School stipulating bedtime??

[SuiGeneris]

Is it common for (day) schools to stipulate/suggest a bedtime for children? And, if your school does, do you comply?

One of the schools we are looking at suggests certain bedtimes (7.45pm for 8 years olds, etc). DS is under 1, so difficult to know what will be going on in the SG household 7 years from now, but would be stunned if DS went to bed at that time, as it would mean he would v seldom see DH during the week. Even now, he tends to go to bed between 8 and 9. School is question is otherwise a good option, but I am a bit at the suggested bedtimes and am wondering what would happen if we simply ignored their suggestions and then one day the subject of bedtimes came up at school...

It seems a little futile suggesting a bedtime TBH.

All the sensible parents will be doing it anyway.

All the less sensible ones will ignore and carry on with late bedtimes.

Why are you worrying by the time he starts school things will have changed at least twice

I think you will find once your DS is of school age, they will be ready to go to bed about that time.
My 9 year old goes up at 8, lights out at 9.

I think it is pretty standard actually. Some parents haven't got a clue and allow their Reception aged children to watch films until 10pm on school nights.

These guidlines are there as a 'suggestion'.

What you do is, of course, up to you.

That said, my Year 1 dd is still asleep by 6.30pm on school nights- she just gets too tired!

We often have discussions about different rules for different homes in class.
Bedtimes and rules about shoes on or off in the house, mealtimes, games and what they are allowed to watch on TV.
Bedtimes come under the healthy living umbrella. You are the parent, you choose when your child goes to bed. You also face others disagreeing about you parenting choices, but you will about almost everything you do.

there are researched reasons for amounts of sleep for children and if an 8 year old is asleep by 8pm and has to get up at 7.30pm to get to school say that's 11.5 hours which is probably about right

keeping a 1 year old up till 9 is ok but it gets more difficult as they get older until they hit about 10 or 11 IME - DH will have to just get home earlier

I've not known it and would think the school can only advise it. They can't enforce it.

But I think you'll find that as your DS gets older, especially once he starts playschool, school he'll go to bed earlier as he'll be more tired and he won't be napping during the day. My DD is 9 and heads upstairs at 7:30, after messing about stories, teeth, wash, etc it'll be nearer 8:00pm by the time light is out.

Sounds like a school that's been having problems with over-tired DCs.

I'm always surprised how different people views on normal bedtime for kids are.

Both of my dc are in bed already, unusually early for a weekend but they're knackered. It's usually about 6.30-7. They are almost 2 and almost 6. Dd has school friends that's don't go to bed till 9.30 every night.

It's horses for courses really. My horses need 13 hours most nights or they are vile.

Our school hasn't said anything to us about bedtimes but maybe they would if dd was going in exhausted or was misbehaving, I dunno.

But the OP's child is under one, so she has yet to face the world of horror and grumpiness that will be the result of keeping him awake so that dad can spend quality time with him in the evening.
She may learn from first-hand experience, or she may enforce her idea of a bedtime, or she may be blessed with a child who only needs a few hours sleep.
Who knows what the future holds.?

I sympathise about your DH not seeing DS much in the week but that is true of many working parents, dads especially.

The fact is that most children need 11-12 hours sleep at night, and as a teacher as well as a parent you can tell which ones really ought to go to bed earlier, their brains just don't function as well!

Can DH get back earlier occasionally? He might just have to accept that your DS is likely to be ready for bed earlier as he gets older and more active (fewer naps etc).

I never say anything about it- but it's very interesting when you're doing topics like time and the talk of when kids go to bed comes up in class. Funnily you can usually guess with about 99% accuracy who the mega-late bedtime brigade are.

I wonder why!

That's what weekends are for, and in the holidays when you can have later bedtimes and mornings.

Its just a suggestion and they probably get fed up of children being too tired to concentrate during lessons.

When 5 my DD went to bed at seven, she needed a good 12 hours sleep every night I reckon most children at that age do.

ds (4) is normally in bed for 7.30pm and dd (nearly 7) has lights out at 8pm. I dont let them up much later than that at the weekend either as they dont tend to lie in later after a late night.

I was thinking of some of our spectrum cherubs when I said that she might be blessed with a child who needs little sleep Riven.

We have sort of the opposite problem, dd and ds1 have always gone to bed around 7.30... they're children who need lots of sleep and on school nights are exhausted the next morning if they don't get at least 12 hours.

however all the extra curricular activities for their age group around here go on until 7.30/8 or even later which means they don't get to bed til close to 9... far too late for them and they're shattered all week as a result.

Some of dd's friends stay up until ridiculous times and it really shows in their bahaviour and energy levels

OP - your child is still very young and still naps.

Once a child hits about 2-3yrs old, naps are no more! Also starting nursery etc they get tired very easily.

DD1 is 6yrs old. Bed at 8pm and straight to sleep.

DD2 is almost 5yrs old. Bed at 7.30pm and straight to sleep.

DS is almost 3yrs old and usually goes to bed about 6.45pm, although he is in bed now as just too tired today!

We have only just changed bedtimes as DS used to go at 6.15 and both DDs at 7pm but we found moving it slightly later meant an extra 45mins in the morning! Lovely!

OP, basically if you want your kids to go to bed later, that's fine, but you will probably (for the kids' sake) need to let them sleep at some other point in the day. I think (hope?) this is what happens in a lot of other cultures - here (UAE) there are kids of all ages out in the malls until late at night; I suspect many of them have a 'siesta' (until about 10 years ago, split shifts for offices and shops were common - people did go home to rest in the middle of the day). My 3 year old was invited to a local girl's birthday party that wasn't scheduled to end until 7.30 - he was flagging so much towards the end that we had to go home early. The children's hairdresser we go to had opening hours during Ramadan of 5.30pm - midnight.

So yes kids can stay up late - but they still need the same amount of sleep. Whether an 8 year old could face admitting to his mates that he has a sleep in the day in a culture where naps are for babies and grannies is another matter - and playdates and afterschool activities would presumably not be very compatible with an after-school nap?

If I stuck my 8yos in bed at 7:45 pm they'd be bouncing on my head by 6:20am. I really don't need any of us to be up that early, ta.

I don't know if other people are clueless and need very specific bdirections, but I think you have to take any bit of advice with a pinch of salt.

As with a lot of things about children - it's not a one size fits all approach.

From 6 weeks old, my dd was sleeping 6pm-8am, when she started pre-school this was 6pm-7.30am to get her to school on time, she then slept 6pm-9am on weekends to make up for the time during the week. Now at secondary school 10pm-7am is her sleeping time.

From 6 weeks old, my ds was sleeping 11pm-11am, when he started pre-school this was 10pm-7.30am, sleeping 10pm-10am to catch up at weekends. Now in yr1 he is in asleep at 9.45pm-7.30am.

DS is not allowed downstairs after 8pm. DD after 9pm.

Therefore if school stipulated this we'd be breaking it.

My twins are nearly 7 and really need their sleep, they are in bed 7-7.30 and asleep by 8 so the suggestion in OP seems reasonable