Did you have a memorable and enjoyable birth? Tell me about it please!

[Lilylorna]

Hi baby mummas. Looking for some advice and stories of your own births so that I can try to have a better birth than my first.
My first all happened really quick, waters broke at 10:30pm. By 2am I was 6cm dilated and hooked up to machines to monitor my baby's heart rate which they thought kept dropping. 5am I had morphine for the pain. 8:30am episiotomy and baby was born naturally with one last push before being forceped out.

I remember nothing but pain from start to finish.
The gas and air made any memories I did have feel like an out of body experience. Kind of like being drunk.

I would love to remember my second birth. Yes I know pain is inevitable, but how can I ease that and still be aware of everything? Am I dreaming of a magical scenario that doesn't actually exist?

I read books on hypnobirthing and essentially "breathing the baby out" which I personally, and maybe wrongly, thought was a lot of nonsense. But you know what, with my second I am happy to hear your story if you have a genuinely good one. Not just one to push the hypnobirthing agenda.

Tell me your positive stories. What you did to make it happen. And how much you remember.

Ps. I know that no baby gets your birthing plan emailed to your womb before birth so all this planning might be for nothing. But worth a shot either way!

Both of my births were quick - first was six hours from first sign to baby and second was 40 mins from 2cm to holding baby. Needed an episiotomy with the first and had a big PPH and second was induced due to slowed growth so I didn't have high hopes but it was great.

I did do hypnobirthing and while I also felt the visualisation stuff was a bit hippy dippy for me, the controlled breathing was very helpful. I was so calm and in control that the midwife didn't believe me when I said I was ready to push with my second and wasn't in the room when she was born. I just cracked on. DH ran out of the room shouting "there's a baby" and that "it was above his pay grade!" 😂

I don't know about breathing the baby out, but it was involuntary and felt like a particularly satisfying diarrhoea cramp push! Good luck!

I did a hypnobirthing course with my second, which definitely helped. I was very relaxed through most of my labour (water birth).

There's an element too of just knowing what to expect that will help you feel more in control. You've had time to process what you didn't get last time and to research what you want this time.

I think the process is so intense that whatever you do it will be a bit of a blur when you look back on it.

With DD2 I had a lovely calm home birth and caught her myself in the pool. That part was really important to me and I still can't really actually remember doing it.

If you're not keen on gas and air id definitely recommend water, a labour comb (you squeeze it during contractions and it sort of redirects the pain, probably not for everyone but worked amazingly for me) and breathing techniques but actually practice them. Popthatmumma on Instagram has some amazing tutorials and tracks you can download to properly practice and get in the zone.

Good luck!

I've had many dc. The key ime is to accept the level of pain and breathe. .the fear the pain is so bad something must be wrong was always a concern for me.
If things dont feel OK tell your mw. They mentioned section when ds's heart rate dipped. I asked if I could turn over to my other side like how I slept. Heart rate righted itself. I've had some enjoyable births honestly ..

My first birth was just horrid pain and not a good experience - induction, episiotomy, forceps, no pain relief - so I was fearful for the second one. But it was great! I went into it with the mindset that anything can happen so just go with the flow.
But, my contractions started properly at 11pm, got to hospital at 12:15 and baby was born less than 15 mins later. Yes it hurt and being sat in the car didn’t help as I couldn’t get remotely comfy. But it was a different pain than first time round. Less intense. Not sure how to put it into words really. Overall a good birth I think!
A midwife friend once me that they all want to be with the second time mums as they’re usually the quickest and easiest births.

I was induced for my second (just the internal gel, not the drip) and really tried to focus on my breathing and relaxing my body with every contraction, vs what I did with my first which was sort of fight against every contraction and tense my whole body. It definitely made a massive difference.

I absolutely did not breathe the baby out without much pain. It hurt! But consciously not tensing against the contraction did absolutely help.

I absolutely loved both of mine - both planned CSs (with different degrees of planning). Lovely people were involved and there were super calm.

I was induced both times, giving birth 2hrs 35min and 5 hrs 11min later.
The second was harder work as I was tired, but I can say quite honestly neither hurt that much. In fact, after the first I could have done it again.
Sickmaking ain’t I!

I had two straightforward and fairly quick births. I didn’t have epidural or gas and air. For the first one I got sent home with sleeping tablets- I think they didn’t believe me when I said how much pain I was in because it was my first baby. They sent me home and I was back about an hour later, fully dilated and ready to push. It was a ‘textbook’ birth with no intervention but nonetheless I found it traumatic because no one believed me when I said I was in agony, and I ended up spending so much time in the car (first a long journey to a birthing centre and then another longish journey to a hospital, then home then back to the hospital). I just felt terrified and convinced I was dying.

