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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

1st ever BFP - how do people keep this a secret?!

33 replies

HannyLove · 28/12/2019 15:51

Myself & my partner just found out today that we are pregnant, we haven't been trying for that long but I have a heart shaped womb and was told years previous that this day may never come. I have soooo many thoughts going around in my head and can already tell that keeping it secret will be sooo hard, has anyone else had a BFP recently?
New to here and would love to make some online friends! Xx

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GaaaaarlicBread · 28/12/2019 17:30

Hey ! Congratulations both of you , how wonderful !
I’m currently 4 weeks + 3 days pregnant with our first baby , very lucky it didn’t take us long either and I’m dying to tell people !!
Holding off til the 12 week scan which feels an eternity away!! X

Original poster

HannyLove · 28/12/2019 17:42

@itsemily aww thank you, congratulations to you both too! Aww that's so exciting, I'm only at about 2 and a half weeks. I know! 10 week wait just seems like a decade! Have you been feeling okay so far? Xx

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NCON · 28/12/2019 17:44

Hi, I too recently got my BFP so am 4+1 at the moment. I might not be the best person for advice as I've already told my parents, brother and 2 friends 🙈 found out Christmas morning and couldn't keep it in! Have told them all it's early days so can't get too excited yet.

I'm tempted to book an 8 week scan. Do you both hope to hold out till the 12 weeks?

Jamsponge71 · 28/12/2019 18:07

Congratulations! It’s such an exciting time! I had a private scan at 9 weeks due to previous miscarriages but even waiting that long was hard. I’m 19 weeks tomorrow. 😊

When you say 2.5 weeks, was that from a clear blue digital? If so, you’d be more like 4-5 weeks now.

GaaaaarlicBread · 28/12/2019 18:45

@HannyLove you’re possibly more 4 weeks if you say you’re 2.5 weeks . When do you think you conceived ? You can work it out from your last period . It seems like forever and I’m dying to tell people .
I had to tell my manager as I threw up at work and didn’t want them thinking I had a bug , and my husband has told one of his best friends at work but not told anyone else as we want to do a proper surprise !
I’ve been ok other than nausea (more at night) and I’m off my food , and bloated . Nothing bad though x

Original poster

HannyLove · 28/12/2019 19:17

@ncon aww what an amazing day to find out, congratulations! I've told my best friend but we work together so she would more than likely notice anyway, I'll have to tell my boss and I won't be able to wait until 12 to tell my Mam and Dad, we're really close. Have you worked out your due date? Xx

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SweetpeaOrMarigold · 28/12/2019 19:20

I know what you mean, 12 weeks is SO far away

Original poster

HannyLove · 28/12/2019 19:22

@jamsponge71 congratulations! Wonderful news. When are you due? @itsemily are they a little bit out with the date? I calculated on nhs due date calculator from last period and length of cycle and it said 3 weeks +. Ovulation date was 12/13th. Ah I'm going to have to do the same! My boss is really good so will tell her, I told my best friend- I work with her so she would have noticed anyway! Ah have you had sickness? Xx

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Original poster

HannyLove · 28/12/2019 19:23

@sweetpeaormarigold it feels like an age!!! X

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GaaaaarlicBread · 28/12/2019 20:24

Usually when the tests say 1-2 weeks or 2-3 etc , that’s from the date of conception but the Dr will go by the date of your last period . So mine said 1-2 weeks when I tested (after doing a line test I thought I’d do a digital to see the words ‘pregnant’!), but the dr said that it meant I was 3weeks 5days at the time , I was confused by it too.
Had nausea from 6 days post ovulation which is what made me think I must’ve been pregnant as I never feel sick. Dr joked and said I might be having twins 😂

GaaaaarlicBread · 28/12/2019 20:25

I’m so glad you made this thread as we are all pretty much in sync with each other , we can keep each other going !

