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Original poster

Catholic? I need your advice...

49 replies

Zebraa · 10/12/2008 21:49

I'm 26 and a somewhat Catholic, by that I mean I have always believed but haven't been to a Sunday mass, confession etc. since my primary school days. However, I've been feeling a little 'lost' lately and also feeling like I have so much to be thankful for, and so have been giving some thought to going to mass on a Sunday and also confession.

Possibly a stupid question, but can I just go along to confession and Sunday mass this Sunday without contacting our Rev beforehand?

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 10/12/2008 21:52

Yes!

Do you want to go to confession before Mass? It might be worthwhile getting in touch just to check when they are. But otherwise just go along and introduce yourself at the end - or scuttle out. Whatever you feel comfortable with

ceciliaaherne · 10/12/2008 22:05

Absolutely!Remember as well that confession is a private thing and many people do actually prefer to go outwith their own parishes anyway.

Original poster
Zebraa · 10/12/2008 22:09

I should go to another church for confession?

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elsiepiddock · 10/12/2008 22:09

Of course! Isn't that the lot of us Catholics?

I didn't attend mass from the age of about 16, but then started going again once I had children. I feel part of the community again now, but I never re-introduced myself or in fact, went to confession (it's been about 22 years since my last! )

TheFallenMadonna · 10/12/2008 22:13

No - you can go to the same church for confession. That's no problem.

at elsie - but you could go and say "bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been 22 years since my last confession..."

Original poster
Zebraa · 10/12/2008 22:16

Another possibly stupid question, but do I say what my sins are? One is quite bad - for example would I be forgiven all sins?

Apologies for getting all deep and meaningful...

OP posts:
VivaLaPotPourri · 10/12/2008 22:18

Go along this Sunday to your church - the confession times should be on the newsletter. Confess all your sins, you will be forgiven

ceciliaaherne · 10/12/2008 22:21

Yes- you say where you feel you have failed, however small or big. I don't think of it as a get out of jail card- oh great, I've said my sins and been absolved. If it were that easy, we'd do whatever we liked and then just go and have the slate wiped clean. I think it gives us a chance to reflect on where we may have failed God, ourselves, our loved ones through our actions or thoughts and gives us a chance to say sorry to God but also to think about how we can change these beahviours to be closer to God. I too aplologise for getting all deep and meaningful- and I should also say I, like many of my peers, am not a regular confessor.

TheFallenMadonna · 10/12/2008 22:22

What viva said.

It's the sacrament of reconciliation. It's all about recognising the errors of the past, repenting and being forgiven by God

23balloons · 10/12/2008 22:24

ds made his first confession on Saturday. Parents have to attend several sessions beforehand and as part of a discussion, we were informed as long as you are there for the beginning of the mass, all of your sins are forgiven without having to go into the confessional box and confess.

So don't worry too much about the confession.

elsiepiddock · 10/12/2008 22:35

When my ds1 made his first confession, all us Catholic parents were told we HAD to go ourselves.

I was too chicken to say 'it has been 20 years since my last confession' and reel off the litany of sins - so I skulked at the back! Two years on and ds2 is preparing for his, and I'm planning on doing the same!!

CocoaCloset · 10/12/2008 22:36

I have been back to church recently but have not taken communion since I am divorced.

My mam was told she could never take communion again since she has been divorced (albeit almost 30 years ago). It upset her greatly and continues to do so.

Is our understanding correct?

CocoaCloset · 10/12/2008 22:36

I have been back to church recently but have not taken communion since I am divorced.

My mam was told she could never take communion again since she has been divorced (albeit almost 30 years ago). It upset her greatly and continues to do so.

Is our understanding correct?

ceciliaaherne · 10/12/2008 22:40

AFAIK that is correct although I agree you would think they could move with the times. You are supposed to go throught the whole annulment process which can be very stressful. I would ask your PP.

Tommy · 10/12/2008 22:40

no Cocoacloset - fortunately, your understanding is incorrect

Being divorced doesn't exclude you from communion. It is that the Church has a problem with but when you go to communion, it is an issue between you and God - unless you are causing a scandal in whoch case the priest might want a word.

Zebraa - go along and see how you feel

If you live in Southampton, you could come along to our church - we're particularly welcoming to people who have been away

elsiepiddock · 10/12/2008 22:41

Well, I take communion as do many of my friends who never go to confession, and I have a divorced friend who goes up to communion.

I think the days of it being rigidly rule bound are over.

If you feel ready to receive, then you should, imo.

My parents are complete dyed in the wool Catholics who follow it to the letter, but none of their children do - but we all attend mass to suit our own faiths, be that once a week or twice a year!

Original poster
Zebraa · 10/12/2008 22:42

Can I just get this right: if you have been divorced, had a child out of wedlock (me!), cheated on a partner, had a termination etc, you can't take communion?

OP posts:
elsiepiddock · 10/12/2008 22:43

Tommy - I'm not in Hants, but I sometimes go to alovely church in Soton with my friend with a particularly lovely priest.

CocoaCloset · 10/12/2008 22:49

my mam asked the priest again only a few years aso and she was told she would not be able to go for communion. This was one of several priests she has spoken to.

Our whole family were committed Churchgoers, yet these rejections have meant that they have rejected the church almost completely.

All my mam did was get divorced in her early twenties - I have done the same.

Original poster
Zebraa · 10/12/2008 22:59

Can I just get this right: if you have been divorced, had a child out of wedlock (me!), cheated on a partner, had a termination etc, you can't take communion?

My sin is one listen, should I not receive communion?

OP posts:
Original poster
Zebraa · 10/12/2008 23:01

-listen listed*

OP posts:
ceciliaaherne · 10/12/2008 23:02

I would go to confession and discuss it with the priest there. Then there is no need for the face to face and he will keep you right.I hope this thread has not done the opposite of what it should have done and made you think about not going.

macmam · 10/12/2008 23:13

Actually, if you are only divorced, ie not re-married/living with new partner, you should be able to recieve in the normal way. Ideally shouldn't we all go to confession regardless at least once a year. Only serious mortal sins, abortion (has to be referred to a Bishop before person allowed to receive again)murder/rape etc, and venial sins repeatedly committed prevent us from being in "Communion" with the Church. This prevents a person from receiving, so Confession a good starting point for anyone trying to make their way back.

CocoaCloset · 10/12/2008 23:16

So you are only allowed so long as you never re-marry?!

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 10/12/2008 23:20

Ok. According to the catholic faith, once you are married in the sight of God "let no man put asunder". However there are reasons for annulment of that marriage under the catholic law; if you were abused during the marriage, if he left you for another, if he underwent a drastic personality change, if you married under pressure, if you were deemed too young or if you were not of mental sound judgement when you got married.

However this is up to the priest's discretion. If you went and had a chat with the priest he may agree to give you communion. Though of course you could always go and get it anyway, because let's face it, Jesus never turned anyone away.