I had the second one at home and it was a totally different experience. This baby was nearly 2lbs heavier than the first, but it was a doddle. Yes, it was extremely painful and when I got to the transition I said ‘I can’t do this’, but then I did and it was wonderful. The key difference between the two experiences was fear. The fear made my first birth a difficult experience. The second time I felt in control. Partly because I was at home but also because I knew what to expect. When the pain got completely unbearable I knew I was nearly there.

I really hope you have a more positive experience second time around.

I had a pretty similar birth the first time around to you, and was dreading the second, but it was much better; in fact, it was genuinely enjoyable. I felt amazing after it. I had a great midwife who helped position me, so I didn't tear. I think hypnobirthing or any type of relaxation would help, plus your body seems to know what it's doing the second time around. I hope it goes well for you.

One word: epidural. Pain free and you know what’s going on. Who needs pain?

I loved all of my four! I’m kind of sad I won’t get to do it again! I had gas and air for the first three but really didn’t want to be out of it for the last so managed without. I just kept telling myself that only the middle 30 seconds of each contraction was really painful and you can put up with anything for 30 seconds. And every contraction you get through is closer to the end. Good luck! I hate the fearmongering that goes on with birth. PP is right, just go with it, don’t fight it and you’ll have your baby soon enough.

My first was horrid pain start to finish, my second was very manageable. I just went with the flow more the second time.

I definitely found hypnobirthing helped me - I used the Positive Birth Company. I had 3 planned homebirths. Each was different and very special.

My youngest was born in the summer and there was such a lovely moment where the contractions stopped for a moment after pushing, and the sunlight was streaming in and I was in the birth pool. I knew she would be born very soon and it felt so peaceful.

I’m sorry you had such a difficult first experience and I really hope your next birth is better for you x

I hope it works for you OP. It will be lovely if it does,

I had 40 hours labour before they had to put me under when they lost ds' heartbeat, so I don't actually remember giving birth at all, which makes me feel a bit of a fraud. I'm just thankful we both came home safe. I settled for that.

My first birth was pretty standard. Started with my waters breaking as I got out of bed, and was 10 hours start to finish. No pain relief. She was small but I still tore and had a few stitches.

Second birth was a wild ride. Contractions started at 11pm after having sex. I was only 38 weeks (my first didn't come until 41 weeks) and they were irregular, although painful, so I thought it was just Braxton hicks or prodromal labour.

The contractions kept me up all night and by the morning I was starting to think something was really happening. Went to get checked and they said the contractions were not strong on the monitor and it was just Braxton hicks and that they'd "see me in a couple of weeks."

Drove home thinking that I was being a big baby about the pain and had somehow forgotten what labour felt like. I was even getting nervous for the real thing because these Braxton hicks were already becoming excruciating and I didn't know if I'd be able to handle real labour, if this wasn't it.

Got home and had a bath, contractions extremely painful now but the water was helping slightly. Then I literally saw the baby's head move down further into my pelvis. Very weird looking.

Got out and couldn't talk or walk through the contractions anymore. Finally decided to go back to hospital, even though I was still convinced that they would send me home again.

We started driving and I had the urge to push. I pulled my leggings down and did a tiny little push and waters audibly popped and went everywhere. DH and I are both panicking. I reach down and can feel the baby's head already. A couple of pushes and his head is completely out as we pull up outside the hospital. DH runs around to the passenger side and catches the rest of him!

Cost us €600 to get the car cleaned. And poor toddler DD was in the backseat and terrified the whole time.

2 quick births, difficult first birth with only gas and air, very very similar to what youve described! I had a lovely 2nd birth with an epidural. I invested more time into hypnobirthing, and learned to advocate more for myself. I had an app that was linked to a spotify playlist to help me through contractions at home. As soon as I got to hospital I made it known that I went very quick the last time and I found all the staff were very responsive to that (unlike the previous time where I was ignored because they thought a FTM was being dramatic!!!) I breathed through everything until I could get the epidural. I think knowing I had gone quick the first time helped mentally with that because I knew it would end soon. Once I got the epidural it was a dream!

I had two lovely births. Both home water births, first one was most of the day (waters broke at 5 am, baby was born at half past midnight), the second was two hours!

I don't think I did anything in particular, just the luck of the draw and a wonderful midwife.

Same here - I had an early epidural with regular top ups. Had a lovely sleep, watched the Wimbledon final and painlessly gave birth - to twins. Perfect birth

First birth was horrible and stressful. Second birth at a different hospital was amazing. Difference for me was birthing pool. I genuinely can’t remember being in pain as soon as I entered the water. It was so calming. But then I’m a massive fan of long hot baths and I know water births aren’t for everyone!

