Did you have a memorable and enjoyable birth? Tell me about it please!

[Lilylorna]

Hi baby mummas. Looking for some advice and stories of your own births so that I can try to have a better birth than my first.
My first all happened really quick, waters broke at 10:30pm. By 2am I was 6cm dilated and hooked up to machines to monitor my baby's heart rate which they thought kept dropping. 5am I had morphine for the pain. 8:30am episiotomy and baby was born naturally with one last push before being forceped out.

I remember nothing but pain from start to finish.
The gas and air made any memories I did have feel like an out of body experience. Kind of like being drunk.

I would love to remember my second birth. Yes I know pain is inevitable, but how can I ease that and still be aware of everything? Am I dreaming of a magical scenario that doesn't actually exist?

I read books on hypnobirthing and essentially "breathing the baby out" which I personally, and maybe wrongly, thought was a lot of nonsense. But you know what, with my second I am happy to hear your story if you have a genuinely good one. Not just one to push the hypnobirthing agenda.

Tell me your positive stories. What you did to make it happen. And how much you remember.

Ps. I know that no baby gets your birthing plan emailed to your womb before birth so all this planning might be for nothing. But worth a shot either way!

Why does pushing a human being out of your body need to be memorable and enjoyable? Tooth extraction is not enjoyable and is done under anesthesia. Many natural processes aren’t.

what is memorable and enjoyable hopefully is the human life you create and the splendid moments you share as they grow into fantastic adults one day.

I say this as a mother of a 10 year old and a 6 year old. For my first birth I went in with laminated birth plans, fairy lights music and Hypnobirthing tapes. 37 hours later I figured out that what I really wanted was a Macdonalds burger and to cuddle my dog. second birth I went in with just clothing. 10 hours later I was mainly thinking of the same thing with a little baby in my arms.

I often think of the laminated birth plans.

I cant mind my birth so haven't a clue - it was in the 60's though and mum said she had 5 days lying in

It doesn’t ‘need’ to be. But it can be and some women want that. No need to denigrate other women’s preferences and choices.

I didn’t want interventions. (I fully appreciate that they are often necessary for the health of the mother and/or baby). So I was happy that I was able to avoid them. It’s no more complicated than that.

A positive birth is actually quite important as it is the beginning of your relationship with your child.. Having a traumatic start can affect bonding and trigger postnatal depression as it did unfortunately for my first.
So yes for me it was really important I had a positive second birth and fortunately I did and didn't suffer from postnatal depression this time around or feel it affected my relationship with my baby.. Maybe you were lucky you never experienced severe postpartum depression, so it didn't matter to you but to some of us it does.

I'd recommend Juju Sundin's book Birth Skills, and particularly the chapter on medicalised births. There are some positive stories there that are a really helpful counterpoint to the narrative that the only good birth is a natural one. If I had just listened to NCT talk of cascades of intervention etc I would have been much more anxious when we needed intervention. Having read those stories really helped me feel that induction (and eventually a c section) could still be a positive experience, and so helped me feel positive about it all. (Edit due to blasted autocarrot changing birth to birthday!)

Water birth with my third was so much better than my first two ‘bed’ births. I had a c-section with my last but would have 100% done it again, if I could have, and would highly recommend it, if it’s a suitable option.

Very true @LovingTheClassics . A friend had a hideously traumatic birth- absolutely awful. It was at least 6 months before she felt any love for her baby 😔 Luckily she had some excellent therapy, and came through it. The baby is an adult now and unscathed but had she not had access to that therapy at the right time, it could have played out differently. Even now, her child’s birthday is a very difficult day for her.

I’m one and done. One of my reasons for this is because I know nothing can top my birth experience, and I’d like to quit while I’m ahead haha.

At 41 weeks, I requested an induction as I was the size of the house and just wanted my baby out. Received a cervical sweep with fingers (which I did NOT enjoy) and then a Foley’s balloon. Was told to come back when the balloon fell out of its accord. Twenty fours later (41+1) the balloon popped out, back to the hospital I go. Was instructed to come back 24 hours later. So I did. In the meanwhile my waters had broken, but it barely a trickle that stopped fairly quickly.

At 41+2, I went back to the hospital. Was told there were at least 7 mums ahead of me with greater needs than mine and I’d have to wait, which I was happy to do. About 12 hours in a midwife must’ve have felt sorry for me because they told me I’d been upgraded from the NHS ward to the private wing of the hospital. Result!

I get to the private wing and I asked for an epidural. At this point the contractions were extremely mild, nothing to write home about but I wasn’t taking any chances. Within the hour I was hooked up to an epidural (after 2 failed attempts — apparently it was a bloodbath, but I didn’t notice, I was too focused on staying as still as possible) and then a syntocinon drip to induce labour. I spent the next 12 blissful hours napping while sporadically topping up my epidural with a remote control (it was capped at one dose per 15 minutes, I managed one dose an hour just to take the edge off the contractions)

At midnight (41+3) I was fully dilated. Midwives announced I could start pushing in an hour’s time and that I had one hour to birth this baby, failing which it would be the ventouse, failing that it was an emergency C-section. I was determined to have a vaginal birth so I popped the little bugger out in under 30 minutes. No pain or strain whatsoever thanks to the epidural (although each contraction had the sensation of the air being crushed out of my lungs by a giant pair of hands, which was strangely painless). Baby arrived at 9lbs and with an APGAR score of 9. Minimal blood loss (I think 400ml?) and only a second degree tear which the midwives stitched up immediately while I was still numb from the epidural.

Honestly, it was as perfect a birth experience as I could’ve wished for. I’m aware that lightning doesn’t strike twice and I refuse to push my luck, so one and done it is!

