November 2008 - Two, too soon !!

[Oblomov]

Someone had to do it. Witty thread titles, not my forte, but no one else seemed willing.

Oh no, I have missed so much.
of you all having lovely chats!
My computer has died an awful death!
I have mums on loan just now and the type is teeny. I have no idea what I have done or how to fix it!!

Anyway, this is just bookmarking. I will try to fix the type, so that I can read and catch up with you all.
Missed you though
!!

Twinks I did wonder where you were - computers are a bloddy nightmare sometimes aren't they?

Jars any news yet???? They are just so lovely at this age aren't they (apart from when they are in major grumpy mode a la Hamster 90% of the time )

Trying swimming again in a little while with Hamster in the vain hope that he won't spend the entire 30 mins clung to my neck

Another name-changer here - it's Cricri - and huge apologies for not posting for ages, life just took over and although I've been reading the thread regularly I never got chance to post. Hope you'll have me back!
It was MonkeyMargot who prompted me to post here tonight after I posted on her other thread and forgot to change my nickname, it's been so long since I posted on MN! So MM, we have indeed met Glad CP had a good nap at nursery today, never underestimate the power of peer pressure Hope she naps well for you tomorrow and wakes up happy again.
I don't know where to start, it's impossible to keep up with everything that has been said so I just want to say to Obs that I hope you're getting the support you need and that we can't wait to have you back when you're ready.
I'm also on tenterhooks waiting for Jars to POAS tomorrow and tell us the result
Mama Hope you're OK, saw your FB status earlier and it sounds as though you're in some discomfort (to put it mildly!).
Ceebee Hope you had a good swimming lesson with Hamster.
All OK here, big night for E tonight as she's staying over at my mum's for the first time ever. The main reason is to give me my first decent night's sleep in 2 years (yes, we're still having problems during the night!) but also to get her used to staying at my mum's because I'm going to be working abroad for a couple of weeks in November and E needs to get used to being without me at night. It feels really strange not having her in the house at night, not quite right Mum had a job putting her to bed but she's finally asleep. I hope she stays asleep and I hope I manage to sleep - I bet I'll still be listening out for the baby monitor!
Hi to everyone I've missed and I promise I will try to keep up in future.

Hi Impala!

Nother neg test here, so I'm going to wait til Thurs and test again, if AF doesn't get me first.

How is everyone else this lovely morning?

Knackered in a word. CP awake since 4am :-(
Jars we wait with bated breath of news...is it too early to test you think?

Oh MonkeyM that is hard work :-( My DS1 was up crying this am as he needed the toilet but it was too dark to find his way poor sausage.. Think it is time to put the hall light on dimmer!

Awaiting news from Jars incidentally I found a 'jar opener' I bought in Lakeland ages ago but never used, it is now on the dining table and reminds me of you when I walk past lol!

Waves to Impala I am also a recent returner to the thread :-)

Waves to Twinks too!! Hope you are well.

Hope swimming did the trick Ceebs

Further waves to everyone else too!

Oh, it is so nice to have this thread 'active' again isn't it?

jars for negative but it may be too early?? Maybe you have got a longer cycle this moth (I know I didn't test positive either time until CD38)

Monkey ouch for a 4am start Really wish I had some advice - haven't looked at your other thread and it may be something you have tried or not even want to go there - but how about CP coming into your bed at that time? Maybe she would settle and go back to sleep and you all could sleep longer?

Impala lovely to have you back - how did your night without E go? I bet she slept really well at your mum's Neither of my 2 have ever slept anywhere else (other than the occasional hotel room with me and DH) and DS1 is 4!! I need to start arranging sleepovers at my parents as he will probably need to stay there at some school hoildays!

Swimming was better yesterday - Hamster didn't cling to me quite as much and actually floated on his tummy and kicked his legs for a while (as long as I was still touching him!) - actually it was quite a big improvement so maybe next week I can actually let go of him for a little bit!!