Original poster

HannyLove · 28/12/2019 20:41

@itsemily Oh really? My last period was 4 weeks today, I will have to see what he says. How early did you go to the drs? Twins! Imagine!!! My oh is a twin, only fraternal though so only takes our chances up by 20%. Me too! It's such a weird situation to be in! Xx

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GaaaaarlicBread · 28/12/2019 21:24

@HannyLove I have epilepsy so went to the drs as soon as I found out as they have to refer you a bit earlier but I was just told to refer myself so it was a waste of time ! But they just use the NHS calculator (assuming you’re in the U.K. ) to work it out and they did a dip test too. So I left really anxious with no idea what to do or who to go to ! So I’m going to call the doctors on Monday to see if they can refer me at reception as I’ll need to be seen at 7 weeks for a few tests , and then I’ve paid for my private scan at 8 weeks eek x

DappledThings · 28/12/2019 21:43

can already tell that keeping it secret will be sooo hard

You know you don't have to if you don't want to. I never made a big announcement in general but just told people when it came up as well as calling parents and PIL pretty much as soon as we knew.

Gemc81 · 28/12/2019 22:53

I got my BFP on Monday 23rd Dec. We had a miscarriage end March this year and hadn't really tried at all this year due to moving and other things. We started trying again in December and here we are!

To answer your question we told the family and our best friends. Previously we didn't tell anyone and it didn't make the loss any easier to bare when it happened so this time I figure what will happen will happen and those that know can offer support if it's needed.

Also, since my parents were staying with us over Christmas and we were hosting both families Boxing Day it was obvious I wasnt drinking or eating the blue cheeses . Mil reaction was..... Ridiculously OTT and it kind of annoyed me a bit....

Tell people if you want to though!

NCON · 29/12/2019 07:44

@HannyLove yes, have been tracking with apps so it says I'm due Sep 4th, 4 weeks 2 days to be precise today lol. Not having much symptoms really 🤔 had sore boobs until yesterday now they have settled, the odd twinge here n there in my abdo but that's it. R u having any symptoms?

PotteringAlong · 29/12/2019 07:54

told my best friend- I work with her so she would have noticed anyway!

Unless you’re a gin taster she really wouldn’t have noticed...!

isittheholidaysyet · 29/12/2019 07:59

For number 1 we kept it a secret till 12 weeks.

For the next 3 we told people. We thought if we miscarry it's likely to be before then, and if we haven't told anyone then they'll be no-one to support us and no-one to remember our baby.
So don't feel you have to keep it secret.

Original poster

HannyLove · 29/12/2019 08:53

@itsemily aw really? I think they forget that it's an everyday thing to them but a life-changing one to you. Ah have you? Is that like a dating scan? I'm not good with all of this lol xx

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Original poster

HannyLove · 29/12/2019 08:55

@dappledthings thank you! ah did you? I'm very close to my parents so I reckon I'll have to tell them before they suspect!

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Original poster

HannyLove · 29/12/2019 08:57

@gemc81 thank you! I kind of think the same thing, we had been told that getting here might be impossible so I feel like I should be embracing it all. That would be difficult to avoid without suspicions, how far along are you? X

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Original poster

HannyLove · 29/12/2019 08:59

@ncon aww lovely. Yeah the same just a few twinges and weird aches, not that much!

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SinkGirl · 29/12/2019 09:00

My oh is a twin, only fraternal though so only takes our chances up by 20%.

Luckily it’s only twins on your side of the family that makes twins more likely as it’s about a predisposition to releasing more than one egg, so your OH’s sperm has nothing to do with it.

Not that it matters much - I had non identical twins without any family history, and identical twins are completely random.

Original poster

HannyLove · 29/12/2019 09:01

@isittheholidaysyet that is a good point! I only really wanted to tell them because my Mam is a nurse and has done this 3 times before, so she might be good to ask for advice. Thank you! X

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Gemc81 · 29/12/2019 09:08

@HannyLove I'm 5 weeks 3 days so it is still very early. As bad as this sounds if a pregnancy isn't going to be successful there is nothing that can be done to influence it either way so just enjoy it. I was 6 weeks when I started bleeding last time so DH and I are still a bit nervous but I'm not letting it dampen things.
Have you any symptoms? I've got the sore boobs and had a bit of queasiness a couple of days ago but nothing like morning sickness yet x

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