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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Telling Children to Shut Up

31 replies

MaudOHara · 21/09/2010 13:33

Is it ok?

We don't say it at home - unless I'm really loosing it, but NQT in Y2/3 class has been saying it and it just doesn't sit right with me.

One of DDs friends mentioned it and DD confirmed that the teacher says it regularly and is a bit "shouty" and bangs the desk.

Don't know whether I'm being a bit PFB

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ConnorTraceptive · 21/09/2010 13:35

No that doesn't sit right with me either. There are plenty of firm ways to say "be quiet" without saying shut up.

I have said it to my dc's and I always cringe afterwards because it does sound awful and they will certainly start to copy.

LindyHemming · 21/09/2010 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 21/09/2010 13:36

Ds would really, really hate that It's not right IMO.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 21/09/2010 13:37

Ds used to have a headmaster that would tell him to 'shut up'. I moved him to a different school.

seeker · 21/09/2010 13:38

We don't use shut up and i wouldn't want a teacher to use it on a regular basis. But I would be a bit careful about challenging her about it unless you are absolutely sure it's not your child that's driving her to it.........!

FranSanDisco · 21/09/2010 13:38

I have said it to my own when losing the plot but wouldn't expect a professional to do this really. Poor NQT must be feeling the pressure I expect, no excuse though.

littlemisslost · 21/09/2010 13:39

perhaps theyre just trying to assert some authority as a NQT and maybe a friendly word with HT for some 'support' would be good ? depends on the context really, a shouty, desk banging shut up implies they are struggling?

c0rns1lk · 21/09/2010 13:41

No not good at all.

BeerTricksPotter · 21/09/2010 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollieO · 21/09/2010 13:50

Ds's year 1 teacher told ds to 'zip it'. Not a NQ one either. Have to say if I had to have ds in a classroom all day I'd probably say the same.

Eglu · 21/09/2010 13:52

Not acceptable at all for a teacher to use that language to a class. Prents may say ti in the heat of the moment. A teacher should find better ways of disciplining.

Egg · 21/09/2010 13:53

I do say it to my own DC (even though I made a rule with myself I never would, I can't stop myself sometimes when they scream all day...). However if I ever do accidentally say it, DS1 gets v upset and says "that's not very nice mummy" so then I feel bad.

Would not expect a teacher to say it. Although am sure most of them think it regularly!!!!

LindyHemming · 21/09/2010 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DreamTeamGirl · 21/09/2010 14:29

I dont as a rule use it, but there are occasions... Its either that or completely lose the plot!!!!

Not good from a teacher tho

strawberrycake · 21/09/2010 14:51

I have used in twice in class over the years, but that child REALLY need to hear it! Sorry if you disagree but it did him good to hear something other than 'ok precious..'

Generally though, no it's awful to use in class. I used it when well and truely at the end of my wick, also in a high school.

getabloodygrip · 21/09/2010 14:56

It is generally wrong.

For a NQT it is unbelievably wrong, surely a disciplinary offence?

MadAboutQuavers · 21/09/2010 14:57

Not good at all with little ones

It implies a lack of control and sounds abusive in a primary school environment

littlebylittle · 21/09/2010 14:59

wrong!! acceptable for parent to say it in time of extreme stress and feel sorry afterwards. Very unprofessional for teacher and shows lack of respect for pupils.

Feenie · 21/09/2010 15:03

No, of course it isn't a disciplinary offence! It isn't v polite though - I have only ever used it as a very last resort to underline how rude a child is being, if I've already asked them politely to be quiet more than once. And I would reiterate that it's a rude way to ask someone to be quiet.

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 21/09/2010 15:04

unacceptable IMO.

littlebylittle · 21/09/2010 15:07

I would mention it to the teacher in the first instance, if you decide to take action - he/she is an NQT in first few weeks and to give your child best experience they need to be given chance to teach. If not better pretty much immediately then ask to speak to line manager who may not necessarily be head, could be mentor. Best to help teachers improve, esp this early on.

PixieOnaLeaf · 21/09/2010 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

roadkillbunny · 21/09/2010 16:04

Euphemia, due to my Scottish Grandmother I have always used wheesht, with my children now it's ;will you wheesht that noise!'
I have used 'shut up' a couple of times and apologised after and told dd (and ds now he his 2.5 years) that it is not a nice way to say it and 'please be quiet' is much nicer if you need to say anything at all, to my great shame dd went through a phase of telling the dog to 'shut up' have managed to change that now, I would not be very happy with dd hearing it from a teacher, kind of contradicts what I am teacher her at home.
It does sound like she may be having a hard few weeks settling in, the first half term for any NQT can be quite hard, maybe have a chat with her say something like 'X told me to 'shut up' yesterday, can't think where he is getting it from, if he says it in class could you correct him please' or something along those lines, might make her think, she might not realise what she is saying and why it isn't appropriate other then that I would be tempted to wait a few weeks and see if things settle down.
(sorry if I have crossed posts with anyone, started before the school run and finished on return )

Original poster

MaudOHara · 21/09/2010 16:39

Thanks for all the replies - its good to know that I am not being PFB (well PSB) in my reaction.

Am pretty sure its not DD thats causing it she's a cheeky madam at home but good as gold and terrified of being told off by Miss B at school.

Now that I know I'm not unusual in my response I may have a discreet word - it does sound like she is loosing control and having been a parent helper for many years at the school, I do know that there are a few challenging boys in that class [said as parent of very challenging boy]

OP posts:

shanefolan29 · 23/12/2016 01:47

while it's easy to say this is unacceptable we might want to take a step back here and look at the bigger picture. Yes it's not a respectful way to treat children but teachers are human too-all will make mistakes at some point in their career, just like all professionals. Beside this, there are some students in all age groups that are extremely rude and difficult with teachers-especially new teachers who they try and test . That and very often a kid's version of events to parents and the actual truth are very different I have found from years of teaching. I'm not condoning what the teacher did but the teacher may have said it once and once only in the heat of the moment but a child will then say they say it 'all the time', the teacher may even have said 'shut up' in a completely different context-believe me these things do happen and kids go and interpret things totally wrong. The teacher may have lightly tapped a table to get silence yet a child will make it sound much more dramatic than what happened-never be too quick to listen to chinese whispers from children of any school age as they will often be exaggerating, completely lying or conveniently omit any information that would place them in the wrong.

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