He cried again this morning at nursery though That is every morning now for the last 2 weeks because DS1 is no longer there with him. I know he is absolutely fine once I have gone but I hate having to walk away when he is like that

Hello all, Saw this thread on active convos so thought would pop in and say hi ! Hope you area all doing ok I do see some of you on FB ( I do drool over the pics!) We are ok . Minirosa has started nursery and doing ok after a 1st week of hell. She is still in with the little children and when they mix with the older ones ( play times / snack time) I hope she will be ok as there are some little thugs in there! Anyway we have another week of late drop offs early pick upas and I hope to be able to finally find the floor of the house and maybe even ( shhhhh do a gym class I daren't say it out loud incase it gets jinxed!)
I will try and have a catch up but as for being 2 its scares me time has flown too fast !!!!

sparkle, it would never be used in our house, thanks to my amazing superpowers.

Yay for Hamster and Minirosa at nursery! I still have the odd bad drop-off/pickup with Finbo and he's been going since he was 9mo. But it's so nice for them to be part of a world that is totally geared to their needs, isn't it?

Feel really sick.

Hello ladies!
I haven't posted for ages but saw monkeys thread and thought I'd say hi!
Getting ready to go to work but will catch up later

impala, rosa and chocolategal HELLO!

I mentioned the other day that DS was a right mare over the weekend with very unusual intense bad behaviour. Well on Monday morn I had a quick word with his teacher to see if he has shown this at school. She was ed and said he is lovely and not seen it. Anyhoo when I picked DS up at the end of school the teacher said "i have seen what you mean today and it shocked me as he is such a nice boy". Also that he even broke some posts inside a tent they had up and that he hasnt been listening. She was lovely about it all. As I was walking away I asked DS why he broke the tent and he had said basically another child wouldn't let him in so he got . So I took him back to his teacher and got him to apologise and told her I think he is acting like this out of frustration. Now I understand his behaviour even if it is wrong.

His teacher was lovely and explained to him that if he feels upset, angry or someone is just annoying him to tell her or one of the other ladies. Also that he needs an early night and to sit at the front of class so he can hear her (glue ear ) or tell her if he cant hear. Such a lovely lady. He went to bed at 7pm without watching TV no arguements .

Apparently he has been great today at school. Also not as "intense" at home. Oh and his missing trousers have returned . He went to bed just after 7pm tonight after reading his school book and paying attention. He loves his "reading corner" i have made him on his bed with his little lamp. But also maybe he paid attention because the book is about the jungle .

Just thought I would say then realised I have gone on. Apologies.

sparkletoes - RE DS waking you to go to toilet. My DS (4yr) is normally fine at going in the night and we have a plug in light at the top of the stairs. But last night he came and woke me up to put the light on for him . Stupidly I jumped up out my bed forgetting about being 33wks and having dodgy hips. To be greeted by pain and massive click of the hips. So DH (asleep) said "you ok" and I winced "not really" to which he fell back asleep .

I have told DS to use his toy story torch if he needs to go tonight like in the past. Am I bad?

QUESTION - Should I feel bad that we are getting DS to bed for 7 or soon after on school nights to help with the bad behaviour and then Alyssa (more often than not at mo) be kicking up such a fuss (polite version) that she ends up coming back down?

Hi :)

Its so nice to be chatting to you all again.
Im at work :( but its going well so nothing to complain about.

ceebee my DS still cries some days when i leave him at nursery but I know he is fine within minutes of me going as I've hid and watched him playing!!
monkey really hope the early starts are improving, I posted on your thread about our experiences of it.

Things all good with us, DS is really quite wild though. I only really realised how energetic and outgoing he is when i started taking him to toddler sensory a few weeks ago. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. He isn't bad with it but we are going through a phase of throwing toys, sometimes out of excitement , sometimes out of anger.

hello to everyone and i will definately make more of an effort to keep posting!

Morning everyone

mama glad you got to the bottom of DS1's behaviour and I am sure Reception teachers have seen it all before and are great at understanding and dealing with it. I wouldn't worry about A staying up later than DS1 if DS1 isn't bothered/hasn't noticed - he needs his sleep at the moment!

DS1 hasn't really been noticeably more tired than normal since starting school as I thought I would have that dilemma as Hamster goes to bed at 7.15ish and then DS1 is anytime between 7.30-8 depending on what we are doing/what he is watching on tv.

