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Original poster

How long did it take you to adjust to having a newborn?

34 replies

AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 23/12/2019 16:06

My DD is 1 week old.

its been the longest week of my life.

I'm omagining the future and wondering how long it took you all to adjust to your new life? it's daunting. Just the thought of DH going back to work is a bit too much. We can hand DD over to deal with thing - i wont be able to that soon.

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Zarara · 24/12/2019 07:44

With my first dc probably around 4 months. Having a newborn is really hard work add in the sleep deprivation and worry and everything else it took me time to adjust to my new normal.

MustardScreams · 24/12/2019 07:46

Probably around 3/4 months by the time I was confidant and relaxed a bit more.

The first few weeks are weird because hormones, no sleep and not knowing wtf you are doing. It does get better!

MindyStClaire · 24/12/2019 07:49

Well DC1 is nearly two and DC2 expected next summer. I'm hoping it'll kick in any day now...

Seriously though, those early days are so tough, but you'll soon find your rhythm. Do you have a bouncer or playmat to put the baby down on?

ToManderleyAgain · 24/12/2019 07:51

It took me longer than most I think, but the real game changer was going back to work after 10 months as that gave me some head space. Having a newborn was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But don’t worry: you get used to the ‘new normal’, and it will become easier as baby gets older (and you get more sleep!)

chocodrops · 24/12/2019 07:59

It's so hard. Took us about 12 weeks to get into our groove. I cried every day for a month with DD. But, it started to tick upwards from 4-6 weeks. At the time it was awful but looking back if didn't last long. Do what you need to do to get through it, you will be ok ❤️ x

TwinMum89 · 24/12/2019 07:59

My twins are nearly 5 months and things have felt better the last month or so. It was so so hard at the beginning. Things picked up when they started to smile and we could interact with them. We have also been getting a bit more sleep recently and that has helped massively. Hang on in there! I really questioned whether I was going to cope and, if I’m honest, I didn’t enjoy the newborn stage but I’m starting to really enjoy being their mummy now.

XJerseyGirlX · 24/12/2019 08:06

5 months and I felt reasonably normal again with dd. Felt completely lost up until then x

sirmione16 · 24/12/2019 08:06

The first 2 weeks were the absolute hardest, but honestly they change month to month so just when you think you've figured it out or you're tired of it all, something new happens that's exciting. Relax, you're doing great

July19 · 24/12/2019 08:11

Probably about 3 months. My lb is now 5 months and we are so comfortable and know what we're doing!
Weeks 1 through 8 are the hardest, especially if you've had a c section.

I promise you will look back and miss how tiny your baby was, but it's totally normal and okay to hate the newborn stage!

KidCaneGoat · 24/12/2019 08:13

About a year to feel back to my old self.

happytoday73 · 24/12/2019 08:18

Congratulations!!!!!!!
Yep I agree it's very daunting.
You will get a pile of mixed messages on here as everyone is different state after birth, some people it comes to naturally and some newborn babies are much harder than others!
I found new baby stage exhausting, monotonous and to be frank tedious.. Tiny babies are not my thing.... It took weeks to adjust and again like other posters it took going back to work to feel human again. My 2nd child was a a dream towards my first that thinks sleep is for wimps and really slept little at night, was always up at 4 for the day and slept little in the day unless in car or being pushed in a buggy. It made my DH and I ill. He is nearly at high school now and still needs little sleep.

However I digress to help with the next few weeks... Lower your standards on everything (cleaning, food etc), if you are up to it get a walk in every day. When baby's dad gets home from work eat and go to bed... Honestly this was the best advice my GP have me... I would sleep from 7. DH would give last feed at 11 (we dual fuelled - one formula feed at night) then baby slept few hours.When woke I took over... This worked for us... Even though never saw each other!
This helped us feel less sleep deprived and parenthood sort of felt more accepted.
Good luck!

OceanSunFish · 24/12/2019 08:23

For me the first smile (around 6 weeks) was a game changer. It finally felt as if this little tyrant who was ruling my life actually appreciated my efforts in some small way! Until then it all seemed pretty thankless.

Skidzer · 24/12/2019 08:26

I went back to work when he was 6 months which saved my sanity. It took me 2 years to fully accept that I was a parent and all that went with it.

BonnyE · 24/12/2019 08:26

3 months until I felt even vaguely human. It really started to feel much better at 5 months

Sipperskipper · 24/12/2019 08:27

God I found it all so hard. I think maybe around 2 months I felt more normal and started enjoying it a bit more. It was so tough though and I felt like a bomb had been dropped in the middle of our lovely life.

DD is 2.5 now and absolutely fantastic - I’d love another one!

Skidzer · 24/12/2019 08:27

I loved him from the moment he was born, but to return to 'me' took 2 years.

EmrysAtticus · 24/12/2019 08:29

Around 18 months for me but I had PND. Ever since that lifted life with DS has been awesome :)

Georgiemcgeorgeface · 24/12/2019 08:32

Around 4 months to accept this was now the new normal but a lot lot longer to relax into it. I cut short my maternity and went back to work after 5 months so o could feel like myself again. That helped. It's really tough being a new parent so don't beat yourself up and if you need help please ask for it x

kiki22 · 24/12/2019 08:34

I don't even remember the first month of ds1 being here it was a shattered blur of not knowing what I was doing. Ds2 it was great from the start but the first baby your handed this little human and told to take care of it it's so much to cope with.

You will get into the swing if it in no time try not to worry.

FriedasCarLoad · 24/12/2019 08:42

Things were suddenly an awful lot easier at 6 weeks - boobs stopped hurting and everything felt easier. Plus my baby became far more responsive.

Maybe it won't be at 6 weeks for you, but it will get easier.

Frazzled2207 · 24/12/2019 08:54

I don't know but definitely months.

It is definitely hardcore. I remember having a mini-breakdown the day before my dh went back to work wondering how I'd cope. He just screamed constantly unless held.

Anyway I just about did cope, had another and they are now 4 and 6!

Don't be hard on yourself, it is very very hard. MUCH harder than I imagined. For now, don't worry about the housework and just concentrate on yourself and your baby.

Pegase · 24/12/2019 09:21

Got better than total horror at 2 months but really 3/4 months onwards was significant improvement.

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasFiveHumps · 24/12/2019 21:52

Thanks for the replies. I’m not sure if they help or not😂

I know it will be an up and down journey and there is light at the end!
It’s crazy how long it feels since she arrived.

OP posts:
Plantgardens · 24/12/2019 21:56

I probably took me around 2 years to feel settled with the disrupted sleep and disrupted life.

Tetran · 24/12/2019 21:56

Probably around 12 weeks. I mean, life hasn't been the same since, but around that time I was feeling physically better and largely healed, I was more confident, feeding settled into a pattern, and a routine (led by baby) began to emerge a bit. I am not sure exactly when, but your hormones go wild at one point which doesn't help! Hopefully you start to feel a bit better soon, let someone know if you're struggling though.