'Was it planned?'

[HeyDW96]

Posted this on the AIBU board but wanted to know thoughts..

Is it okay for people's first question when they find out you're expecting to be 'was it planned?'

I actually find this question extremely irritating and intruding! I get it from work colleagues (who aren't friends) a lot! I didn't mind my family asking too much but I don't really want to share the conception circumstances of our first child with people I merely work with.

Am I the only one that wouldn't ask someone this!? I get it so often!!

Haha despite being 33 and married for 3 years this was the first question almost all of my colleagues asked me (apart from the one that went with ‘oh no, what are you going to do’? 😂)
It is a weird question and I definitely felt myself trying to justify why we had planned to get pregnant during a pandemic...
I think it’s just a reaction to unexpected news - people don’t always know what to say

Mate of mines girlfriend didn't even ask. She just came in with "obviously that was a surprise". Not really, I had my coil removed and we had unprotected sex. It wasn't a shock to us when I ended up pregnant actually.

Or the other question “was it a surprise?”.

Yes a huge shock that I had sex with my new DH and still don’t know how to use contraception after 8 years together

Massively intrusive.

I'd be tempted to go with one of:

No, massive surprise. Didn't know what to say when that bloody great archangel suddenly appeared in the living room half way through Casualty saying "hail, Cara, full of grace..."

Or

Yes. With military precision. Tracked my temperature, sex every night during the fertile period, but strictly in the missionary position followed by 20 minutes on my back with my legs up the wall to prevent leakage, sex once a week outside to keep DP's sperm count up, no wanking in between...

Ew no that is such an inappropriate thing to ask! Who does that??