Am also that your 4-year olds are going to the toilet in the night - DS1 is still in pull-ups and shows no sign of being dry at all! I know I should probably tackle it but am too lazy to deal with the washing

Choc don't worry about your DS, he is not wild, just a 'typical' boy! DS1 was exactly the same and I used to look at other children sat nicely/doing as they were told etc but we soon realised he wasn't going to change so we just accepted it. He is still the same (hates to sit still) so we just have to plan to go out every day so he can run around and tire himself out My mum doesn't understand as my brother was not like that...she always asks why I have to take him out every day

Hamster cried again this morning but this time it was because DS1 didn't get out of the car as it was raining so I took Hamster into nursery alone - he then stopped crying when one of the staff cuddled him but was laid pathetically with his head on her shoulder looking really sad I never get cuddles like that so am I allowed to be I just wanted to snatch him back and have him lay on my shoulder for a bit!!

At work so I can't catch up on the thread but I'm not pg .

It would have been terrible timing but there's no way we can be that careless again for ages so that's me out for a 2011 baby.

I'll catch up properly later on.

hello all - very quickly want to say hello and offer support to Mama DS2 also started reeception, him and Tiger are in bed at 630pm every night (irrespective of school night or not) and DS1 who is 7 also in bed at 630pm but we read to 7 then lights out....IMO this is about the right time, they all sleep to 630-730ish which is perfect for school days, less so at weekends but DH and I take it in turns to have a lie in!!! Also means you get an evening to yourself...Have always done this (GF lead as you know for sleep and feeding patterns) all kids have slept through from between 10-14 weeks and never had problems at night....all still in the "routine" no problem with being in their own bedrooms etc etc Do you have a routine after supper??? I don't even let them watch TV in the week after supper (although do let them after school when I am cooking!)

jars to you about feeling sad. I know if you had of been pregnant it would of been unplanned but you seem to really want another. Why no chance of a 2011 babe if what you obviously want? Will keep my nose out now.
pixie i do have a routine after tea (is this supper to you, between 4-5pm?). but it isnt as rigid as yours i think even though I do agree with the reasoning of what you do. I do allow TV to be watched but I also like to limit it as much as possible for both kids even on weekends. No TV past 6.30 on school nights with aim of book and bed for DS and drink, book and bed for DD by 7 give or take 5 mins. To be honest DS has been/is pretty good with this. It is just DD who has just now at 22m started kicking up a fuss at naps and bed time most days but does sleep through. Although do feel bad for her 2 days when she is at nursery (from 8am) until 6pm then to say bed at 7pm when she obviously has missed seeing us is hard but necessary for routine in the rest of the week.

Only fri & sat are we less rigid and aim for bed for DS no later than 8pm and allow DS to watch a DVD or video he likes as a treat he hasnt had all week. But try to stick at 7pm for DD.

Aww, jars hugs to you, am sorry about the negative

waves to pixie - how are you? How is the business going? Am seriously tempted to use you as have no really nice pics of me and J and would love some (and someone to make me look good ) but need to watch the pennies let me know if you have any speacial offers on though!

impala - hiya! what's with the name change??? Sorry i've not sent the pics through yet after your lovely email I have the disc with me today so will make sure I sort it out. Hope E is well and let me know when you have some time free soon :)

I have started a thread here and would love some advice freom all you lovely ladies as you know the backstory.

Lovely to see us all 'active' on the convo front again

Thanks, all x

I was soooooooo sure as well. I had all the symptoms up to and including metallic taste, nausea, breast changes (I never get them with PMS, never ever ever). I'm gutted, tbh.

Going to try and get some work done and cheer the heck up. [forced ]

Autumnlady, my gut feeling would be to let them make the effort. If they really want to be part of his life then they will. If they're not prepared to put the time and effort in*, then do you need the angst? I would miss my ILs like hell but they keep in contact with us and make a lot of effort to know their DGCs.

*Unless they are particularly ill or frail, that is. That might be different.

Hugs, it's so hard working out what to do for the best.

Autumn hi - will check out your thread in a mo (am supposed to be at work )

Jars so sorry you are not pg You are allowed to feel hugely disappointed, especially as you had all the symptoms. Agree with Mama, why can't you try as you would have coped if you had been pg accidentally?