The birth of my son would have been amazing if they had followed my birth plan that I constantly discussed with the midwives. I specifically asked for maximum pain relief including early epidural because I always knew I wouldnt be able to cope with it with Comples PTSD.
I was repeatedly ignored and left in awful pain for 12 hours and was getting very distressed. I repeatedly asked the midwives to follow my bith plan and was spoken to like a 5 year old. I was finally given an epidural after Id cracked mentally and was crying hysterically and could no longer follow instructions or speak and they obviously realised they had gone too far.
After the birth I needed sectioning for psychiatric treatment and so missed the whole gentle birth Id been trying to achieve and the first few months of my baby's life.
Those bitches took the whole pleasure of my son's life and birth away from me by making me break.
I have CPTSD from childhood sexual abuse and extreme violence and yet despite knowing this they subjected me to what I considered torture physical and mental not because they didnt have epidurals available but to satisfy their own natural birth agenda.
I eventually put in a formal complaint which was brushed under the carpet and I was too ill to pursue it.
I never had any more children.

All I can say is thank god I didn’t have a ‘birth plan’ because everything that could’ve gone wrong, basically went wrong
People seem more traumatised about my birth than me… I had NO pregnancy complications so I was expecting a bog standard experience.
I started timing contractions and they seemed close and I do have a very low pain threshold so we went to the hospital a little bit prematurely.
Took my blood pressure and it was sky high - off the charts! I think I was only 1-2cm dilated but because my blood pressure had rocketed they induced me. Started the process at 6pm… I started gas and air which I found very fun and even my husband had a few puffs. Then as the pain got worse apparently I became rather psychotic… the midwife thought I was crazy. I ended up begging for an epidural at about 2am. I got so flustered with the pain the epidural couldn’t come quick enough. Whilst we were waiting for it to work my baby’s heart rate either went sky high (or low I actually can’t remember) but it was bad enough that they rushed me in for an emergency C section. Husband was in scrubs. Then suddenly it was ‘oh heart rate is back to normal let’s wait for a normal delivery’ but of course me and my husband were like “let’s not risk it and get the baby out… they didn’t let us so had to wait.

started ‘pushing’ 10:00 the next morning… needed forceps because they lost his pulse .placed him into my arms and then I literally said ‘I’m dying I can’t feel my face’… I passed out then woke up needing a blood transfusion which I refused and had an iron drip instead.

went home the next day and thankfully my husband fed me lots of steak and spinach and helped with my recovery. I remember it well but the epidural definitely gave me some brain fog. I just felt so out of it in the C section theatre. I was scared but also so numb physically and mentally

I look back at the night and it’s like a drunken memory almost… totally worth it! But everyone was worried I would find the whole thing traumatic but frankly im just happy my baby was safe and he’s now 6 months and very cheeky.

for my second I would love to not have epidural… but I said that with my first but it was just too painful

Hope this is reassuring, my first birth was back to back in an mlu.. 18 hrs, slow dialation, extremely painful contractions. I was in so much pain I blacked out the memories, but apparently I became really aggressive and they had to hold me still to get the epidural in, extremely traumatic I thought I would never have another baby.

I just had my dd 8 months ago in the same mlu and my second baby was a breeze, she was facing the optimal way but labour was much faster which I think it would have been anyway. I was joking between contractions and felt like I had a break, I coped just fine during them on gas and air.. It was tough but doable I felt like I was more in control. I laboured with her in 6 hours start to finish, and when I gave birth I wanted to do it again, I was buzzing, it was the labour I always dreamed of..i went in thinking I would be begging for the epidural but managed just fine without and remember every second of it fondly.
So it's possible and in my experience I believe once you have done it the first time your body knows what to do, so you are more prepared for it not just physically but mentally and it tends to be much quicker. I would say go in with the epidural as an option but give it a go without if you are determined because you never know, but maybe just gas and air to take the edge off as I did feel like I needed it a bit when the contraction was at its peak.

First birth horrible and I felt very out of control. Second birth I made the effort to try and make it different iyswim.
I wrote a birth plan so that the midwife understood what I wanted at a time when I might not have been able to explain. I researched hypnobirthing and whist I didn’t fully “follow” it, I found the breathing techniques and visualising the contractions helpful to stay calm and manage the pain.
I had gas and air when they really ramped up and then stopped when it made me woozy.
i stayed up on my knees leaning on the top of the bed and let gravity do its thing. Only pushed twice. Much less traumatic🤣

None of my three births were particularly difficult but the third was a dream!

I knew I was dilated to 3 the day before from a doctor visit, so as soon as I arrived at the hospital I told them to call anesthesia for the epidural as I didn’t want to risk being too far!

I got my epidural then settled into bed. The nurse brought me hot blankets every 1/2 hour and told me my doctor was doing a surgery, so might not be back till 2pm. He showed up at 12.50, checked me, said we were going to delivery room, baby born on first push!

absolutely zero pain or discomfort.

I had epidurals for all 3, so no pain and quick deliveries once we got to the pushing part.