I did chunder everywhere shortly after the birth though, probably from the syntocinon and epidural leaving my system, but all in all — 10/10 experience.

Can’t remember my birth. It was a long time ago, and I was only a baby!

Awful and high intervention first birth, almost an emergency caesarian.
Second birth was amazing. I did a hypnobirthing course and properly practiced every day for months. I looked at optimal positioning for baby and followed that. I planned and had a home birth because I find hospitals stressful and oxytocin is not produced well in stressful environments.
Baby born in three hours, no stitches and I didn't ask for pain relief. Did a half hour walk to the local shops and back when she was three days old, I felt very well both mentally and physically.
Do what's right for you OP. Different things work for different women.

Yep wonderful, empowering and painless c sections, with my husband by my side, and my playlist on. Beautiful and pretty much painless recovery. Births don't have to be painful.

I had a wonderful birth and was on hormone cloud 9 for 3-6 months afterwards.
One of my friends beforehand who’d recently given birth told me it wasn’t that painful, stubbing your toe was worse and she was right, albeit gas and air helped.
I went in at 11pm due to bleeding, started contractions about 4 am, waters broke about 6 am, then had a little sleep, husband arrived about 10 am, contractions slowed early afternoon but after eating some biscuits they sped up again, midwives said it was textbook and didn’t want doctors involved, gave birth at 2.43pm.
Deep happiness and everlasting thanks to Carol, the head midwife at Barnet, and the wonderful midwife who stayed beyond her shift to see my beautiful baby girl born.

I had no epidurals with any of my births, but I had gas and air with one or two of them. I found the gas and air made me dizzy and that the breathing techniques I learnt before i had my first were just as effective as the gas and air.

Having really really lovely midwives helped. My first was born in the USA and i had a midwife who i saw at every appointment, and then she delivered the baby. Later births i had a smallish midwife team so i'd met all of them by the time i gave birth.

Is a doula an option? I really believe having the right support is key.

I will also give a big thank you to my body/nature/God who gave me uncomplicated (although not textbook) labours and births. They still hurt a lot but no scares.

2nd birth was great. I used hypnobirthing, gym ball, and lots of walking when I was able to. Midwife was fantastic and used her common sense when I started throwing up and gave me antisickness injection (even though i wasn't supposed to have this in midwife led unit). Got to the difficult bit and I asked her how long it was going to take, and she replied "depends on you: could be 10 mins, could be an hour" Baby was born in next push (or I remember it that way) What an adrenaline rush! Completely different to the first birth.

@LovingTheClassics You can not bond with a baby regardless of the birth experience. The positive memorable experience can be planned for but doesn’t always happen. It by no means means these mums won’t bond. It’s scaremongering to say they won’t too.

Absolutely, what looks from an outsider as a straightforward birth can feel traumatic for the mother.
In my case it took about six weeks for me to feel a bond with DD1 after a difficult birth. DD2's was an easy and joyous home birth and she just was. Hard to explain but she just fitted in at once and I adored her. They were two very different experiences and they were both quite easy babies temperamentally so I don't think that was the difference.

Birth with my youngest was such a positive experience, yes there was pain of course but I felt like I was very in control of my body and of decision making. Was very straightforward contractions started at home along with waters breaking shortly after, contractions painful but felt able to breathe through them and had a warm bath which helped take the edge off before using tens machine and making our way to hospital about 2 hours after first contraction. In hospital had the birthing pool and very quickly was ready to push. Pool was great to help with the pain along with breathing through contractions (with gas + air). I did push for an hour but I didn’t realise it was that long until they told me afterwards. I very much feel like I ‘went with my body’ and I was in sync with my body tried to keep a positive mindset that I can do this and I knew that when I felt I couldn’t do it - it meant I was in transition and baby was descending ready to be born. Baby was born in the pool really straightforward birth and we were home 6 hours later.

I reckon I must be close to the record for least dramatic birth imaginable.

I went into hospital at 7am for a planned c-section. I was first on the list and it was all done before 10am. I was discharged from hospital later the same day.

All in I was there for about 16 hours from start to finish. I’ve had more challenging dental work!

It was 43 and it was my first and only DC so I didn’t really know what to expect. When I read some people’s horror stories I think I must have been very fortunate.

Loved my elective section!

I had pethadine for two of mine. It was wonderful, I was so relaxed and although was aware of contractions, it was if it was happening in a different room to someone else!

I woke up when I needed to push, they were both out in a couple of contractions. The third was too quick for pethadine (20 mins from arrival to hospital) I didnt like that birth so much!

I had an induction because waters had broken the night before but by this time mild cramps had started. When they examined me I was 4cm dilated (at start of the induction). I had my birth playlist on and had done positive birthing course so was doing birth ball, walking around and moving from side to side a lot. Then lay down to watch an episode of tv on tablet with dh and by the end of the episode the pain had ramped up. Went to the loo and was sure I needed a poo. This was the worst bit of the whole thing (as I realised later I was transitioning). As i pressed head on door of bathroom, I shouted to dh and midwife I need to push and she was kind but said everyone feels like this, but it's a bit too early. Then examined me and I was actually 10cm! (About 4h after induction). Pushed for about 10 minutes. Episiotomy, baby born, then getting high on gas and air during stitches. It was overall fairly positive except the bathroom bit but the speed traumatised me as I wasn't prepared for it.

I had a great second birth. Went to dinner with friends the night before, thought I was having Braxton Hicks but they were quite regular. Woke at 4am with stronger contractions but not particularly painful, just tight. Went into hospital assuming they'd tell me to go home again, waters broke in car park, examined by midwife and told I was 10 cms. DS2 born 45 mins later. The crowning was painful but the rest was so much easier than DS1 - no comparison really.

This is quite a story! Giving birth in the car, kind of exciting and scary all at the same time.