Thinking of terminating 3rd pregnancy.

[Uncertainfuture1]

Please no judgement, seriously struggling as it is.

i found out I am pregnant with our 3rd. Husband wants to terminate due to financial reasons although is supportive to what I decide. I agree with him, we have to think of the 2 children we have now. They wouldn’t get the life we have now which is just scraping by for a cheap holiday once a year and a few days out, so nothing extravagant. We didn’t have this as children so even cheap things are big for us and we are proud we can give our children more than we had.

I feel really guilty already. We aren’t really materialistic but it’s the fact they won’t even have a cheap holiday in a caravan or to go out to softplay or bowling because the price for 5 is more than we have. They deserve to do these things but is that a good enough reason really?

We visit family every few months as we live far away and we won’t be able to afford that any more as we just about scrape the money for 1 hotel room now, hotel rooms don’t take 3 children after the last one is 2 so we’d need 2 rooms. We just don’t have much left over every month as it is and I fear it might even get worse with the cost of living. I also have high risk labours so will have to have another section plus I get gestational diabetes so pregnancy in general is terrifying for me to think about coping with again.

My head says the best thing we can do is terminate. My heart says this is something living inside of me with a heartbeat and what if I always think what if, who would they be, what if I feel guilty for the rest of my life even knowing it was the right decision for us as a family and I can’t ever get over it?

I was also really looking forward to getting back into work soon as my oldest is due to start reception this year with the youngest due in to start in 2 more years. I’ve been a SAHM as nursery fees for 2 made it not worthwhile to work. I was nervous but excited about getting out the house working and earning money again, actually buying makeup or clothes and not just making do with old rubbish with holes in!! Just not being ‘just mum’ like I have for the past few years. I was going to get a life soon and we was all going to flourish. I’ve only just started sleeping again now my kids sleep most of the night. I’m just a bit lost and guilty that materialistic things aren’t a good enough reason to terminate so therefore I’ll always feel guilty. My kids don’t NEED a cheap holiday to be happy.. it’s just that I really wanted them to have them and experiences. 😞

hi OP, no judgment from me, I had an abortion in the past due to financial reasons. It was such a tough decision and something I go back and forth with even now, but ultimately I know I made the right decision. I felt like it wouldn’t be fair on the baby to just be scraping by. They would’ve been fed and clothed etc but I wouldn’t have been able to provide them with the best experience nor the best version of myself because I know i’d be stressed about money. After my abortion I was able to get in a much better place financially & I am actually now currently pregnant again, this time I can provide way better.

I say all this to say, it’s completely your decision and I know some say money isn’t everything but with you also having high risk labours there’s quite a bit to consider for your other 2. Is going ahead with the pregnancy what’s best for them? It sounds like you had big plans that would positively impact yourself and your little ones..

Again no judgment just sharing my experience, it’s a tough decision so be gentle with yourself and I hope it works out well whatever decision you make!!