Going ahead with “bad timing” pregnancy?

[Potterygal]

Just looking to hear experiences of anyone who has been faced with a “bad timing” pregnancy, whether you went ahead with it or not.

I might be facing that decision. Terrible timing - husband between work contracts so wouldn’t get shared pat leave, the bloody cost of living crisis (I earn fairy well, but doesn’t feel like it right now). It would be our third child. We hadn’t closed the door on the idea of a third, but NO WAY would we have chosen now! Even a month later would be better. More likely it would have been a year or two down the line, if ever.

In theory, I could end this pregnancy and we could try again at a later date if we want. But in reality it’s not that easy, is it? Or is it?

The only person that can make the decision is you, do what's best for you

Even a month later would be better

Would 4 weeks really make enough difference that you would terminate and try again in a few weeks?

It’s exactly that easy, if that’s what you feel you need to do

I made that decision 6 months ago and we are soon to TTC after getting married. Our wedding is 2 weeks before what my due date would’ve been. I don’t really regret it, and see it in a way of you are making the kindest choice for now. If you didn’t make this decision now, you’d never meet the child to come in the future. Also- this decision, to possibly terminate, is reversible (by trying again). Continuing with the pregnancy and deciding to have a child now is not reversible and is a forever thing. Sending hugs x

My pregnancy wasn't planned and bad timing but went ahead with it 🥰

That's your choice, just because it's working out for you, doesn't mean it will for others

Sorry you are in this situation.

I've had 2 friends in this situation unexpected third pregnancy didn't go ahead and both said they could never ever consider another pregnancy after it.

If a month would be better then the problem isn't all that big. I mean a baby cab cone 4 weeks early no issue so surely the same?

Thank you ❤️

We would not try again in a few weeks (no way). But I more meant if the accidental pregnancy had occurred next cycle, my husband would be on his new work contract and get shared pat leave. Just an example of how bad the timing is really.

There’s never a perfect time, what if your dp had been made redundant when you were too late to terminate? Or became ill? Realistically would he have taken shared Pat leave? Can you cover that cost using savings?

It's up to you. How pregnant are you? It's very different terminating a small gamete to a formed baby.
Personally, if I was over 12 weeks I wouldn't (and didn't)

It doesn't matter how pregnant op as long she is in the requirement of getting an abortion she can, although it is much difficult (so I heard). The point is OP is stating it's not the right time and if she will regret the termination that's the advise she is looking for. 🙂

@NoKnit Unfortunately the cut off for claiming shared parental leave (and pat leave) is if you’ve started the job when the baby is conceived, so the timing is particularly bad. Financially it makes more sense for my husband to take shared parental leave. Obviously not a deciding factor by itself, but still not ideal.

I believe it was meant to be and would never go through with a termination

Thank you for sharing your experience, that is helpful.

I know exactly what you mean with “if you didn’t make this decision now, you’d never meet the child to come in the future”. I had been thinking along those lines. But then that pushes me towards the idea of having a third at some point in the future (almost so I can use that logic to make peace in my mind, if that makes sense). But then I think - if we would likely then have a third, then why not just have this third? And the logic goes round and round.

FWIW I am testing negative at the moment, but nine days late. Total headfuck.

Good for you but she wasn’t asking about your situation.

Are you not Pregnant? Your opinion isn't relevant, trying to make others that are going through this feel worse... Please just stop

This is not a helpful comment.

If you’re getting negative tests when your period is nine days overdue from when it would usually come you’re probably not pregnant!

If you’re nine days late and testing negative you’re obviously not pregnant so don’t worry about it.

Yeah, this!

FWIW I believe DH and I were about 75-25 in favour of sticking with two kids, before the current situation…. But we are both from three-child families so it was always something which wasn’t off the table completely. More like a fun but crazy idea for a fantasy future, perhaps, one where we have more money. Not for our current reality.

Okay, I bloody hope this is true!

I am young (late 20s), no gynae health conditions, never had a single irregular period before. And we have used withdrawal this month (stupid I know). Plus I seem to recall when I tested for my last baby, it was negative until maybe 7 days post period, then positive, so I think I ovulated late.

But I very much hope you’re right.

When I was 9 days I was testing negative up until 8 weeks and I started to get really faint lines, this never changed, I went on to have a healthy baby boy full time. Have you tried digital test? If period doesn't show within the next week I would book a doctors appointment for a hcg

I disagree - hence posting!