculous watching other parents trying to out-do each other at our rather middle class primary school. Most of these parents spend the remainder of the year slagging one particular teacher off and bitching with the PTA. This does not foster a good atmosphere in the school.

I generally send a little thank you card at the end of the year with a personalised message. Two of the staff approached me to say how touched they were with the comments which I also think shows the decent, caring staff. Nothing wrong with a christmas card though.

OP I admire your stand, stick to your guns.

theQuibbler · 07/12/2010 13:13

We've been 'asked' to contribute anything between £10 and £20. (£20! )

DS is in reception - I think it is too much - but still feel obliged to do it.

Changebagsandgladrags · 07/12/2010 13:26

It depends, is the £10 for the teacher and teaching assistant/s? If so, it's not that bad as you'd probably spend that much yourself.

But it shouldn't be compulsory.

Octavia09 · 07/12/2010 13:58

I have not been asked for the contribution yet. I hope I will not be asked to give £10 - £20.00. That is a lot. If I could I would buy a castle for my favourite teacher but then I cannot. £20.00 x 30 kids = £600.00. Wow!

kat2504 · 07/12/2010 22:08

OMG I need to go and work in KS1. Seriously, I am a secondary teacher and usually end up with a bit of pot pourri, a box of chocs, a toiletries set, some cards and a few other small presents. I do appreciate the thanks and the recognition and think it is a lovely gesture. I think getting massive presents of 10 pounds worth per child is ridiculous - that would be 250 quid for me. I do get paid for doing my job! Times are hard for everyone and I would hate to think of people being pressured, especially as schools are often asking for money for this and that trip/activity.
I would much rather have genuine thanks and a nice card, preferably written by the child than any xmas present.

puch · 09/12/2010 12:12

We do a £5.00 each and that for the teacher and 1 TA. We find most people actually prefer to give the money rather than go out and buy two presents which probably work out more expensive. We do however never get the complete class paying into it. Some may not like the teacher or just cannot bothered so end up with about 20 which comes to a £100.00 divided 60/40 which to me the teacher actually prefer rather than lots of presents. Everyone is different and we are never offended if they want to buy their own gifts after all it is a voluntary contribution

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