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Original poster

Do men always (think they) want sons?

37 replies

neutralnickname · 12/10/2009 15:32

Is it because they can imagine bonding with their mini-me's better than with a daughter?

Anyone had a DP/H actually disappointed/less interested when presented with a DD(and apologies for bringing it up if so ?

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TrillianSlasher · 12/10/2009 15:35

No children yet (and no immediate plans) but DP is actually more keen for a DD who will of course be a Daddy's girl.

(where more = slightly further along the scale from 'no way man' to 'I want babies NOW' - not indicating actual keenness)

pagwatch · 12/10/2009 15:36

no

Dh was as excicted about DD as he was about DS. No difference at all. There never was - he didn't care if we had a boy or a girl - justr wanted a baby

reikizen · 12/10/2009 15:36

No, my dp wanted girls. Was a bit worried about having a boy second time round infact but she very considerately was a girl too!

Snorbs · 12/10/2009 15:52

I'm a dad and I've got a DS and a DD. I've got no preferences either way - they're both fab.

MrsBadger · 12/10/2009 15:54

in their imaginations yes because of mini-me phenomenon, future games of football etc

in reality all the ones I know have been smitten by their daughters once they are born and they realise that girls do not arrive dressed in pink frills and demanding ponies.

UnquietDad · 12/10/2009 15:54

No. Why?...

I wanted 2 girls or 1 of each (we got the latter). 2 sons would have been a nightmare.

BexJ78 · 12/10/2009 16:38

my DH did initially say he would have preferred a boy, I think because he is from a very male family (ie, three brothers, no sisters, predominantly male cousins etc..)
But scan showed we are having a DD and he really seems to be coming round to the idea. I think he is really quite excited!!

extremelychocolateymilkroll · 12/10/2009 17:18

Have 1 dd and another on the way. Dh very pleased with both - thinks it will be nice for dd to have a sister. Every guy I know who has a dd spoils her rotten.

heavenstobetsy · 12/10/2009 17:26

my DP didn't have any preference first time round - we got DD. This time he was keen on another DD and I am pretty sure his face dropped for a couple of seconds when the sonographer said boy!

he really didn't care either way - he just wanted children

xmaximumx · 12/10/2009 17:44

I'm pregnant with our first and my DP wants a boy, I think it's the mini me complex but one of his main concerns is having to take a little girl into the mens room if he takes her out on his own! We don't find out for another few weeks but I'm sure he'll be delighted either way, he's such a softie he'd love to have a daddy's girl, although I do worry that if it is a girl he won't let her date until she's at least 40.

AllGoneSouth · 12/10/2009 17:49

DH wasn't bothered either way with both pregnancies, which resulted in our DDs. I asked him a few years ago if he would ever want to try for a boy but said he was more than happy with what we had and had never felt he's missed out in any way.

Although tbh now that they are teenagers he doesn't always 'get' them (loves them to bits though )

Tomatefarcie · 12/10/2009 17:50

We have 2 DDs, and Dp was very disappointed both times. Well, more the second time really. He didn't bond with DD2 for months, didn't hold her much at first, didn't help me at all, and to be honest, it's left me bitter.

He loves them both like mad now, they're Daddy's girls. He is so proud of them, I have seen him have tears in his eyes with pride, but he says he doesn't feel complete without a son.

We're expecting a third now, and I have been "preparing" him for another girl, just in case.

It makes me very , I have to say.

jellybeans · 12/10/2009 17:59

I find, in general, men often would like boys and women girls, if they have more than one. Just a general observation, I was never bothered either way,DH was very happy with DDs but was over the moon when we had DS as he had hoped for a son one day, only told me this after we had DS!! Not to say he preferred any gender at all, he just thought be nice to experience each.

HeadFairy · 12/10/2009 18:00

when we found out we're expecting a girl for dc2 dh did say "oh well, at least I've got ds to concentrate on". I know he's talking crap even if he doesn't... dd will be as much of a daddy's girl as ds is a mummy's boy! Both my nieces adore him and he's brilliant with them so I suspect he'll be eating his words very soon after she arrives!

blondiep14 · 12/10/2009 18:26

My Dad wanted girls, and got 3. He didn't want mini-me's because he was a nightmare!

JaMmRocks · 12/10/2009 18:30

I do think DP wanted a son first time, but this was fuelled by not actually wanting a baby at all DS1 was a (happy in the end) accident. The second time he didn't really mind, thought having a girl would be nice but not enough to care either way. Cue arrival of DS2

Mama2b5 · 12/10/2009 22:01

Got 3 DD between us already, so i really want a DS, DH said his not really bothered just wants healthy baby, but i said "i sure am"! so im more bothered then he is! clearly!

yousaidit · 12/10/2009 22:04

no, dh adores dd, and quite bviously different in his behaviour to ds . in fact i would say dh seemed quite underwhelmed at the arrival of ds, who i adore. i hate thinking about it, tbh.

ErikaMaye · 12/10/2009 22:46

DP really wanted a little girl, until we went to the 20 week scan and saw he was most certainly a boy - then he went around grinning like a Cheshire cat regardless He spent the weeks before we found out taking every oppotunity to say to my belly "Be a girl!!!". Now he keeps proudly telling everyone within earshot that we're expecting a son

My dad on the other hand is very favoured towards my brother.

GoppingOtter · 12/10/2009 22:49

yousaidit - time will change that x

ShutUpandDrinkYourGin · 12/10/2009 22:57

we don't have children yet but DP is keen to have at least one son, though I've questioned him on this and he says he would be very happy with daughters

I think the thing for him is that he's only got brothers and has no real experience of little girls but has a little godson he adores - it's a lack of experience really

paddyclamp · 12/10/2009 22:58

DH really wanted a boy when DS was born..he tried to hide it but admitted it one night when drunk! He was soooooooo proud and happy when DS arrived and i love watching the 2 of them do "boy" things together

Having said that he really dotes on DD who arrived 2 years later too

lola0109 · 12/10/2009 22:59

We have DD and DC2 on the way. I was convinced DP wanted a boy first time round but he was adament he was fine either way. He has since admitted he was glad it was a girl as he wouldn't know what to do with a boy, raised with his mum and 2 sisters and no real male role model.

My sister had my nephew at same time we had DD and DP says now he would be more confident if it was a boy but he would love another girl if it was like DD!! God i couldn't cope with two DD's! DD1 is so independent, cheeky, bossy...just like her mum

Georgimama · 12/10/2009 22:59

DH initially wanted a daughter. He got a son who he adores.

EdgarAllenPoo · 12/10/2009 23:02

no. my DH wanted little girl, was slightly disappointed not to get two, though DS is a lovely little sweetie and we were both truky delighted....

i think men who have difficult relations with the other men in their family are unlikely to want sons. my own dad would have happily had just girls too - didn't get on with father or brother. husband also doesn't get on with brother, and didn't with this dad. that's my theory anyway.