Pixie in bed by 6.30 Wow that is early! I guess (and I apologise for the huge generalisation here!) that is maybe a difference between SAHM and WOHM as by the time I get home from picking my boys up, it is 6 o'clock and then they need a snack, bath etc before bed so 7.15 for Hamster is a struggle sometimes plus I want to spend a little bit of time with them in the evening having not seen them all day. However, if my 2 appeared to need more sleep, I guess I would have to move their bedtimes to earlier but as it is, DS1 is generally asleep by 8 and still gets up between 6-6.30 and is not remotely tired - unlike me and DH Hamster is asleep by 7.30 and is usually awake sometime between 6.30 - 7 (or earlier if DS1 is in a mischievous mood and jumps in his cot )

help with dilemma brought on myself please ... help please

Ceebs, I think I'm doing well if mine's in bed by 8... It used to be 9! Cheers, babes. I just want to go home and cry. DH won't countenance it until we get the house sold (unless it won't sell due to recession). Fair enough, I suppose, but I really wanted that baby. I could practically smell its hair! I was so willing it to be in there and hanging on. Christ, If I'm like this over a period, how the fuck would I cope with a mc?

Hi all, blimey, there's been loads going on!! Jars so sorry it was -ve for you. I am desperate to have another one but we need to move first and have only had 3 viewings in 2 months

Thought I'd update you on DSis situation. I didn't ring SS in the end. DSis kicked her DH out (Hurray) only for him to return (Boo) and for my nephew to remain at our parent's house for the entire school holiday and he's still there now - about 2 months so far

I really don't know what to do about it. I feel like the waste-of-space has 'won' this battle of wills, thanks to my sister being so weak. She has chosen a two timing, alcoholic, gambling, bi-polar pillock over her own child!!
She claims to 'love my son' yet doesn't put his welfare first.... The actions of a mentally abused woman? Probably.....
It's not just C who has been alienated, it's all her family as none of us will go to her house as we are not welcome (him, not her). I don't have a relationship with my neice and other nephew because of this. Likewise J doesn't know his Auntie as he never sees her.

Maybe I should just ignore her completely... But I don't think she'd notice....

Lovely to see so much chatting going on here again
So sorry to hear Jars news though especially as the symptoms sounded so promising, how gutting Hope you can find some solution if you really want no 2, somebody said to me the other day that there is never a good time to have a baby, as Ceebee says, you would have coped if you had been pg this time around.
Chocolategal Lovely to "see" you, how is E sleeping at night these days? Re his energy, as Ceebee says it sounds like a boy thing, all my friends with boys say the same. It could also be an age thing - E rarely sits still for 5 minutes at the moment and friends with girls are also experiencing the same thing. We've also had problems with throwing - it's hard to make her understand that sometimes it's OK to throw things (a ball, pebbles in the water etc) and sometimes it's not. It must be so confusing for them!

Autumnlady My new name was for another thread I used to post on but which is no longer going. After using it by accident the other day, I decided I quite like it and fancied a change . Had a quick look at your other thread and you've had some helpful suggestions so far. Agree with sending ex-MIL a letter and some photos and offering to meet at some point. Ex-FIL is trickier I must admit. Will text you re meeting up - E loves looking at photos of our last day out and says J's name, so sweet!
Rosa Lovely to see you too, hope mini-rosa is getting on OK at nursery.
Monkey Hope CP woke a bit later this morning, it's so hard.
Ceebee that Hamster won't give you cuddles. Can imagine how you feel.
Mama Hope your pain has subsided after seeing to DS in the night. Hope the early nights help for him, starting school really takes it out of them doesn't it?
to Pixie, hope you're all well
Update on E sleeping round at my mum's - it went really well. Mum had a bit of a job getting her to go to sleep and she then stirred twice, at 2am and 5.30am, but mum just reassured her and she went back to sleep again and woke up happily at 6.15am. Back to her usual pattern with me last night though - awake at 1.45am and then every 90 minutes or so thereafter. Me reassuring her occasionnally works and she'll go back to sleep but more often than not I have to lie next to her and she's then in such a light sleep that as soon as I move she's awake again. Not sure what to try.