Why is pregnancy just so damn glamourous?!

[Lula2515]

So last night I got booted in the bladder and nearly wet myself and then this morning at just under 25 weeks, realised that I am officially milk-able.......
Any other glamorous stories?

I was once getting dressed to go for a nice meal had bought a lovely new dress got my hair done etc.

Then the smell of something made me boark, I ran to the bathroom, threw up and weed all over my nice new dress.

I refused to go out and went to bed in a sulk

Anyone else sweating like a pig?! Just been for lunch with a friend, got up and thought I'd peed myself. Disgusting.

Oh yeah...special down below sweat is the best!

Worried I was leaking amniotic fluid however midwife reassured me it was just excessive amounts of discharge! Lovely! Bring on cooler weather!

I'm another dealing with the joys of excess discharge - I should buy shares in panty liners - yuck!

I'm also looking forward to autumn/winter!

I also had to check about discharge.

My wee is super smelly (or maybe I can just smell it more). My poo is hard as rocks or slimy vileness and nothing in between.

I am incredibly clumsy and covered in little stains and so forth.

I dribble too much for a person. It's like I have a long lost relative who was a boxer dog or something, yuk.

The ridiculous speed at which all of my bodily hair is growing is super glamorous. Struggling to keep it all under control!

Ooo I'm really clumsy too.
Oh and I can't see my lady bits in the shower because of my bump so keep ending up with an oddly shaven Mohawk!

I woke up from my nap earlier with my hair full of slimy dribble. Does pregnancy make your saliva thicker?! It was heinous, it looked like a slug trail.

Oh, my poo made me sick while I had bad morning sickness so for the first 20+ weeks I had to poo with a bucket on my lap as I'd be retching and vomming at the same time
So classy.

After a late flight and a long drive home I was sick all over my own doorstep last night! And I mean ALL over!! Couldn't even make it into the house!! Not my best moment.

I too have poo like rocks or slime and nothing in between! I also get very very bloated and often do farts that feel like I'm actually deflating, silent, not smelly, just so much excess air! Plus my DH hates any conversation about bowel movements and toilet habits, so I can't even share these joys with him!!

Yep, dribble, snoring, bloating, moustache... I'm bloody sexy, I am!

However, on the plus side, I don't need a bag when I pop out as my phone now fits down my cleavage...

One word. Haemorrhoids.

Loads - and I mean LOADS - of little moles, like skin tags, popped up ALL over my body: up my neck, across my decolletage, under my boobs, across my stomach. Super moosey. I still have some (son is 2.7).

Discharge galore.

I'd walk and fart at the same time for days on end, especially in the last two weeks, step step step reaching something on a high shelf in the supermarket putting things on conveyor belt Now, I love a good fart, me, but even that was excessive

I had random thick black hairs growing in weird places: right out of my neck under my ear, one huge old hag hair between my boobs, left forearm. Most disconcerting.

The sleep-dribble was as attractive as the walrus-snoring

Hahahaha. I wonder whether I'd just never really engaged with any of my pregnant friends, or whether they were just good at hiding the bad stuff, but really... I'm already at the stage where I feel as if I have to hold myself in when I stand up. I was demonstrating this in the pub the other day and all my colleagues joined in and agreed - one of them said they were walking their dog at 33 weeks holding onto their crotch the whole time. But I've not noticed people do this, I've not been told this before... I think that it's a secret 'horrors of pregnancy' club or something.

Random dark hairs sprouting in places I've never had hair

Sweating so much I thought my waters were leaking

Huffing and puffing walking up a hill I sound like a walrus

Piles

Shits or constipation

Hernia near my belly button

Hair so greasy it looks like I've showered in a deep fat fryer

Can't think of anything else. But am incredibly blessed and excited to be pregnant after loss and cannot wait to meet this baby, it is ALL worth it x

I have STUBBLE on my chin. I'm not usually a hairy person at all and miss my blonde downy wisps...

Oh this has made me chuckle but thankfully not wet myself today like I did last time!
I got puffy hot ankles and as for the dampness down below.......rank
I am reduced to patching up a pair of denim shorts with a hole in crotch cos I refuse to spend more money on clothes I wont need much longer. Patches!!!! This is a women who used to shop in bloody All Saints ! Jeeez!!!!!

The whole thing really brings us in touch with our inner animal, and that's not even getting to the birth part...babies would need to be cute or no-one would do it twice!

My hair growth has slowed down for some reason. But I've a sweat issue even in crotch area. And the discharge yuck, partner was quizzing me as to why I bought so many pads as he thought I didn't get errors when pregnant haha I told him to mind his own business, let him live in Layla land

Meant periods

I had a cold recently and actually asked DH to smell a pad to check it didn't smell "bad like a UTI, sweet or spermy like leaky waters".

He actually did it and said it smelt of "sweaty pregnant fanj, nothing to worry about" and I was never to ask him to do something that gross again.. EVER

To the sweat/discharge/waters quandary I'll add thrush- I just can't seem to get rid of it or keep track of whether I have it or not.
The wind is unbelievable! I am famous in my family for never farting but I can't stop I remember the thrush from previous pregnancies but not the wind.